


Joined to Strengthen Each Other

by StandinShadow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Korean Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Miscommunication, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, but for wildly opposite reasons which causes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-10-05 05:44:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 54,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10298924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StandinShadow/pseuds/StandinShadow
Summary: Everyone is born with a soulmark on their hand with a unique pattern that represents the personality of their soulmate (or soulmates) on the palm of their hand. Once two soulmarks make contact, a bond or tug will develop between them, allowing them to sense each other across vast distances and to share their strongest emotions with their soulmate.Most people spend their whole lives dreaming of the moment they'll meet their soulmate, but what happens when one person is afraid they won't be good enough for their soulmate and the other is too afraid of rejection to even try?





	1. Glossary of Marks

**Author's Note:**

> A glossary for the meaning of the different lines, shapes, and symbols that make up everyone's mark within the story. The meaning behind them will be explained throughout the fic, but I figured it would be a good idea to have.

  

 **Circles/Dots -** Represent the people most important to you, typically found in the center of your palm. The number often hints at the extroversion or introversion of the person in question, and the closer the circles are together, the more attached the person in question is to those they trust and love.

 **Diamonds -** Determination and Passion. People with lot of diamonds tend to be dedicated and passionate about their goals and dreams as well as the people they love, but can at times become too focused and forget to take care of other needs. People with few or no diamonds tend to be more laid back and easygoing, but often need to be pushed to act and can come across as lazy if they don't find the encouragement they need to focus on their goals.

 **Feathers** **-** One of the Love Lines. Feathers indicate someone who prefers to show or give love via words.

 **Flowers** **-**  Indicate someone who prefers physical touch as a way of showing or giving affection. A Love Line.

 **Love Lines** **-** The signifiers of the way a person shows and/or likes to receive affection, usually spreading out from the heart line to the edge of your pinkie. If the ways someone like to show affection differs from how they like to receive it, the two differing marks will intertwine. It is possible, though rarer, to have multiple ways of showing and receiving love two will be intermittently woven together.

 **Platonics** \- People whose soulmate is a friend or family member rather than a romantic partner. Make up about 30% of all soulmates.

 **Pull** \- The tie that allows bonded soulmates to sense each other at any time, though the exact distance the pull can extend is still unknown to scientists. 

 **Romantic** \- People whose soulmate is a romantic partner rather than a friend or family member. Make up 70% of all soulmates.

 **Triangles** \- Symbolize loyalty. People with more triangles tend to be devoted and protective of those closest to them, often putting their needs above all else. People with fewer triangles are often either self-focused or focused on more generalized altruism. Despite some societal judgments, people with fewer triangles do not love fiercely nor are they more likely to cheat or be selfish. In fact, depending on the other traits that make up their personality, those with many triangles can come actually come off as more selfish, hyper-focusing on what they're loyal to over the greater good even when the latter is normally deeply important to them.

 **Squares** **-** Stability. People with a lot of squares tend to be good planners and remain calm in the face of danger, but can sometimes be too cautious or too cold in the face of strong emotions. People with few or no squares are often emotionally reactive and impulsive, but have strong instincts and moral views that help guide them through difficult situations.

 **Stars -** Everyone has five at the point where their thumb meets their palm. Their size indicate the level of the outgoingness or shyness of a person, with smaller stars indicating shyness and larger stars indicating outgoingness.

 **Straight Lines** **-** These lines indicate how logical and practical a person is versus how emotional and sensitive they are. The more straight lines someone one has, the more logical and practical they are in how they view the world. This quality makes them good planners and leaders, but can sometimes cause them to not understand those who are more emotional or sensitive. This does not indicate that they lack empathy or sympathy, however, as their own emotional control can at times allow them to better remove themselves and focus on the feelings or reactions of others.

 **Tree -** A Love Line that indicates someone shows and/or gives affection through doing things for other people.  

 **Wavy Lines -** These lines signify how emotional and sensitive a person is in their world view. People with lots of wavy lines tend to feel and experience emotions very strongly, and see and understand the world through their emotions. They often struggle with situations that call for logic or pragmatism, often going too far or justifying their emotional responses as logical. These lines do not necessarily indicate that they will be more empathetic than average, as their own strong emotions may blind them to the feelings of others.

 


	2. Souls Taking Shape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: Keith's experience with foster care is specific to him and not meant to representative of foster care on the whole.

Lance sat on the beach, toes digging into the sand as he thumbed through the pages of his Soul Guide with careful reverence. He’d gotten it for his birthday after begging his family, wanting to memorize for himself what his soulmark meant. Lance skimmed a finger over the wavy lines on his wrist, glancing down at the book.

_Wavy lines indicate a sensitive person. People with lots of these lines use their feelings over their thoughts. Straight lines indicate a practical person. They use their thoughts over their feelings._

Lance didn't have any straight lines. That meant his soulmate was one of the most sensitive people in the world! He was probably going to turn out to be a genius poet or an animal rescuer or something like that. Lance would have to protect them like Phillip protected Sleeping Beauty. Her mark was all waves too, and she was really naive and trusting. His soulmate would be too -

“Lance sweetheart, come up here with the rest of us,” Lance’s mom called from where she sat under the umbrella with his sisters.

“I’m learning about my soulmate,” Lance called back, pouting a little even as be got up from his place by the water, shaking the sands off his legs as he inched towards the towel.

“You're only eight, you won’t meet them for decades,” Lance's older sister Jessica said and dismissed his complaint with a wave of her hand, her long dark hair brushing against her shoulders as she pressed a plastic shovel in Lance's hands. “Besides they’ll love you right away even if you don't study them. Everyone does.”

Lance grinned at his sister’s comforting words, digging a small hole near the edge of her haphazard castle to make a moat. Lance knew she was right, but he also knew he'd be reading his book again in a few minutes. He wanted to love his soulmate as much as his soulmate would love him when they met.

* * *

“Tell me about the squares,” Keith whispered excitedly as he sat on his knees in front of his dad. His dad shook his head a little, smile gentle as he put his computer aside. He was taking forever! “And the triangles!”

“The squares mean that your soulmate is going to have some stability. That's why they're half and half with the diamonds,” his dad explained calmly as Keith bounced a little on the bed. “They're going to know when to be passionate and when to be calm.”

“What about the triangles?” Keith reminds him with a small smile as he looked up at his dad thoughtfully. “What do they mean?”

“That your soulmate is loyal, and going by how many you have, they're going to be the most loyal person there is,” His dad told him, ruffling his hair a little.

Keith cocked his head, biting his lip to hold back the yawn that was threatening to slip out. “What about the stars near my thumb?”

“How about you go to bed and we’ll talk about them in the morning?” Keith’s dad answered with a gentle smile before scooping his son up and carrying him to his room, pressing a small kiss to his forehead.

The next morning Keith’s dad was gone. When he asked the lady at the group home what the stars on his palm meant, she told him to read a book.

* * *

Lance was 11 when he first realized he was second best, and that maybe he has _always_ been second best. In school, on his baseball team, at swimming. He can't stand it. Lance started studying hours on end, until he can barely see straight. His mind was full of equations and facts about presidents he wouldn't probably ever use in his real life.

And he was still the second best student in his class. Lance cried until his throat was too sore to talk, his mother wrapping him up in her arms and murmuring about him putting too much pressure on himself. That he was her perfect little boy.

But Lance knew he wasn't perfect. Not when there was always someone smarter, faster, stronger, and funnier in each class. Not when his sisters were all getting awards for their English compositions and soccer teams and Lance always came home empty handed (he never told them that it hurt). Lance wasn't perfect, he wasn't the best. He wasn't special. And sometimes, staring at the mark on his palm, Lance wondered if his soulmate would agree.

* * *

Keith made it two months with his first foster family, almost to his ninth birthday. Keith asked why he had to go, voice shaky. His foster parents are cold and distant, nothing like his father, but it was still a place to call his home. And they tell him it wasn't a good fit, but he heard the whispers when they think he was asleep in his new bed for the last time. He cried too much. He was too sad.

Keith wondered if that meant his soulmate's mark had a lot of wavy lines.

He went back to a group home after that, one where the kids are older than him and bitter. They left him alone most of the time, but sometimes they pushed him or teased him until he cried, peels of laughter ringing cruelly in Keith’s ears. They told him they were doing it make him stronger, that he would thank them someday. Keith doubted it. His second foster home, Keith made it a year. It was worse than the first. The house was nothing like the one he shared with dad, voices always raised and laughter nowhere to be found even on the best days. Keith spent most of the time there hiding in the woods and hoping they wouldn't find him, but someone always would.

Keith came back from that foster home with bruises on his heart and a sadness that was overwhelming. But he didn't cry anymore. Instead he snapped, words coming out in shouts and insults until no one would come near him. Keith wondered if his soulmate would prefer it to the tears.

* * *

“They might not be a sad eyed poet, you know,” Lance’s sister Heather said to him when Lance was fourteen and forcing himself to read Keats to better understand his soulmate. Lance glanced up at her, biting his lip as she shrugged at him, gaze encouraging him to ask her what she meant. She'd been insufferable ever since she went to college.

“Okay, I'll bite, what do you mean they won't be a sad eyed poet?” Lance asked with a small snort, holding his palm up in her face That would show her. “Look at all these waves, Heather. The only other people with that no straight lines were almost all romantics.”

“Almost all, but not entirely, and not every person whose soulmark has waves expresses their sensitivity through words or even as sadness. They may hold that inside and only express other emotions,” Heather explained, probably quoting her textbook. She took one class on soul dynamics and she thought she was an expert.

“So? They'll be happy all the time, how difficult for me,” Lance snorted as he dropped the book to the side. He pictured a bright smile and sparkling dark eyes and can't stop himself from grinning. Heather hits him in the chest with a pillow. “What?”

“It might not be happiness either. It might be anger or avoidance,” Heather warned him, her voice steady as she glanced down at him with a worried gaze. “Different experiences make people express their emotions differently. If he really is that sensitive and his life hasn't been as lucky as ours, you might have to work through a few defense mechanisms.”

Lance smiled at her softly, shaking his head a little at her warnings. Heather had always been a bit too cynical, always thinking about the worst possible case scenarios. But she hadn't even hit on the issue here.

Lance could deal with pushing past a grumpy exterior to find the sensitive inside of his soulmate, as long as they wanted him. Lance just didn't know what he’d do if they didn't think he was good enough either, and he didn't think they'd covered Lance’s insecurities in Heather’s class yet.

* * *

Keith was considered a lost cause by the time he was fourteen, one that frustrated everyone around him. He was smart, at the top of his class, and talented at everything that needed his hands and agility. His teachers insisted he could be a star pupil and athlete. Keith preferred to cut class to hang out in the woods or at the arcade. There he had the most fateful meeting of his life when a young man with dark hair and a kind gaze came between him and Mortal Kombat. “Are you Keith Kim? Your principal said you might be here instead of in Geometry.”

“And you are?” Keith snarled, expecting another truancy officer, though this guy looked all of nineteen.

“I’m Takashi Shirogane from the Galaxy Garrison,” He answered with a gentle smile that reminded Keith of his father. He knew then and there he'd follow Shiro anywhere, so Keith started packing.

Life at the Garrison was both the same and different for Keith as life at public school. He was still lonely and isolated for the most part, too shy to reach out to any of his (mostly older) classmates, and too intense in his expressions for anyone but Shiro to approach him. But his instructors told him he was brilliant; the best pilot in his age group and maybe at the Garrison.

Their smiles were colder than Shiro’s or his dad's, and they looked at him more like a gun than a boy. But being an object was still more than being nothing.

And then there was Shiro. Shiro treated him like a friend. He sparred with Keith, made sure he was eating enough, and asked after his classes and training. Being around him was like being around the sun, and Keith was sure if someone could be his soulmate, if someone could love him, it would be Shiro. They’d be platonics, brothers in arms -

“I'm going to help teach your piloting class Friday, Keith. They’re finally letting me see your potential after having me study you for that purpose,” Shiro said one day and broke Keith's heart. Potential. Right. Keith was here to be a weapon, not a person. He didn't hear anything else Shiro said after that.

And Keith knew then that if Shiro, who was the only one who smiled at him like his he wasn't something to be scared of, couldn't be his soulmate (and he didn't match his mark, not where it counted), that whoever was had been stuck with a _mistake_. Whatever Keith could've offered them once died somewhere between when he was nine and now. Keith needed to protect them from himself.

Keith came to class Friday with black fingerless gloves and ignores the subtle stares. He knew what he needed to do.

* * *

Lance was nineteen and in space and his rival was staring at him with an expression that Lance would call adorable if he wasn't such a jerk.

Keith was eighteen and nine months and transfixed by wavy lines and too many triangles for reasons he couldn't explain and didn't like _at all_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Shiro seems surprisingly cold toward the end, remember Keith's perspective in this moment is not necessarily accurate to what Shiro was trying to convey to him.
> 
> Also, I promise after this the chapters will be longer!


	3. Miscommunication and Misunderstandings

Lance didn’t give Keith’s stupid gloves a second thought until Keith kept them on to go swimming, arms crossing defensively when Lance stared at them (well maybe, Keith usually stood like that because Keith was an insufferable asshole). Lance pulled his gaze away when Keith looked away suddenly, mouth twisting downward and gaze heavier than Lance had ever seen it before. Keith’s expression faded back to its usual emotionless mask before Lance could get up the courage to ask Keith why he looked so upset.

Lance couldn’t shake it, that momentary hurt staying with Lance more than anything else that happened that day. Which given that he climbed a wall back to back with Keith and fought the Galra in a bathing suit, was saying a  _ lot _ . Keith never showed emotion like that. Well, correction. Keith tried not to show any emotion, but Lance could rile him up, pull the grumpiness and annoyance out of him until Keith almost seemed like a real person. It was the only evidence Lance had that their rivalry meant something to Keith too, and he clung to it desperately. 

But hurt and vulnerability, those were emotions Keith didn’t show, at least not to Lance. Especially not over something as minor as his fingerless gloves. Maybe Keith had freckles he didn’t like? Hand acne? Something worse, something that hurt more, like scars, and the thought made Lance frown, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. Maybe he didn’t like his soulmark or –

Maybe Keith didn’t have one. It was rare not to, almost impossible. Less than one percent of the population were born with soulmarks, and as far as Lance knew, scientists had yet to be figure out what it meant or why. But Keith had always been special.

Lance couldn’t just go and ask Keith, as that was socially unforgivable. Keith was annoying, but he didn’t deserve to be publicly shamed for something he couldn’t help. He could ask Shiro, but that was probably even more inappropriate. Plus Shiro definitely wouldn’t tell him anything about Keith. They had some kind of space bro bond they refused to let anyone else enter.

So Lance only had one option: digging. 

“It’s crazy that Allura would be put to sleep for 10,000 years just so destiny could bring her and Shiro together, huh?” Lance asked as he dropped onto to the couch next to Keith, spreading out luxuriously. Keith glanced up from where he sat, blinking owlishly.

“What are you talking about?” Keith asked, and while his sounded irritated, he had the same wide-eyed, confused expression he’d worn when Lance tried to teach him basic cheers. Lance took that as a good sign. “Allura was ‘asleep’ because of Zarkon. She and Coran were  -“

“I know that’s the literal reason, Keith, I’m not as much of an idiot as you think,” Lance cut him off, huffing a little when Keith rolled his eyes. “What I mean is that clearly part of the reason Allura woke up when she did, why we all ended up in space is so she and Shiro could meet. It’s pretty romantic.”

Keith stared at him blankly for a moment, before frowning a little and scrunching his eyebrows. It was a look Lance had become very familiar with in the past few months. “You think this happened because Allura and Shiro are soulmates? Seriously?”

“Oh like you have room to talk, Mister ‘We’re all connected because of stardust’,” Lance snapped, crossing his arms and glaring a little at Keith. Keith had the good grace to be contrite, flushed a little at the words, cheeks turning a light pink and gaze dropping to his lap so Lance could see the fluttering of his stupidly long eyelashes. “At least mine has science behind it.”

“Hey, so did mine. Didn’t you listen to the Olkari at all? “ Keith huffed, crossing his arms as he leaned toward Lance to give him a pointed look. His cheeks were still faintly pink, though. “Besides, all we know about soulmates is that their connected.”

“You don’t think the fact I have this person’s personality on my hand means something?” Lance asked incredulously, holding his palm up in Keith’s face. Keith stared at his mark, gaze narrowing a little as he bit his lip. It felt like he was trying to memorize the shapes and lines, and Lance felt more exposed than he would’ve liked. “Or the tug you feel afterwards?”

“Not really,” Keith muttered, glancing down at his gloves, some of that same vulnerability Lance saw before back in Keith’s eyes. Oh god, he’d been right and he was making Keith feel bad – “After all, 20% of soulmates marriages still end in separation or divorce.”

Or Keith was even more cynical than Lance ever imagined. That seemed like a real possibility after that comment. “Yeah, but that doesn’t because soulmates aren’t destined for each other, just because some people messed up.”

“It might not be messing up,” Keith insisted, shrugging a little, glancing down at Lance’s hand and then away again. “Soulmarks might just be a fluke, or they might be for some people.”

“I mean, maybe, but don’t you think that’s kind of a harsh way of looking at it?” Lance asked with a soft smile, holding his hand up again but this time with his palm facing him. Keith craned his neck to look too, expression (okay Lance would admit it, adorably) confused again. “Look at this person. Loads of triangles and intertwined flowers, so I know they’re going to be super devoted to the people they care about. How could knowing that ahead of time not be a good thing?”

“Because you don’t know them,” Keith huffed, pulling his gaze away, a hint of annoyance in his voice again. He didn’t seem jealous, but he did seem cagey, body stiffer than it had been a second ago. Lance had maybe pushed a little too far. “People just shake hands and decide to spend their lives together. It makes no sense.”

“Maybe not, but that’s what makes it romantic,” Lance said with a light shrug, grinning brightly to try and lessen the slight tension in the room. To his surprise, it seemed to work, Keith’s shoulders relaxing a little even as he abruptly stood up. 

“You keep thinking that,” Keith murmured, tone unreadable as he walked out of the room without so much as a goodbye. Typical Keith. But, Lance thought back to the vulnerability in Keith’s gaze, his rejection of soulmates as meaning anything. It all added up. Keith was definitely markless.

* * *

Keith froze as he entered the deck, seeing the light brown of Lance’s jacket as he swung his arms in the air excitedly, not seeming to care Pidge’s attention was entirely on her tablet. The words “soulmate” and “Hunk” carried across the room, and Keith wondered if he should just turn around and leave. He and Lance hadn’t been fighting lately, but Keith had been more and more on edge since going to the swap meet and he didn’t know if he could talk to anyone right now without exploding. His knife weighed him down too much.

So he was even more frustrated when Pidge slid out the room, waving goodbye to both of them without a word. Keith blinked a little, hands clenching reflexively as he glanced over at Lance. He had no idea if he should leave too. Lance seemed equally confused, looking at him with something Keith would’ve thought was worry if he didn’t know Lance didn’t like him. “Hey Keith, you look exhausted.”

“What?” Keith asked with a low sigh as he walked over to Lance’s side, leaving only a few inches between them as he glanced out the window. The stars seemed dimmer than normal, as though the connection between them all grew weaker the closer they got to the blade. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Lance asked, cocking his head a little bit and frowning. He was more perceptive than anyone gave him credit for, and that was the exact opposite of what Keith needed right now. He should probably just leave, but Lance hated him enough as it was, so Keith decided to just refocus the conversation.

“Yeah, what were you and Pidge talking about?” Keith asked, glancing up at Lance through his eyelashes. Lance’s cheeks reddened a little, frown deepening as he stared down at Keith (Keith couldn’t believe Lance was having a growth spurt when he was almost twenty and Keith still had lifts in shoes. The audacity). Keith worried he’d asked about something embarrassing without intending to, because somehow Keith always knew exactly the right thing to say to push everyone away.

“How great my soulmate is going to be,” Lance said with a wide grin, the flush on his cheeks fading as his gaze grew distant and dreamy, like he was staring into a future Keith couldn’t even comprehend. Keith was relieved and jealous all at once. “See, those entwined roses right there? That means my soulmate is going to be ridiculously cuddly. Like, just all over me all the time, but who could blame them.”

“Or they’ll be really clingy,” Keith muttered, shaking his head a little at the thought. He liked hugs when they came from someone he trusted, but the idea of having someone hanging onto his arm or pressing their chin on his shoulder or wanting to hold hands all the time sounded ridiculous to Keith. He couldn’t imagine anyone would want that – except Lance clearly did, going by the hurt look in his gaze and the way he’d balled his hands into fists. “Sorry, never mind.”

“No, sorry I’m excited about my soulmate Keith, just because you don’t have one doesn’t mean I can’t be happy about mine,” Lance snapped at him, gaze hot. He threw his arms up in the air and made a series of offended dramatic gestures, jacket nearly smacking Keith in the face. It would be funny if Keith didn’t suddenly feel sick to his stomach.

“What?” Keith asked, stomach dropping as he took in Lance’s words. He couldn’t mean what Keith thought he did. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh c’mon Keith, do you think no one would guess why you wear gloves all the time?” Lance asked with a sneer, glancing down pointedly at the black gloves on Keith’s hands. It wasn’t the first someone looked at them with suspicion, it happened all the time at the Garrison. It was just the first time it had hurt. “It’s because your hand is blank, because destiny wouldn’t have stuck anyone with a hot headed jerk like you!”

“Oh,” Keith murmured, gaze dropping to the floor as he felt a sudden burning behind his eyes, one he hadn’t felt in years. Keith knew what people thought about people without marks. Soulless.  _ Demons _ .  

The burning only intensified as Keith got up the courage to glance back up at Lance, whose anger was starting to fade into something like sympathy. No. Pity. “Keith, I’m –“

“Well at least I’m not stuck with a terrible soulmate,” Keith spat out, wiping at his eyes quickly. Lance looked almost piteous again despite Keith’s words, but the shock of them hits Lance before he can say anything kind. Good. Keith refused to be vulnerable. Not again. Not when he’d learned to transform hurt into rage, that it was the only sure way to protect yourself from having your heart torn asunder. It was better this way. 

“Excuse me?” Lance asked back slowly, voice surprisingly even, though his gaze had become unbearably cold. It was almost clinical. It wasn’t friendly, but it was a way out, a way for Keith to take it back and then let Lance give an apology he didn’t mean about thinking Keith didn’t have a soul. 

But Keith had never deescalated a situation with Lance when he had the chance to escalate it. 

“Look at your hand, Lance. Your lines are all wavy! They’re completely driven by their emotions! Your stars are tiny and you only have a few circles that are practically overlapping, which means they’re shy and introverted which will be terrible for you since you love being the center of attention and they probably don’t have any friends, and like I said before, those intertwined flowers combined with all those triangles means they’ll be clingy and possessive and probably really jealous. And you have an  _ entire _ row of diamonds with no squares, which means they’re some hotheaded idiot who hyperfocuses and . . .” Keith trailed off, the words dying on his throat as the ones he’d already said slapped him in the face. He needed to get out of here.

“And what Keith?” Lance shouted, hands flailing a little. The glare he gave Keith was still icy in a way that made Keith’s eyes start to burn again, though that was more from the hint of concern that was also there, like he thought something was wrong with Keith. Keith couldn’t really disagree right now. 

“Nothing, I’m sorry,” Keith finally muttered, not looking up at Lance as he broke out into a full sprint. It was just as cowardly as Lance had accused of him being three months ago, but Keith couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

“You don’t just get to apologize and run!” Lance yelled after him, but no footsteps followed, there was no chase. Keith refused to let himself be disappointed by that. He slowed down as he got to his door, shaking a little as he took a few deep breaths. That was when he heard footsteps. He glanced up to find Shiro staring at him, eyebrows scrunched.

“Keith? Are you okay?” Shiro asked softly, and his gaze is kind in that way Keith once thought was just for him, but now knew was for everyone. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Keith insisted, relieved that his voice didn’t crack on the words. Shiro gave him a look that said he didn’t believe him, shaking his head a little as he glanced down at Keith. “I just need some sleep.”

“Okay, but you need to take care of yourself, Keith, the entire team depends on you being in good shape and keeping your cool,” Shiro reminded him. Shiro pat him on the shoulder, Keith not being able to stop himself from leaning toward the small touch even as the words sent another icy chill down his spine. Right, Shiro didn’t see him as the brother Keith saw Shiro as, and that was fine, that made sense. Keith was a pilot first, after all. 

He just really wanted Shiro to see him as a person right now.

Shiro let go and walked away without another glance back, not pushing Keith about how he really felt. Keith practically bolted into his bedroom when Shiro turned the corner, collapsing on his bed and letting the heaving breaths from before overwhelm him again. 

“It’s me,” Keith whispered, and the burning in his eyes finally won out as two tears gently trickled down his face. Lance’s soulmark described him. Lance, Lance who  _ hated _ him. At least it wouldn’t be hard to protect Lance from him; Keith couldn’t imagine he’d try to shake his hand any time soon.

* * *

So here was the thing: Lance is from sunny California, and besides summers in Cuba visiting his aunt and uncle, his family had never done a lot of traveling. So it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know people in the south  _ still _ said that people born without soulmarks didn’t have souls until Hunk mentioned it. Or that he didn’t know Keith grew up in the south before Keith angrily pointed that out when Hunk asked what part of the Blade he thought he was from (which yeah, kind of rude, Hunk).

“Keith! Can I talk to you for a second?” Lance called as the others started to back inside the ship, Keith freezing next to him and looking a little confused and maybe just a touch nervous. Lance couldn’t say that he didn’t feel a little smug about that; Keith was far from innocent in their last fight after all. 

“Ah, what’s up?” Keith asked, tone surprisingly measured as he glanced over at Lance, giving him a small, awkward smile before ducking his head. Embarrassed and guilty Keith was  _ adorable _ . Lance was tempted to rub it in just to see a little more of contrite Keith in action, but Lance reminded himself that he came to apologize, not to bait Keith (even if it was the most fun thing to do as long as Keith only got grumpy and not genuinely angry).

“Look, I’m sorry for saying you didn’t have a soulmate. I know the implications of that and I don’t think you’re – hey! It's probably just because you’re part Galra,” Lance rambled excitedly, cutting himself off as the revelation hit him. “You should ask the Blade about soulmates. Maybe you don’t get your tail until you meet yours or something.”

“Yeah. Maybe,” Keith murmured, glancing around awkwardly and anywhere but at Lance, that same sadness back in his eyes. He still thought he didn’t have a soulmate.  Lance started to turn around, respecting Keith’s need to brood in peace. “Lance, wait.”

“Keith?” Lance said as he turned around, cocking one eyebrow in surprise as Keith looked up at him nervously. His expression was bordering on a pout, and Keith was going to have to ask Hunk what happened to Keith in that Weblum. Or actually maybe he needed to ask Shiro about the Blade, since Keith had been acting skittish around Lance ever since their fight about soulmates  _ that _ morning.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have insulted your soulmate. I was mad and I – I overreacted. I just, I think you deserve to be with someone really great,” Keith spluttered, apparently deciding the concrete floor was more interesting than Lance’s face while he spoke, only looking up at him when he finished. His expression stunned Lance. It was completely open instead of Keith’s usual guarded look or the annoyed expression he saved just for Lance, Keith’s eyes soft and smile shy as he looked up at him. 

“You think I deserve to be with someone great?” Lance asked, not quite able to keep the surprise out of his voice. He’d been feeling low, their latest mission reminding him he didn’t truly no his place on the team anymore than he knew his place at the Garrison or anywhere. And Keith was a better pilot than anyone at the Garrison (instructors included) and second only to Shiro in hand-to-hand combat. Keith had never known the kind of doubt Lance felt every day, the sense of not being good enough for anything, and yet Keith still thought he deserved someone great?

“I mean, you can be annoying but you’re a good guy. You’re smart, honest, funny and . . . you’re a good friend,” Keith answered as he looked at Lance nervously, biting his lip for a moment as though trying to think of something to add, as though Lance wasn’t already on cloud nine by having Keith of all people compliment him. You’re a lot better at coming up with plans than I am, and you have great aim.”

“Wow, thanks Keith,” Lance answered, not able to stop the wide grin that came over his face at Keith’s words. After months (well years, but Keith didn’t remember those apparently) of wanting Keith to acknowledge that they were rivals, that Lance was  _ good enough _ , it was actually kind of happening. But Lance still needed to correct Keith on one thing. “But for the record, my soulmate is great. Just you wait until you meet them, then you’ll have to eat your words.”

“I hope whomever you end up with is,” Keith said after a beat, smile still there but a little stiffer than it had been a moment before. Lance let out a small sigh but nodded, figuring that was the best he could hope for from Keith as long as he was still bitter about his own possible lack of one. Lance couldn’t imagine growing up thinking that he didn’t have a soulmate, of thinking that he wouldn’t someday find somewhere he belonged. “I’m going to stay out here a little longer.”

Lance gave him a thumbs up before slipping through the door and walking over to Pidge and Hunk with a grin. He was relieved he and Keith had finally come to an understanding before the fight with Zarkon. Now there wouldn’t be any tension at the victory party.

* * *

There was no party, it turned out. Shiro was gone. Not dead, the mark on Allura’s hand was as bright and slightly raised as ever, the lines not fading away and skin not flattening out when someone died. Lance hoped it was a small comfort as he watched Allura press her face into Coran’s chest, shaking as she watched someone else she loved vanish. No one deserved that much loss in one lifetime.

Speaking of loss, Keith had gone frighteningly still, hands brushing over Shiro’s seat as he stared blankly at the wall in front of him. Then he stood up and walked away, Hunk glancing at him worriedly from where he was cradling Pidge in his arms. “I’ll go talk to him.”

Hunk and Coran both nodded, busy with their own heartbreak and their own comfort. Lance had no idea what he could say or do to help Keith, what someone like him could possibly need right now, and no ideas were coming to him as he walked down the hallway. 

Lance stopped in front of Keith’s door, which Keith had left wide open. It wasn’t like Keith. Lance glanced into the room and froze. Lance understood the angry tears and grunts of frustration mixed with pain, the way Keith looked ready to burn the world to the ground but also to curl up in a ball and cry. All of that made sense, even if he’d never seen Keith deal with a loss before (didn’t know if Keith had lost anyone before now, he really didn’t know much about Keith at all).

No, what made Lance unable to act was that Keith’s uniform gloves had been tossed to the floor. The intricate raised lines of his soulmark staring Lance in the face, straight and wavy lines and diamonds and squares mocking him for having ever doubted their existence. 

As Lance silently moved away from the door, he realized then he might not know Keith at all.


	4. The Black Lion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently it was confirmed Lance's last name was McClain at some point? But for the purposes of this story, it is is Ramírez.

Keith walked back into the bay, staring down the Black Lion and trying not to let how terrified he felt show on the outside. Shiro thought he had the qualities necessary to lead. Keith didn’t really agree, but Shiro believed in him and Keith needed to find Shiro. That was his first priority. Keith though, he didn’t expect the others to want him to lead. He wouldn’t want himself as a leader, let alone someone like Allura who actually had diplomacy skills or Hunk, who was capable of being friendly, and Lance . . .

Lance who was his soulmate and currently staring at him in a way that made Keith’s skin crawl. At least keeping his soulmate from ever realizing was going to be easier than Keith could have ever hoped. Lance could barely look at him without finding a new flaw to point out and insult. Selfish. Impulsive. Hotheaded. Violent. They weren’t wrong and it wasn’t like Lance was the first person to point them out, but replaying them in his head now that he knew the obnoxious, quiet pull he felt toward Lance might be a soulbond made them sting that much more.

They were the things that Keith knew meant he couldn’t be a good leader, the things that made him decide to put those gloves on all these years ago and never look back. Keith decided he didn’t deserve, didn’t _need_ a soulmate. It was unfair to be hurt that Lance agreed (even if he didn’t know it).

“Hey, Keith, are you okay? You look kind of sick,” Hunk called out, giving him a sympathetic smile from where he and Pidge sat in front of Green, her typing away furiously at her computer. Coordinates, he hoped. They were out of uniform, and Keith wondered how long he’d been in his room. He glanced back at Lance and realized he’d changed as well, a space juice being squeezed tightly in the palm of his hand. It felt like a few minutes, but from the look of them it could have been more like hours. Keith blinked, shaking his head, bangs falling into his eyes and blurring his vision. It didn’t matter. Finding Shiro and Voltron, those were the only things that mattered.

“I’m fine,” Keith insisted, glancing over at them with a tight frown. Pidge didn’t glance up from her work, but Hunk gave him a worried frown, shaking his head a little in disbelief. One day of bonding and suddenly Hunk thought he knew how well Keith was holding up. Keith was always fine. He had to be. “I need to talk to everyone, where are Coran and Allura?”

“We’re right here, Keith,” Allura said, voice steady if heavy with a sorrow Keith shared in his bones. Keith turned around, blinking in surprise to find Allura and Coran off to the side. Allura’s hair was down for the first time in weeks, soft white tresses falling down her shoulders and expression heavy with grief. Coran had one arm around her shoulder, gazing at Keith with something akin to pity. Keith wanted to scream. Behind him, Red made a mournful noise, turning her head toward him and gesturing fiercely.

Keith wanted nothing more than to climb inside of Red and to punch at the smooth metal walls of their cockpit until his fists bled and he could finally cry without having to feel bad about it, Red alternatively encouraging him to let the pain out and to not hurt himself. But they couldn’t do that anymore. He shook his head at Red, whose eyes glowed knowingly. Keith could feel her anger and sense of betrayal, but also her worry, her need for him to ignore Shiro and follow his, her, _their_ instincts. Him flying Black wasn’t right. He knew that in his bones.

But it’s what Shiro wanted.

“I’m sorry Red,” Keith murmured quietly, and he felt Lance’s eyes bore into him at his words. He shrugged, squaring his shoulders as he glanced up at the other man. Keith knew Lance wouldn’t take this news any better than Red, but the worry and love would be replaced with contempt that made Keith’s bones tired just thinking about it.  “Shiro . . . Shiro asked me to pilot the Black Lion if anything happened to him.”

“What?” Lance asked incredulously, crossing his arms and glaring as he took a few steps toward Keith. The others followed after a moment, expressions ranging in emotion. Allura looked heartbroken at the idea of someone besides Shiro at the helm, Coran looked looked dubious and suddenly all of his years, Pidge seemed a little betrayed but understanding, and Hunk looked worried as he took a step toward Keith. “Why would he pick _you_ to be the new team leader?”

“Look, I’m not saying it makes sense to me! Shiro thought I had potential or something. But it’s not up to me, it’s up to, you know, ” Keith snapped back, crossing his arms as he glared at Lance heatedly. The anger in voice died on the last word however, shrugging towards Black awkwardly and giving them a half smile that felt weird on his own face. “Black let me fly her once, when Shiro was injured and those lizard things were attacking us.  But it was only for five minutes so . . . it’s still worth a shot if Shiro believed in me.”

Going from the blank stares Keith was getting from everyone else, his social skills had not improved the moment leadership had been thrust upon him. It was Allura, with a small, tired smile, who finally laid a hand on his shoulder and spoke. “Keith, I understand that you want to honor Shiro’s wishes until we find him. Trust me, I do, maybe more than anyone. But given that we’re in no immediate danger, it might be better to wait to pick a new Black Paladin until we’re sure we’ll even need one. We _will_ find Shiro, hopefully sooner than later. You need rest.”

“It’s better to find out who the Black Lion is willing to let fly her, if any of us,” Keith snapped back, earning a testy look from Allura as she slowly pulled her hand back. Keith winced apologetically, shaking his head a little as everyone stared at him with an emotion Keith couldn’t place. People didn’t really aim it towards him, whatever it was. “And I’m fine.”

“Keith, you disappeared for two hours and now you’re three shades paler than normal and you’re shaking,” Hunk pointed out slowly, that emotion Keith didn’t recognize deepening as Hunk furrowed his brow. “You should lay down or get something to eat before you -”

“Hunk, I’ve been through things that were just as bad and come out just fine,” Keith said, growling a little as he pushed past the rest and continued his march toward the Black Lion. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. Keith just didn’t realize each new heartbreak would hurt as much as the first. He’d expected the trauma to become blunted over time, not deepen with each new abandonment or loss.

Keith tried to push past those thoughts as he arrived in front of the Black Lion, one hand brushing her cheek lightly. Keith felt her metallic voice in his head, but it was different this time, layered. Maybe Black was just trying to make herself heard over Red’s growling in the back of his mind.

After a moment Black opened up Keith staring at the cockpit with trepidation as he slowly climbed inside. The Lion closed its mouth a second later, and Keith couldn’t help the deep, panicked breaths he was taking.

_You don’t want this, Red Paladin._

_He was chosen._

Keith blinked as two voices spoke for Black, the first the one he’d heard the last time he’d piloted. The other was familiar but too metallic. Too distant for Keith to be able to place it. It didn’t matter. Convincing the Black Lion that he had what it took was what mattered. “I - I don’t want to be the leader, you’re right. But Shiro wanted me to be, he saw something -”

_Shiro was blinded by what the Garrison told him, by what they tried to make you, Red Paladin._

It was the first voice, Black’s true voice. Keith took another gasping breath at that, feeling like he’d been slapped in the face. He’d failed the Garrison _for_ Shiro, but the Keith Shiro believed in was the Garrison Keith. The one who obeyed orders and did everything perfectly. Not the real Keith, who was angry and impulsive and rejected, rejected -

_Do you see what those demands have done to him? Red’s cub is destroying himself to be the cub Shiro wants._

_Keith’s potential is real. He’s -_

_No one is denying the Red Paladin is gifted. But that does not mean he should or is able to lead Voltron. He is not Shiro._

“I can be Shiro,” Keith snapped, grabbing onto the seat with both arms, his voice sounding wild and far way to his own ears. The Black Lion stilled, the feeling in the back of his head suddenly growing heavy in a way Red never had been. The control panel seemed oddly dimmed as Keith pressed his hands against it haphazardly, as though afraid of what might Keith might do. “I can change. I -”

_Go back to The Red Lion, Paladin. That's where you belong._

It was the second voice, the one that had been defending him until that moment, now laced with guilt. Keith felt a chill go through him at the words in that familiar yet alien tone, shaking his head as he pressed down harder on the control panel. “No, no I need this. I need Shiro to know I didn’t let him down. If I let him down, that’s it for me. You have to understand -”

The Black Lion’s control panel went dark. The cockpit opened at an unbearably slow pace, and Keith felt numb as he walked out. Rejected again. What would Shiro think when they found him? If they found him. Keith tried to push the thought away as he shakily walked by the others, trying not to make eye contact with any of them. He couldn’t bear the pity or knowing looks. They weren’t what he needed right now.

Keith needed to know what he had left. He marched over to Red, shaking slightly as he pressed his face against her cold metal, heart growing heavy at the silence that followed. He didn’t deserve her, couldn’t stay with her if he was going to prove that Shiro hadn’t wasted his time on Keith at the Garrison, that Keith was as special as Shiro thought (even if was only as a soldier and not a little brother). Then just as he started to pull away, an angry roar broke out in his head.

_You’re too much for Black. Mine, you’ve always been mine. You don’t belong with any of the others._

“I know, I know,” Keith whispered against her skin, her eyes glowing victoriously even as he knew she could sense what his next words would be. “But I need to be Shiro for a bit.”

_You can’t be Black’s cub as you are now._

And Red meant it as a defiance and a statement of fact, that Keith belonged to her. But it still made Keith’s shoulders shake, mind going blank as he walked down the hall. Red was right. Keith couldn’t be the Black Lion’s Paladin unless he changed, became more like Shiro or more like whatever Shiro thought he saw in Keith.

Keith just didn’t remember how that decision left him holding a pair of scissors in his bedroom, not able to face himself in the mirror.

* * *

Lance didn’t know why he decided to follow Keith after the Black Lion refused him. Keith looked like he wanted to be alone. But then when didn’t Keith? Maybe they let him leave too easily. Maybe he needed to be pushed sometimes when he was angry, to get to what was going on underneath since he’d looked like he wanted to die just approaching Black, let alone whatever happened when he was in the cockpit. Or maybe Lance had just been rejected enough times himself to know how much it had to hurt, especially if you were someone like Keith, who always got picked first but was too afraid to show his soulmark at the same time.

Lance expected to find Keith in that same broken rage he’d been in when Shiro first disappeared, ready to burn the world and himself down with it. He couldn’t have predicted what he saw instead. It was a sight that would haunt him for years to come, the horror of it making him touch his own face in muted sympathy for Keith, even if Keith never comprehended how close he went to the edge.

Because before him stood Keith, one shaking hand holding a pair of scissors. Half of his mullet was gone, uneven ends brushing against his neck. Lance watched as small clumps of black hair hit the floor with a gentle thud. He didn’t know what came over him, but in a few quick steps, he’d grabbed Keith’s hand and pried the scissors free. “You’re not even going to put up a fight?”

“You’re stronger than me,” Keith said back, voice lacking any emotion as he stared blankly at Lance. This was actually worse than Keith trying to burn the world down.

“Right, but that doesn’t usually stop you from showing off how you’re a better fighter than me,” Lance answered as he stared at Keith, waiting for him to snap back into reality. When that didn’t happen after a few seconds, Lance let out a small sigh of defeat. “Wanna explain why you’re taking your . . . nothing actually, out on your hair?”

“I need to be more like Shiro,” Keith mumbled in the same dull voice, gazing past Lance as he pitifully lunged toward the scissors. Keith might be physically weaker than him (and Lance wished he could’ve found that out when he could brag instead of when Keith was having some kind of breakdown), but he was usually more agile. Something was wrong. “Then the Black Lion will accept me.”

“Yeah, don’t think it was your hair that was the problem, buddy,” Lance snorted, as he pushed Keith toward the chair in the corner of the room. “But it is now, and lucky for you, I grew up with enough siblings to know how to cut hair.”

“It’s fine,” Keith muttered, something approaching annoyance in his voice. Lance sighed in relief at it, some of the tension going out of his shoulders. That was a Keith he could handle. Emotionless Keith just felt achingly wrong in a way Lance couldn’t put into words.

“Sit down, Keith,” Lance said and after a moment Keith slid into the chair, staring blankly at the wall. Lance grinned encouragingly, carefully taking a small section (not a clump, seriously was Keith raised by animals?) and beginning to snip. He’d even it all out in the end, and maybe change up the front a bit too.

Lance looked down, surprised to see Keith had closed his eyes, body relaxing as Lance snipped away at the tattered remains of his mullet. Lance didn’t think Keith trusted him this much, trusted anyone this much outside of Shiro. The thought made him smile a little, taking extra care to even out the back, fingers lightly brushing against the soft skin of his neck as Lance cut off more and more hair. Lance stopped when the hair evenly brushed the middle of his neck, a bit longer than his or Shiro’s, but nowhere near the tragedy it had been before. “Do you mind if I make a few changes to the front too? Your bangs are ridiculously long, I don’t even know how you pilot Red.”

“Whatever it takes,” Keith murmured, not opening his eyes as Lance took a hold of the bang by his left ear. Lance trimmed it a little, but mostly moved over pieces forward to give it a messier look, before following suit with the one the right. The middle two bangs he sort of melded into one to set off the thicker side bangs, trimming it a little so it didn’t fall almost to Keith’s nose and so the locks were a little looser than before.

Lance blinked, glancing down at the hair that had been transformed from a mullet to a work of art, shaking his head a little at his own mastery. He grabbed the back of Keith’s chair, turning it toward the full-length mirrors Coran had kindly installed in the bedrooms (after Lance requested them, but that was a minor detail). “Open your eyes, Keith, and see the new you!”

“This doesn’t look anything like Shiro,” Keith muttered, eyebrows scrunching as he looked in the mirror, one hand coming to brush the messy black bangs that fell across his forehead.

“Well, sorry, Keith, last time I save you from your lack of impulse control,” Lance said with a scoff, rolling his eyes. Then Lance saw the way Keith stiffened at his words, hands dropping to his sides. Maybe now wasn’t the time to remind Keith of his flaws. “You have very different hair -”

“No, I like it,” Keith cut him off, giving him a weak half smile. Under less dire circumstances, Lance would’ve thought it was kind of cute. As it was, Lance was just relieved Keith was making expressions again, even it wasn’t one Lance had ever seen before. Keith ran his hands through his shorter hair, further mussing it up. “I just . . . I thought if I looked more like Shiro, Black might be more willing to accept me. I don’t . . . I don’t want to fail Shiro.”

Oh. That was what this was about, now everything suddenly made a lot more sense. Lance could actually be helpful here. He sat down carefully on Keith’s bed, leaning his elbows on his knees as he glanced over at the other boy. “Keith, Shiro isn’t going to be disappointed. I know he wanted you to lead us because he wants you to have everything, but he’s going to get that Red wouldn’t give you up.”

“Not what happened. Black rejected me,” Keith said, trying to sound annoyed even as his voice cracked on the word ‘reject’. He shook his head a little, gaze dropping and hands balling into fists. Lance stiffened a little, preparing for an explosion. “I let Shiro down. Again. That’s all I’ve been doing since we got to space.”

“Not like Shiro would care, you’re his favorite,” Lance pointed out with a shrug, not quite able to keep the resentment out of his voice. The confused look Keith gave him in return reminded him of a wild animal, gaze wary and lips twisted into a tight frown. He was a dick. “Oh my god, that was not the right thing to say -”

“I’m not his - Shiro likes me because I’m useful,” Keith answered slowly, staring at Lance like he’d grown a second head. Lance was sure the look he gave back mirrored it, because what was Keith talking about? Keith rolled his eyes, crossing his legs and folding in on himself a little in frustration. “You know, as a soldier?”

As a soldier. It took Lance a minute to process the words, but once he does he can’t help the open-mouthed stare he gave his friend. Lance took it back, he was in no way prepared to handle this. “ _Holy shit_ Keith, do you think Shiro only cares about you because of the mission?”

“Of course. Why else would he?” Keith asked, and for a second a small, hopeful part of Lance thought Keith was being sarcastic. But then he saw the genuine confusion in Keith’s gaze, the slight shaking of his fists against his knees.  

“Dude, Shiro adores you,” Lance said, leaning forward so Keith had to look him the eyes. Keith looked ready to bolt, disbelief warring with a tired hope in his expression. Lance couldn’t believe that Keith didn’t know how much Shiro favored him, loved him, when it bothered Lance to no end. He thought Keith took Shiro’s affection for granted. Now he had the sinking feeling something else was going on, something Lance wasn’t quite sure he was going to be able to understand. But Shiro wasn’t here, and Lance didn’t think Keith should be alone right now. “No, Keith listen to me, Shiro isn’t the best when it comes to interpersonal skills -”

“Shiro’s great at diplomacy,” Keith defended immediately, some of the heat coming back to his voice. He glared at Lance defiantly, ready to go to war for him even when Shiro was nowhere in sight. God, Keith gave _that_ much devotion thinking Shiro felt nothing in return.

“That’s not what I mean. Shiro is great at being a leader, but he’s not the best when it comes to emotions, and let’s be real, you have more than anyone,” Lance explained, trying to keep his voice level and calm. Only one of them got to be frustrated and hurt over Shiro (both his failings and his being gone) right now, and Lance realized it wasn’t him, even as this new information added to his frustration. There would be time to confront Keith (and hopefully Shiro) later. Right now he had to stop Keith from going over the edge.

“Thanks,” Keith muttered, gaze dropping from Lance’s eyes to his lap, fists only growing tighter and the knuckles paling before Lance’s eyes.

“Look, I’m actually not trying to insult you,” Lance said, this time letting his voice fall into the gentle rhythms his family used when someone was hurting. It made Keith look up in shock, blinking owlishly like no one had ever used that tone with him before. Lance wondered if Keith had been less adored than he thought. He was the Garrison’s golden boy, it had been easy to assume he’d been everyone else’s too. Maybe too easy.  “My point is that while it might not be clear to you, it’s clear to everyone else that you could do no wrong in Shiro’s eyes.”

“The lecture he gave me on the way to the Blade of Marmora says otherwise,” Keith answered back curtly, lips twisting into something like a frown, quavering a little. Keith looked more defeated than angry, as though Shiro disappearing again had broken something inside of him. Lance didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing in the long run.

“What lecture?” Lance asked instead, because he wasn’t close enough to Keith to bring up the obvious breakdown he was going through.

“The one where he reminded me that if I’m ever going to be a good leader,” Keith spat out, some of his usual vehemence coming back, though it wasn’t enough to hide the shaking of his voice or the way one hand came up to wipe furiously at his eyes. “That I have to stop being so hotheaded and impulsive and out of control, that I need to change and -”

“Woah, Keith, no one here wants you to change,” Lance cut him off, standing up suddenly. Lance didn’t know what was coming over him, but he placed his hands on Keith’s shoulders out to try and steady him. Keith tensed, and Lance half expected to find himself thrown across the room, but then something bizarre happened. Keith relaxed under his touch for a second, leaning forward until his face was almost brushing against Lance’s chest.

“Right. Name something about me besides my piloting skills that you like,” Keith snapped as he pulled back before standing up, lips twisted into a snarl, but gaze apologetic as though he’d done something wrong. Lance had really lost the plot here, and he was terrified, knew it showed in his shaking mouth and wide eyes. He only hoped Keith understood that it was _for_ him and not of him. “That’s what I thought.”

And nope, there had been no understanding. Keith stormed out of the room, his rage regained and the broken boy he’d been seconds before safely hidden once again. But Lance knew what he looked like now.

* * *

Keith realized, in the aftermath of Lance cutting his hair and him storming off to sit in Red for three straight hours and cry, that he might not be fine. Keith didn’t know how to deal with that though, other than by avoiding everyone else on the Castle except to ask if they were any closer to finding Shiro. They never were, and as the week went by, Allura’s and Pidge’s expressions grew less and less hopeful. And Keith couldn’t do anything to help. He couldn’t even pilot the Black Lion, who wouldn’t let him inside anymore after his first rejection. It was a small comfort that she didn’t let anyone in but Allura, but then, no one else had proven themselves a disappointment with Black’s rejection.

Keith hadn’t felt this helpless since he was fourteen and it set him off, too many emotions swirling in his head for him to concentrate on anything. So Keith sat in Red half the day and trained the rest, sleep and food forgotten in favor of trying to make his body more of a weapon. If he couldn’t be the team leader, he could at least be it’s sword.

And that’s what Keith was doing right now, dodging the gladiator as he knelt low to the ground, preparing to swipe the robot of its feet with a low kick -

“End training simulation!” Lance’s voice suddenly rang out, Keith glancing behind him to find Lance staring at him from across the room. Keith glared at him, crossing his arms even as he stayed in his kneeling position. “Are you sitting like that just to spite me?”

“Maybe. What are you doing in here, Lance?” Keith asked, scowling a little as he finally unrolled himself from his kneeling position to stand in front of Lance. Keith tried to look intimidating, crossing his arms tightly against his chest, but Keith knew the fluffy bangs falling across his face and the way Lance towered over with him without his boots didn’t help. He was never training barefoot again.

“Don’t know if you noticed, but you’ve been in here for three hours and Hunk is starting to be hurt when you don’t come to dinner,” Lance said, rolling his eyes a little as he took a step closer to Keith, smile a little forced. His gaze seemed heavy with worry. Keith scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, because Lance couldn’t be that worried over him. Lance didn’t like him. “You know he adds spices just for you, Boy Band.”

“You can’t insult this haircut when you gave me it,” Keith objected, one hand clutching at his bangs protectively. Lance grinned at that, cocking his head a little in a way that made Keith’s blood boil. Keith knew he was blushing, and it was wrong, he was letting Lance get too close. That wasn’t fair. “And I’m —”

“I swear I will carry you to the table if you say fine, Keith,” Lance cut him off, grin fading into a surprisingly stern look. Lance wasn’t joking and suddenly Keith regretted telling him he was stronger than Keith, no matter how obvious Keith had thought that was.

“I don’t know how to be around you right now, any of you,” Keith muttered, catching himself and adding the ‘any of you’ at the last second. It wasn’t a lie. Being around the other Paladins, with the long stretches of silence and the pitying looks reminded him of what he’d lost and how he’d failed. Keith felt like he was crawling out of his skin during those moments, pushing down the urge to run, but also the urge to let Hunk pull him into a tight hug. Keith had somehow, without warning, become weak. But it was worse around Lance. Now that he knew, or at least strongly suspected, Lance was his soulmate, Keith couldn’t help reacting to him and not just in anger. That would be easy. But he’d cried in front of Lance, fallen apart like a child. It was humiliating.

“Wait, why?” Lance asked, voice rising at the end. He bit his lip in confusion, one arm suddenly snaking around Keith’s shoulders gently. Keith felt himself lean into the touch before he could stop himself, internally wincing at the mixed messages he was sending if Lance ever found out about their marks. He pulled back, Lance letting go of him with a frown.

“I had a breakdown in front of you,” Keith said as though it were obvious, frowning a little when Lance looked like he wanted to laugh at Keith.

Then something strange happened. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders again, this time more firmly, as though trying to keep Keith in place. Keith frowned in annoyance, eyebrows scrunching, but he didn’t push Lance away this time. Keith didn’t have it in him. “Oh, yeah, that definitely did happen. But it’s cool, we all understand.”

“It’s cool?! What are you talking about?” Keith snapped, voice raising in disbelief, as his own hands crossed angrily, elbows bumping into Lance’s chest. Keith hoped it hurt.

“Calm down, Keith,” Lance muttered, pulling him a little closer than he had before, Keith catching himself leaning into Lance’s arms as Lance started slowly dragging him across the training floor in a half hug. Keith realized it would look like he was _clinging_ to Lance to someone on the outside and flushed bright red again. At least his other humiliation would keep Lance from catching on. “I mean that you found out you were half Galra, which has to be a pretty big shock even if it’s the Blade, and had your best friend vanish all within the space of a week. No one expects you to be okay except you.”

“I need to be okay,” Keith murmured, looking down so Lance couldn’t see his flush or the exhaustion in his gaze. Keith didn’t do vulnerable or weak. Finding out he was Galra, or that Lance was his soulmate, even Shiro going missing shouldn’t change that. He’d lived through hell plenty of times before and come out the other side stronger and angrier than ever. Keith didn’t understand what was different this time.

“What you need is to come to dinner and then relax with the rest of us while we watch _Hercules_ ,” Lance corrected with a gentle smile, squeezing his shoulder softly before finally letting go of Keith as they got to the door.

Oh. That. That’s what had changed. People like Lance and Hunk making him stop and rest and eat, instead of focusing all of his energy on his mission. They were ruining him. The Keith from a year ago survived alone in the desert for six months with barely any food. The Keith of now was breaking down after a week. “We need to find Shiro -”

“And you training yourself to death isn’t going to help us find him any faster. I know you have . . . issues there, but Shiro would want you to be healthy no matter what,” Lance said, smirking pointedly when Keith scowled back at him. Keith couldn’t deny that. Shiro had always been adding more food to his plate at the Garrison and telling him to go to sleep earlier, that a pilot’s well-being came before anything else, even training. The memories of those early days felt a lot like now, deceptively and dangerously warm and inviting.

“I, okay, but I’m not singing along,” Keith muttered with a sigh, following a crowing Lance out the training facility and trying to keep a safe distance between them. Keith needed to remind himself that Lance, sunny, kindhearted Lance who took care of people he didn’t even like, deserved better.

* * *

Lance sat in the kitchen, carefully trying to angle his body over his drawing in case Keith burst into the room. It was unlikely, since they pretty much had to force popcorn onto Keith last night during _Hercules_ (during which he mouthed along to the entirety of 'I Can go The Distance', Lance might add) and Hunk generally dragged him to the table. Still, Lance needed to be careful when he was technically betraying Keith’s trust, even if he was doing it for Keith’s own good. And out of a curiosity that had been haunting him for days, but that was a minor detail.

Lance had sketched out Keith’s soulmark, trying to find something in it that would make it so objectionable that Keith had to hide it from the world. In the center was 20 dots pressed close together, indicating that Keith’s soulmate was extroverted but also devoted to the people closest to him. Moving out, there were more waves than straight lines, but only by a slight margin. Those lines were surrounded by a row of triangles, showing that Keith’s soulmate was loyal. After that was a row of diamonds and squares, perfectly matched. By his thumb were five large stars, indicating someone outgoing and probably a little loud. Then, branching out by his pinkie were feathers and flowers on either side, showing that Keith’s soulmate showed and liked to receive affection by both word and action.

Lance couldn’t see what Keith hated about it so much. There were flaws of course; Keith was quieter and more emotional than this person, shy to their outgoing, but they’d probably make Keith leave his room more often and that could only be good for him. Maybe Keith was afraid he’d say the wrong thing and offend them? He wasn’t always the most tactful . . .

“You met your soulmate and didn’t even tell me?” Hunk shouted, almost causing Lance to topple over from where Keith was leaning over his side. So much for safeguarding the drawing from prying eyes. At least it was only Hunk. Wait. His soulmark?! “I thought we were best friends, Lance.”

“We are, but this isn’t my soulmark, it’s just one I saw on someone and remembered,” Lance corrected, shaking his head and staring down at Keith’s mark in confusion. There was no way he could be Keith’s soulmate, he would have felt a pull towards him . . .  a pull that could have been marred and distorted by his (their) insecurities until it looked like something else. Like rivalry. No way.

“You know that seeing your soulmate’s mark causes you to remember it in perfect detail, right?” Hunk said with a small, teasing smile, one arm resting around Lance’s shoulders as he ran a hand over the paper. Lance felt his stomach drop at the words, shock overwhelming him.

“Well yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t remember other ones,” Lance muttered, but the words sounded weak to his own ears as he started to trace the mark. He’d felt drawn towards Keith, it was true, even if it had been in competition. And now that Keith was starting to open up (or unravel, but suddenly Lance desperately needed it to be the former), Lance felt a need to comfort him and include him when he hadn’t before. He’d chocked it up to Shiro being gone but . . .

“Yeah, but in perfect detail?” Hunk interrupted his thoughts, pointing out the accuracy of Lance’s drawing, crooked though some of the lines were. “Plus look at this mark, an even number of squares and diamonds, lots of triangles, the intertwined feathers and flowers, all of it screams Lance Ramírez.”

“Huh, that does, I can see where you’re coming from Hunk,” Lance admitted as he stood up, crumpling the paper in his hand. Hunk’s gaze shown with unshed tears of joy, likely thrilled that Lance had found his own soulmate after Hunk found Shay. Wait until he found out that Lance’s was an alien too. Or at least a quarter alien. Lance needed to think about this by himself. No, not by himself. “Excuse me, I need to visit Blue.”

Lance careened out of the room before Hunk could ask him what the rush was, speeding down the hallway and into the ship bay. There was Blue, glancing at him warmly and knowingly as he climbed inside. She growled softly, letting Lance know she was ready to hear about whatever revelation had him rushing to her so late in the day. Normally Lance visited her in the mornings. “Keith might be my mark, Blue.”

_Of course he is. You’re the heart, he’s the emotions. You were always tied together._

Lance nodded, accepting Blue’s words as a truth he felt like he’d known and been denying all his life. Keith was his soulmate. Keith who was so afraid of forming a bond he wore gloves while swimming. Keith who hated Lance’s soulmark and thus his own personality with an anger he normally reserved for the enemy. Lance had the feeling they were in for a ride.


	5. We Need to Talk About Kevin

Keith marched into the hangar, gaze meeting the Black Lion’s glowing red one, smirking slightly as he marched across the bay. For the first time in nearly two weeks, he didn’t feel broken or lost or dangerously close to exploding (rather in rage or tears, terrifyingly Keith was never sure). He needed something to focus on, a mission. The Black Lion had become that mission.

“Not bonding with her,” Keith murmured, brushing Red with his hand a harsh growl reverberated across his mind. Keith had given up on that after the third time the Black Lion refused to open for him and Red had physically dragged him away each time, once going as far to swallow him. It was a lot more painful when he wasn’t floating in space. No, Keith knew leadership wouldn’t be bestowed on him, no matter what Shiro wanted. Allura, maybe. The Black Lion allowed her inside, turned on for her, but she’d yet to try flying. But there had been rumblings, whispers that the empire wouldn’t fall simply because Zarkon had.

They needed to be ready even if they didn’t find Shiro.

Which was Keith needed to know who the second voice in the Lion was. The memory of it, the quiet defense of him that quickly faded into dismissal, was seared into his memory. Keith knew it mattered, felt the same draw to the voice that he had the Blue Lion. Keith just also had no idea what that meant. If it was another Lion realizing it was _their_ Paladin who should lead, or just that Keith shouldn’t, if it was Haggar’s magic haunting them still, if it was Zarkon somehow stuck inside the Lion so Keith could stab him for daring to take Shiro away twice -

Well, Keith could dream. Keith sat down in front of the Lion, not surprised to hear metal creaking as Red came to sit down behind defensively. She’d been on edge since . . . well, since he had been. Keith glanced up at the and smiled weakly at it, the black and white metal face somehow feeling wary as it lowered towards him. “Hey, Black Lion. I’m not here to bond. I know you don’t want me to lead. I mean, neither do I. But I need answers.”

Black growled a little, turning its head to the side and away from Keith in annoyance. Red grunted, nudging him gently as though embarrassed for him. Keith rubbed the back of his neck, frowning a little when his fingers brushed against skin. Right. He didn’t have long hair anymore. “Okay, let me try again. I need to know who the second voice is. For the universe. For _Shiro_.”

Keith heard his voice crack a little on Shiro’s name and bit his lip, stomach sinking at his own weakness. He wouldn’t be surprised if the Black Lion just turned off. Instead Black met his gaze again, a small rumble passing between them. The Black Lion’s eyes glowed brighter as the Lion seemed to come to a decision. _I cannot give you the answers you seek, Paladin. You, or someone else, must come to them on your own._

“How am I supposed to do that?” Keith asked, tone bordering on snapping as he leaned back against Red with a low huff. A silence passed between the three of them. Keith crossed his arms against his chest, gaze downcast as the lost feeling from before started creeping back into his bones. Red’s eyes glowed above him, and Keith could feel the glow from Black still radiating across the hanger. They were talking about him.

 _Talk to me, Paladin. Share your thoughts, your fears._ Black’s first voice, but with a taunting hint of the second, rang out across his mind, startling Keith into looking up at her, mouth slightly open. Red let out a small growl, and Keith curled further against her, seeking protection from Black’s words. Keith could handle arguing, fighting, Black trying to slam her paw against his chest. But Keith had been wearing his fears far too close to the surface ever since Shiro disappeared. Letting Lance see them was one thing. The Black Lion, their leader and his judge (one he’d already failed), was another.

“Yeah, don’t know if Shiro told you, but that’s not really my thing,” Keith snapped this time, hands pressing tightly against his shoulder blades. The Black Lion said nothing, but there was a wave of disbelief coming off of her in waves. Apparently she wasn’t used to being refused, and as much as Keith didn’t want to share, he did want to find Shiro or at least something that might push them in that direction. “Fine, I’m pissed off Shiro is gone and I can’t do anything about it.”

Keith glared softly at the Black Lion, heat pooling in his stomach when the response to his words was bemusement rather than answers. Somehow he’d already said the same thing. There was an undercurrent there of something that wasn’t quite pity, but still raised Keith’s shackles and made his fingers curl into the soft material of his jacket. Behind him Red growled gently, mouth opening slightly as though ready to carry Keith off if Black went too far or he lost control. Keith couldn’t decide if that was touching or humiliating. _It does not seem to be anger that is troubling you._

“I’m always angry,” Keith answered, blinking a little as his grip on his jacket loosened. It had been the second voice, their words, the gentle teasing, that hadn’t been what Keith expected. It was familiar, comforting in a way that melted away the rage Keith had been trying to build, the cold fear that had been running through his veins since he lost Shiro again coming back to the surface along with something else that made Keith curl further into Red. “Okay. I’ve been . . . anxious. Terrified we won’t find Shiro and terrified of how he’ll react to me failing if we do.”

Black let out a fierce rumbling at that, one that reverberated across the hanger, frustration making Green and Yellow wince in sympathy. Keith frowned a little, eyebrows scrunching as he gazed up at the Lion. _Do you not have anyone else you can turn to?_

“Actually, Lance,” Keith said without thinking, too thrown by how weird all of this was to be worried about embarrassing himself anymore. The Black Lion’s lights flickered for a second, and Keith could swear she was blinking. It was unnervingly human and made Keith let out a small laugh, voice coming out hoarse. “I know, I’m shocked too, but ever since Shiro disappeared he’s been nice to me. He’s only insulted me twice and hasn’t even tried to start any stupid competitions. I actually miss those.”

The Black Lion let out a short growl, one that felt knowing and warm in a way that drew Keith in, made him reach out and brush a hand against a metal leg. He didn’t know how, but Keith felt like he was getting closer to the answers he wanted. _And the others?_

“Hunk is forcing me to come to meals and Pidge gives me the side eye if I train late, but she’s still up looking for Shiro and her family, so she can’t really say anything,” Keith answered, one hand still brushing against the Black Lion’s legs, as though the feel of the smooth metal under his fingertips will impart her knowledge somehow. Keith used his other hand to prop himself up, legs crossing underneath him as he got more comfortable. Keith had the feeling he might be here awhile if The Black Lion wanted a rundown of everything he’d felt and done since Shiro vanished. “But yeah, Lance is the one who made sure I didn’t lose it.”

 _You were always fighting at the start. What changed?_ It was the second voice, tinged with curiosity and a little bit of hope as the Black Lion leaned her head forward. That voice. It was different from the other Lions, less animalistic, less ancient and metallic. It sounded almost human.

“I don’t know. I’m honestly waiting for Lance to remember he doesn’t like me,” Keith admitted with a small sigh, knowing it would happened, that it’s what needed to happen. It didn’t change that on some treacherous level, Keith didn’t want Lance to remember. He liked Lance dragging him out of the training room when he didn’t recognize his own limits, teasing him about with little smiles, the way Lance wrapped an arm around his shoulder like Keith was something worth touching. Keith shook his head as though to drive the thoughts out of his head. “And I shouldn’t let him -”

The Black Lion let out a pained roar at Keith’s words. _You don’t need to hide your emotions from the others. You should communicate more openly with them._

Keith let out a dry laugh, hand slipping off of the Black Lion as he came to wrap them around himself again. Keith knew it looked more like he was hugging himself than crossing his arms, and the thought made stiffen. He hated this feeling of unbalance, of sadness that seeped over him lately. And the Black Lion, well she stared at him, eyes boring into him. “Not that simple when Lance might be my -”

_Might be your what? Paladin?_

The Black Lion cut him off, the second voice alone again and sounding less metallic than ever, emotions coming through almost as clearly as Red’s. Keith’s eyes widened as he took in the curious, gently prodding tone. It was one he’d heard before. When he’d had a panic attack over getting a B in Calculus. When he insisted on taking fight classes that were normally reserved for students at least a grade above him. When he had a breakdown right before meeting the Blade. “Shiro?”

* * *

Lance glanced at the others, grinning tiredly in an attempt to boost morale. Allura called for a training session today, not wanting them to get out of practice when rumblings of the empire’s next move spreading across the galaxy. Lance expected things to change when Zarkon died, but outside of there not being another attack and the Balmera being safe (so far), everything had stayed the same. The war would not be one with one great defeat, and Lance didn’t quite know how to be a soldier. None of them did.

Except Keith. Keith who slid back into training like a second skin, seeming more self-assured, more the confident Keith that once annoyed Lance than he had since he went to the Blade of Marmora. It was a relief in some ways, and Lance never thought he’d stay that. Still there was a heaviness, a restlessness that linger over Keith that was new, a worry. Maybe Keith thought he was getting rusty.

“Hey Keith, that whole dive into a stab thing you did? Badass,” Lance called as he walked over to the other man, tossing an arm over his shoulder. Keith stiffened for a moment before relaxing into the touch, though there was something in his gaze that made Lance feel like Keith was holding back. What, Lance didn’t know. What Lance did know was that he wanted to help ease that worry, make sure Keith knew he was still talented.

“What?” Keith asked, cocking his head at Lance and scrunching his eyebrows, looking more than a little lost. He shook his head a little, expression far off as he glanced over at the stars. Lance wondered if he was looking for the stardust that connected them or whatever space pseudo-science Keith believed, all while doubting the basic concept of soulmates.

“No, seriously, you totally would’ve saved the day if we’d actually been fighting Zarkon,” Lance insisted, trying to draw Keith’s attention back to him and away from the stars. They were bringing that anxious expression back onto Keith’s face. Keith’s gaze didn’t move and Lance sighed as he gently squeezed Keith’s shoulder - and suddenly Keith was looking up at him, expression sweetly confused like it had been during their dinner party with the Alrusians. Interesting. “Plus, that whole dive you did toward Red was very Peter Parker.”

“Oh, did he go to the Garrison?” Keith asked as they got toward the door, blinking owlishly as though trying to place the name. Holy shit. Keith genuinely didn’t know who Peter Parker was. His soulmate had been deprived and Lance knew now it was his duty to fix this travesty. But one step at a time.

“I - I’ll explain it to you later. Point is you did good out there, bud,” Lance assured him with final pat on the shoulder, pulling his arm away. Lance realized he’d let it linger there a little too long not to be weird, and he didn’t want to make Keith uncomfortable.

“Thank you?” Keith said, sounding more confused than ever, shaking his head a little. The restlessness seemed to overtake him as he walked out of the training room without so much as a glance back, determined as he marched down the hall without even taking his armor off. Lance felt like their (second) bonding moment hadn’t really gone as well as he’d hoped.

Lance needed advice. He needed an expert. And that was how he found himself in the kitchen a few hours later, cutting vegetables while Hunk eyed him suspiciously. Lance couldn’t blame him. He’d never offered to help in the kitchen before, mostly sticking to dishes with Keith or laundry duty with Coran. Finally Lance put the not-cucumber down, letting out a small sigh as he met his friend’s gaze. “Hunk, I need to talk to you about my soulmate.”

“I’ve been waiting for this moment since you told me you’d found them,” Hunk admitted with a wide grin as he sat down on the stool across from him, setting the space good aside. Hunk glanced at Lance and smirked a little, eyebrows wriggling. “Was it the mermaid queen?”

“What? No, no, I met them at . . . high school before I went to the Garrison,” Lance said, voice high as he waved in the air, trying to keep Hunk from guessing anymore aliens or part aliens. Eventually he might land on the right one. Lance was ready to figure out how to woo Keith or whatever, but he felt like it was probably in poor taste to tell someone else Keith was his soulmate before, well, Keith. But Lance also felt like dropping that news on Keith before they found Shiro (or moved on from finding Shiro, but he didn’t want to consider that yet) would be unfair.

“And you didn’t tell me about them before?!” Hunk asked, squinting at him and biting his lip a little. Lance winced, shaking his head. He would’ve been hurt and disbelieving if Hunk had kept that a secret from him too. This whole thing was way more complicated than Lance ever anticipated, but he really needed advice.

“They don’t know their my soulmate,” Lance said, giving Hunk a pointed look. Hunk nodded, understanding slowly dawning in his eyes. That was a relief. “They had a lot going on and I didn’t want to add to their worries.”

“Dude, you wouldn’t have been a worry. You’re a great guy, anyone would be lucky to be your soulmate,” Hunk insisted, reaching over to pat him on the shoulder, smile as warm as the sun. It was moments like these that made Lance a little wistful for that week he’d wondered if Hunk could be his soulmate before he realized Hunk would need a lot more squares. Hunk had believed in him in a way only Lance’s family had from the moment they met, and Lance forgot sometimes that he could always turn to Hunk when he was feeling insecure. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Thanks Hunk, but . . . Kevin is a complicated person,” Lance murmured, giving his friend a crooked smile. Hunk squinted at the name Kevin, probably trying to remember if he’d known one from the Garrison or if Lance had mentioned him before. “And all my methods for winning him over before I dropped the soulmate bomb kind of failed.”

“Did you umm. Use your pickup lines?” Hunk asked as gently as possible, giving Lance a small shoulder rub as he spoke. Lance narrowed his eyes, because he knew the pickup lines were cheesy. That was their _charm_.

“First of all, my pick up lines are fantastic, but no, I didn’t use them,” Lance told Hunk, crossing his arms a little defensively before dropping them back to his side with a sigh. If only the only barrier here were his lines. Life would be a lot easier then. “I told Kevin about how awesome soulmates were and he proceeded to tell me my mark was terrible, which means he hates himself which makes no sense because he’s literally perfect. He’s a mad genius . . . artist. Everyone said he was the best student there, but when I tried to boost his confidence by complimenting those things he just stared at me.”

“Right, didn’t know you went to an art school before the Garrison,” Hunk muttered, and there’s a hint of tired amusement in his voice that Lance can’t quite parse out. Lance was about to correct himself, say the school just had an art program or he meant athlete, when Hunk barreled on through and back to the point. “But your soulmark isn’t about how much of a badass you are at art, Lance.”

Lance blinked a little, because yeah, he was aware there was no part of the mark that indicated your natural talents or skills. His life would’ve been a _lot_ easier if there had been. “What are you getting at there, Hunk?”

“Kevin wasn’t insecure about his skills, he was insecure about himself on a really basic level,” Hunk answered with a small shrug, but the gaze he gave Lance was piercing and a little heartbroken. Leave Hunk to be this worried over a guy he’d never even meant just because he was Lance’s soulmate. Wait until Hunk found out it was Keith.

Lance was so caught up in his musings that it took him a second to get the full force of Hunk’s words. Disliked himself on a basic level. Keith? Self-confident, lived alone in a shack for nearly a year Keith? It wasn’t possible, was it?

The alarm started ringing before Lance could decide on an answer.

* * *

“Thanks for meeting me here,” Keith began, hating the obvious nerves in his own voice as Allura glanced at him tiredly. It was easy to forget she was only a few years older than him when she made that expression. In retrospect he probably shouldn’t have set off the alarms. Keith had been acting on impulse, not able to wait any longer to tell everyone his theory. The mixture of hope and fear of rejection - because he knew how it sounded - had been threatening to bubble over since yesterday. “I kind of have something important to say, and I know it’s going to sound a little weird.”

“You’re going to tell us why you cut off your mullet?” Coran asked cheerfully but also sounding genuinely curious, glancing at the back of Keith’s neck in a way that made him flush down to the lines of his shirt. Lance glanced over at him, gaze soft in a way that only made it deepen for reasons Keith couldn’t even begin to fathom. He felt exposed and vulnerable and he wished Red was here for him to lean against or hide inside again. Besides, Lance had no right to tease him (if that’s what he was doing) when he was the one who cut it off in the first place.

“Lance did that,” Keith answered softly, not missing the way Hunk’s head dramatically shot over to Lance. Apparently Hunk had really liked the mullet. “But no, this is serious. I think I know where Shiro is.”

The gasps that followed were expected, but Keith still had to close his eyes at them for a moment. If he turned out to be wrong, he would be responsible for the false hope and hurt feelings. When he opened them again, he found Pidge staring at him wide-eyed and hopeful. Keith looked down at that. He forgot, sometimes, that Pidge had spent the past few weeks looking for three people when she never should have to look for any. It was Allura’s cool, considering gaze that didn’t quite mask her hurt that made his heart freeze in his chest. “And you waited to tell us?”

“I only figured it out yesterday. I was trying to think things through for once,” Keith said, giving them all a crooked grin and earning a small laugh from Hunk. Allura gave a short nod, gaze softening. They had both lost the most, in some ways, when Shiro disappeared. “But Allura, I think . . . Shiro’s in the Black Lion.”

“Keith, I know you haven’t been sleeping well, but Shiro can’t become data,” Pidge said before she could stop herself, cocking an eyebrow at him. Keith can’t stop himself from looking down at the floor, flexing his hands a little. When he looked up, Pidge gave him an apologetic but still doubtful look, and Keith couldn’t really blame her. Even _he_ knew how Shiro turning into technology sounded. “Right Coran?”

“Actually,” Coran began, running a hand under his chin thoughtfully as everyone’s gazes turned towards him. Coran had the grace to look a little sheepish, as though he knew he he should have shared whatever he was about to say earlier. Keith’s chest felt heavy at the look. “There is an emergency protective method in which a quintessence based AI can fuse with their pilot for their mental and physical protection. The Paladin’s quintessence is muted so they can’t easily explain themselves, but there are cases of them managing to voice their thoughts opaquely. It’s only happened once every 500 years, but -

“Shiro is special and Keith’s weirdass instincts are what led us to the Blue Lion in the first place, so we should probably trust them,” Lance interrupted, and Keith was about to glare at him when he saw Lance’s expression. It was determined and serious, as though asking any of them to doubt Shiro or Keith. Keith couldn’t lie and say the expression didn’t make his chest strangely heavy and warm.

“Thank you, Lance,” Keith said with a small soft smile, gaze turning back to Allura and Coran. Now that Keith knew his theory was possible, he was happy to turn over the actual planning to everyone else. It wasn’t exactly in his skillset and they needed to do everything perfectly to rescue Shiro.

“We’ll have to run several tests, magical and scientific alike, but . . . it’s better than anything else we’ve thought of so far,” Allura called out firmly, nodding as she walked into the center of their group, back straight. She looked every inch a military leader, gaze tight and determined like she was already several steps ahead of the rest of them. Keith grinned at her tenacity, glad that they were on the same page. They needed to take care of this now. “Luckily, while this fight will be complicated, it can also be done relatively quickly.

“Great, so how do we go in there and rescue Shiro? Who do we need to fight?” Keith asked, bolstered by Allura’s determination. Keith glanced over at the hanger, ready to take on whatever was keeping Shiro trapped inside those wires and cords.

“Keith, you can’t fight the Black Lion,” Allura said, giving him a bemused smile, and Keith couldn’t stop himself from deflating a little. He really wanted to stab something in Shiro’s honor. Lance glanced over at him with the same warm expression he’d had a few minutes before and Keith could feel himself flushing with annoyance again. He cursed his face for being so obvious, especially when it made Lance grin at him so brightly Keith had to hurriedly turn his gaze back toward Coran who was hurriedly waving his hands. Good. Focus.

“We will need Hunk and Pidge to help us with the engineering and mathematics, though,” Coran said to the two paladins, both of them nodding in unison as they walked toward him. Hunk looked nervous but determined, while Pidge was already asking a hundred questions that Keith couldn’t understand but Coran and Hunk were clearly following perfectly.

“Yes, and I will handle the magic,” Allura said firmly, glancing over at the hanger thoughtfully. Keith glanced over at Lance, who gave him a rueful smile. At least Keith wouldn’t be helpless during this mission by himself. “Lance and Keith, you’ll be with me.”

“Neither of us are magic. Probably,” Lance pointed out, glancing at Keith with a slightly narrowed gaze on probably. Keith bristled, because honestly being part Galra was enough without suddenly developing any new powers. Let Lance have the magic.

“No, but you both seem to have an intuitive bond with your Lions. Having a high level of quintessence intuition means you might be helpful for locating where exactly Shiro is within The Black Lion,” Allura explained thoughtfully, giving them both a considering look. Keith blinked a little, because he’d never considered that he and Lance were both more bonded to their Lions, or at least bonded in a different way. They were such opposites, it was easy to forget the things they shared. Keith shook his head, realizing he was standing there blinking and gave Allura a short nod.

“When do we start?” Keith asked, expression becoming determined as he took a step toward Allura, offering up whatever internal magic or quintessence he had to her disposal.

“Right now,” Allura answered and gave Keith a knowing smile, gesturing for everyone to follow her. Keith smirked, hugging his jacket closer to him as he walked toward the hanger. He couldn’t stop the hope from bubbling over in his chest at her confidence, at the way Lance believed in him. They were both more cautious, more thoughtful than Keith. If they thought this could work, they just might have a chance.

Except setting up the spell and whatever they were doing to the Black Lion took the better part of two hours. It left Keith to pace around the hanger in his armor, checking on Red every five minutes and looking longingly at the other. Lance gave him increasingly perplexed and then amused looks, eyebrows raised as Keith started his sixth pace around the room. Keith stomped over to him, raising an eyebrow at Lance who somehow managed to stay sitting on the floor like everything wasn’t taking too long. “What?”

“Just, pacing around isn’t going to make them finish any quicker, if you want to relax,” Lance said lightly as Keith sat down next to him, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning tightly. “You’re kind of cute when you pout.”

“I’m not pouting! I’m just, look, I’m not the most patient person,” Keith admitted with a low sigh as he leaned back against the wall. Especially not when what he was waiting for was Shiro and answers and for the weight that had been pressing down on his chest since Shiro vanished to be gone. He heard Lance let out a small snort next to him.

“Trust me, Keith, we’re all very aware of that from all the times you’ve flown half-cocked into dangerous situations or jumped out of the back of lions,” Lance pointed out, shaking his head a little bit as he gave Keith a pointed look. Keith was just about to retort with a snappy comeback when Allura’s voice rang out and she broke out into a grin instead.

It was time.

Lance smiled back, both of them coming over to Allura’s side and taking one of her outreached hands from where she stood in front of the Black Lion. She was chanting something in Altean, the Black Lion’s eyes glowing in recognition. On top of it, Hunk had a handful of wires and Pidge and Coran were both typing hurriedly. Keith shrugged, gripping Allura’s hand a little tighter and feeling out of his element. But if Allura thought his and Lance’s quintessence could help, Keith was all in.

Several minutes passed without anything happening, and Keith could feel the tension in the air growing thicker as Allura’s voice shook. This was taking longer than it should have, Keith had led them all on a pointless mission and crushed them even further. He could feel his own hand starting to shake, hear Red roaring behind him -

And that was when the Black Lion suddenly started glowing so brightly Keith couldn’t see anything, clinging to Allura with one hand, and instinctively reaching his free arm around her to palm at Lance’s back. He’d have been more embarrassed if Lance hadn’t gripped him back with equal fervor. The sounds were strange and terrible too, like metal splitting from flesh. Loud and mechanic one second, tearing and ripping the next. Keith couldn’t wanted to dive in, save Shiro from the pain he might be undergoing, but one false move might ruin this or make things worse, and Lance’s death grip was pretty much forcing his impulses to stay at bay.

When the light cleared, Shiro stood there, messy haired and looking disoriented, shaking a little. Allura let go of his hand, and the only thing that kept Keith from falling to his knees was Lance’s hand on his back.

Shiro collapsed into Allura, and she caught him, one hand coming to brush against his cheek as he gave her a tired, longing smile. Allura pressed the palm with her soulmark against his, and they raised their hands up together before clasping them, the apparently intergalactic sign of reunion. Then Shiro let out a small sigh and leaned forward, capturing her mouth in a gentle kiss Allura soon deepened, her other arm wrapping possessively around his back. “I knew you’d come to me,” Keith heard her whisper when they break the kiss, clinging to each other for a moment and staring into each other’s eyes.

They break apart a moment later, Pidge engulfing Shiro in a tight hug, and Keith could distantly hear her quiet sobs and see how Shiro’s own eyes are watering. He still hadn’t moved, and he was dimly aware that Lance’s other arm had snaked it’s way around his shoulders to keep him upright. He watched as Shiro let go of Pidge after a moment, her sliding to his side and grinning through her tears.

Shiro was staring at him, and if Keith didn’t know better he’d say he looked guilty as he took a hesitant step toward Keith. For a moment Keith can’t move, and then he was barreling forward, out of Lance’s arms and into Shiro’s chest, arms wrapping around him at the same time Shiro’s enfold him in the hug. “Shiro!”

His voice sounded desperate and ragged to his own ears, and Keith didn’t even care, not when Shiro was hugging him tightly, one hand running down his back soothingly. It was then that Keith realized he was crying. Keith took a few shuddering breaths, trying to get himself under control before he pulled away to look up at Shiro. Shiro smiled down at him, gaze warm and soft and with a whispered apology Keith still didn’t understand. He didn’t know what Shiro was thinking or what he was about to say. “What happened to your hair?”

And Keith let out a long, exhausted snort and just pointed at Lance, shaking his head as he let go of Shiro, fingers lingering on his arm. They were going to be okay.

* * *

Lance was surprised by the knock on his door at midnight, about to go to bed. Hunk and Keith were normally asleep by now (if only because Keith got up at 4 AM to train because of course he did), and Pidge rarely bothered anyone after she went into her tech cocoon. He was even more surprised to find Shiro on the other side of the door. After they’d all taken turns hugging him, Coran and Allura had whisked him away to the lab to run tests and make sure he was okay, and Shiro had spent the better part of yesterday and today there. Lance figured after he was released, he’d want to sleep or make up for lost time with Allura.

“Shiro? What are you doing here? I thought you’d want to catch up with Allura or Keith,” Lance asked, even as he gestured for the other man to come into his room. Shiro gave him a tired smile as he carefully sat in Lance’s chair, turning so he was facing him as Lance sat on his bed. An awkward silence passed as Shiro closed his eyes for a moment, as though steeling himself to say something terrible. Lance tried to keep his insecurities from slipping from his mouth.

“I have been, but I wanted to talk to you too,” Shiro said after a beat, crossing his legs as though to make this moment feel more casual and less strange. It didn’t really work since Shiro had never come into Lance’s room before. “I wanted to thank you. When I was in the Black Lion, I could hear what everyone said to me.”

“. . . You’re thanking me for yelling at you and saying you played favorites?” Lance muttered after a moment, eyes wide. Because yeah, he and everyone else had attempted to enter the Black Lion after Keith’s initial disastrous attempt. And while Lance’s hadn’t been quite as dire, he might have said some things about Shiro’s leadership skills. Namely that he paid far more attention to Allura and Keith and Pidge than he did the rest of them, that he didn’t notice Lance’s skills. It had been in a moment of rage and fear and despair. But well. They’d also been kind of true.

(Less true after he found Keith having a breakdown because he thought Shiro didn’t love him, but still).

“For taking care of Keith,” Shiro corrected, giving him a small, sheepish grin. Lance blinked a little in surprise, wondering what exactly Keith had told the Black Lion the past few weeks. Then he shook his head, messy hair falling against the top of his forehead, gaze guilty as he looked up at Lance. “But we should probably talk about that too.”

Lance took a deep breath, reminding himself he’d already yelled at Shiro about this. Plus, seeing the actual Shiro in front of him again, young and exhausted and no, not perfect, but trying, made it hard to retain the same level of rage as he’d had at the metal lion. But Shiro was right. This conversation had been coming for months. “You don’t give me as much consideration as you do everyone else. Hunk too, but Hunk has like, deservedly, really great self-confidence. I could use a little more support.”

“You’re right. I got so caught up in making sure Pidge and Allura were doing alright after their losses and in trying to figure out what Keith needed, I . . . I wasn’t always the best leader outside of the field for everyone,” Shiro admitted ruefully, smiling a little sadly as he glanced over at Lance. Lance blinked, cocking his head a little. He’d expected Shiro to argue or try and defend himself. Lance was pretty sure he would in the same situation. But he also hadn’t had a month inside of a Lion to reflect on himself. “Keep going.”

“Okay, and . . . I’m a great strategist. I make good plans and I wish you’d include me a little more in that stages,” Lance said firmly, catching Shiro’s gaze with a sharp look. There are missions he would have handled differently, or at least had different plans for. Missions. Meetings. He knew from the tight look Shiro gave him that he knew which ones. “Plus, as you know, my presentations are _amazing_.”

“That’s true, and you’re right, part of being a leader is recognizing and fostering everyone’s skills,” Shiro agreed with a small nod, and he suddenly looked both younger and older than he ever had before, eyes tired as he leaned onto his forearms.

“Right, and hey, look, I know this must have been rough for you too. You were kidnapped and forced to be a gladiator and then you were suddenly our team leader,” Lance rambled, and Shiro looked up at him in surprise, as though he hadn’t expected acceptance. Lance smiled at him softly, pressing one hand against Shiro’s shoulder. “It’s not really fair to expect you to get everything right away.”

“No, but I hope from now on you always feel comfortable telling me when I get things wrong,” Shiro answered with a wry grin, gaze teasing as he caught Lance’s own. Good, things were cool now, casual. Lance felt safe bringing up the other thing that hung between them. Keith.

“Speaking of getting things wrong . . .” “You should treat Keith like you do Pidge.” Lance said instead of the million speeches he’d planned about how Keith needed affection and protection, about how he was going to burn himself up if they didn’t do more to try and stop him before he actually accomplished his goal.

“What?” Shiro asked, blinking a little and mouth wide. Lance couldn’t really blame him.

“I mean, not literally, but you like, you try and groom Keith for all these things when all Keith wants is for you to love him and to get to stab things,” Lance explained, cursing himself for not being able to better put his thoughts into words. Normally this was one of his skills, but it was harder with Keith. Everything was, these days. Shiro looked at him, face carefully blank, and Lance hoped he hadn’t crossed a line they couldn’t come back from now.

“He likes to garden too,” Shiro said after a moment, suddenly breaking out into a wide grin as he patted Lance’s arm, slowly rolling himself out of the chair. Lance blinked as Shiro moved toward the door. “Thank you, Lance.”

Lance nodded, returning the smile with a small one of his own, relief feeling his chest. He had the feeling that the team was going to work differently from now on. He only hoped he’d been right about what it needed.

* * *

“End training simulation,” Shiro called out, Keith nearly toppling over as the Gladiator came to a sudden standstill. He placed his bayard to the side, walking over to where Shiro was approaching him. He looked tired still, the bags under his eyes even deeper than when they first pulled him out of the Black Lion. Keith wondered if Shiro had slept at all tonight. Judging from the slow yawn that slipped from his lips as he stood next to Keith, one arm resting on his shoulder, Keith is going to guess the answer is no.

“You guys gotta stop deciding that for me,” Keith said instead of any of that, giving him a small lopsided smile when Shiro blinked in confusion. He’d tell him about Hunk and Lance later. Right now he needed to find out why Shiro had come in here so early, gaze heavy as he glanced down at Keith. It made him still under his touch. “What’s up Shiro?”

“I want to talk to you about what you said in the Black Lion the day I disappeared,” Shiro told him softly, though the firm look in his eye told Keith that this was going to happen sooner or later. Keith stiffened under his hand, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. This was the conversation he had been afraid of having. He didn’t want to face Shiro’s disappointment or anger, to look Shiro in the eyes and know that he knew he’d wasted years on Keith and all the potential he didn’t actually have. Not that Shiro would say those things, but Keith would know.

“So you heard all of that?” Keith asked in a small voice, opening his eyes but staring at the floor instead of Shiro. It was cowardly, Keith knew that. But he would do anything to avoid the inevitable just a little longer. “I’m sorry -”

“No,” Shiro cut him off empathetically, and Keith looked up in surprise. Shiro gazed back at him, but there was no anger or disappointment in his gaze, only an apology Keith knew he didn’t deserve. “I’m sorry, Keith. I never should have asked that of you.”

Keith shook his head, pulling back from Shiro’s grip. He balled his hands into fists, emotions swirling and overwhelming him. But Keith knew one thing with clarity. Shiro hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t Shiro’s fault he expected Keith to be what everyone had been training him to be since he was fourteen. That was on Keith. “Shiro, you were just asking me to be a leader. I was the one who failed you.”

“Nope, I failed you. I was so focused on the future that was planned for you at the Garrison and making sure that happened, I didn’t pay attention to what you were telling me or how you were feeling,” Shiro said, again not letting Keith finish whatever argument he was going to make against himself. Shiro’s tone was kind but allowed no room for argument, or least not any that excused him from blame in this situation.

“I just want to live up to the potential you all liked me for,” Keith murmured, still at least wanting a share of the blame. After all, the whole reason Shiro was his friend and had put so much time and effort into him was _because_ of that potential. Keith’s failure to be a leader, to even pilot the Black Lion without having a panic attack was proof enough that he wasn’t what Shiro had hoped and - suddenly Keith felt Shiro’s metal arm on his back and then he was being pulled into a tight hug.

“I don’t like you for your potential. I _love_ you because you’re Keith,” Shiro told him firmly, a hint of anger in his voice that Keith recognized wasn’t for him, though he wasn’t sure who Shiro was angry at instead. Keith sagged against his chest, something long held deep in his stomach unfurling. They were words he’d never expected to hear from Shiro, never thought he’d deserve to hear from Shiro. “You’re like a little brother to me, you know that right?”

Shiro pulled back at that a little, metal arm still resting on his shoulder. Keith took in the words, the meaning and felt his shoulders start to shake. Keith was confused for a moment, until he felt the wetness on his cheeks. Of course. He couldn’t stop him from giving Shiro a crooked smile to try and make things better. “Oh my god. This is the third time I’ve cried this week, what is wrong with me?”

“You know you’re allowed to feel things besides anger right?” Shiro asked with a smile of his own, gaze a little watery as Keith dabbed at his own eyes. When he was was sure the crying had stopped, he rolled his eyes at Shiro, crossing his arms a little to try and show him he was fine. He didn’t need Shiro worrying about him when Shiro had just gone through another possibly traumatic experience (though it seemed like being inside of the Black Lion had been more healing than anything else, given how calm Shiro seemed even with his lack of sleep) and they had a universe to protect. “But I’m glad we talked about this. No more pressure from me, and no more you worrying about disappointing me. You don’t need to be a team leader just because Iverson suggested it.”

“I’m also confused plenty,” Keith reminded him with a shaky grin, earning a sharp laugh from Shiro. Keith wished he could join in, but Shiro’s last few words had made reality, his reality come crashing down around him again. Keith tried his best to make it seem like a joke. Hunk said he was funny now. “Like about what I’m supposed to do if I’m not a leader or fighter pilot.”

“What are you talking about?” Shiro asked, eyebrows scrunching and tone unbearably soft. Keith was pretty sure he’d missed funny.

“It might not even happen, but if we do win the war before we’re all 80, everyone else’ll go back to earth, you’ll help Allura with her alliance,” Keith explained with a small cock of his head, looking to the corner of the room so he wouldn’t have to see Shiro working it out for himself. Keith figured out there was no place for him weeks ago, around the same time he promised Lance he’d find love with someone who wasn’t his soulmate. “And I guess I’ll join the Blade.”

“Keith, you’re not joining the Blade,” Shiro said, squinting a little and pulling Keith a bit closer, lips pressed into a firm line as he shook his head again.

“And I thought I was supposed to be the overprotective one in this friendship,” Keith muttered teasingly, smirking up at Shiro. Shiro didn’t look amused as he shook his head again, muttering something under his breath Keith couldn’t quite catch. “The Blade our allies, and it’s not like I can go back to the Garrison.”

“The Garrison tried to cover up me being experimented and the Holts being kidnapped, no one is going back there,” Shiro said, tone bordering on exasperation. Keith blinked a little, making a small “o” with his mouth, because yeah, he hadn’t really thought of that part. Long-term planning had never been his strong suit. But either way, Lance and Hunk and Pidge had non-combat skills and Lance could always return to piloting in some form. Keith was still the kid who got expelled, and he didn’t know what future that left him. “Look, Keith you’re 19, not 80. We’ll figure out something else for you to do together if and when we go back to earth. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Keith blinked back a few tears that threatened to fall again (and god he really needed to fight something and soon), and nodded a little. Keith was used to doing everything alone, even after he got to the Garrison. He was never dependent on anyone. The idea that he was allowed to be wasn’t something he could fully process. “I - thank you, Shiro.”

“Of course, so are we going to talk about the other elephant in the room?” Shiro asked, grinning at Keith in a way that reminded him way too much of how Hunk grinned at Lance’s many, many crushes or Pidge’s robots for his comfort. “Lance might be your?”

The way Shiro said it already told Keith he’d guessed the next word, or at least suspected the direction it was heading in, if not the soulmate part. Keith would’ve just come out and said rival or enemy or whatever. Crush or soulmate though, those were both true and a much bigger problem. And not one Keith could deal with right now after having that many revelations about how Shiro felt about him and what his future _could_ hold, even if they’d all been positive. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Yeah, Keith, we can talk about it later,” Shiro agreed with a warm smile, ruffling his hair a little and leaning an arm across his shoulder as they walked out of the room. Keith saw Lance in the hallway and gave him a small smile. Lance looked surprised and then suddenly turned towards Shiro and gave him the double thumbs up. Keith glanced between them, but they both just laughed, shaking their heads. Keith decided it was probably better he didn’t know.

* * *

The thing is, Lance is happy for Shiro and Keith. Really. He was the one who told Shiro they needed to change their relationship, and in the week since Shiro had been back they had. Pushing Keith towards being a leader and letting Keith train until he’d nearly passed out had been replaced with hair ruffling and Shiro dragging him to dinner, because no not even Keith needed to train for more than four hours in a row. They were more like brothers than a leader and a soldier now, and it was sweet and also meant Shiro turned to all of them for advice during training simulations instead of just Keith (though Shiro still asked him when they needed to switch gears in the moment). Everything had worked out perfectly.

Lance just didn’t get to see a lot of Keith now that he was always with Shiro or training or hanging out in Coran’s greenhouse because Shiro thought it would be good for him to have a hobby that wasn’t stabbing things. That was how he found himself sitting in the kitchen again, this time not bothering with pretending like he wanted to help make the food. It had tasted notably worse last time, after all. “Hunk, can I tell you more about Kevin?”

“Any time, Lance, I am the soulmate whisperer,” Hunk answered with a wide grin, flipping over one of the omelette like things he was making for tonight’s dinner.

“Shay kissed you within five minutes of meeting,” Lance reminded him, rolling his eyes a little at the dreamy look that came over Hunk’s face at the mention of Shay. But Lance to admit he was impressed Hunk managed to keep a long distance relationship going strong in space when Lance’s soulmate lived next door to him and Lance couldn’t even get up the nerve to tell him. “But okay, so Kevin was mostly a loner, but he did have this best friend, Hiro. They weren’t romantic or anything, so I’m not worried about that. But I could never really get Kevin alone because Hiro was always there -”

“Can I just admit I know it’s Keith yet?” Hunk asked, sounding slightly exasperated as he looked up from adding Balmeran salt to the almost eggs.

“Woah, what? Hunk what are you even saying?!” Lance tried, making his most shocked and offended face, one hand pressing against his cheek while his right dramatically came to lie against his heart. Hunk just raised his eyebrows, mouth forming into a thin line. No sell. “When did you figure it out?”

“The fake name you used was Kevin,” Hunk pointed out slowly, shaking his head a little as Lance flushed. Okay, yeah maybe that had been a little obvious. He probably shouldn’t have gone with a K name in retrospect. “And you said he was mad skilled and Keith is the only person you’ve ever said that about, so I was kind of just waiting for you to tell me.”

“Right, okay, so do you have any advice for Keith and Hir- Shiro?” Lance asked with a small smile, shaking his head a little. He should have known Hunk would be able to see right through him.

“Keith still trains alone and visits Red everyday, catch him then, or when he’s in the greenhouse,” Hunk pointed out, and Lance nodded a little. Training was out because Keith was terrifying then and Lance didn’t want Keith to see him failing to keep up, but the greenhouse and during visits with the Lions were definitely doable. Lance could make this work. He had to make this work. “And Lance? Remember how you told me that you and Keith actually made a good team when you worked together or got attacked by the ship?”

“Yeah?” Lance said, because it had only been two months since then, even if it felt like a lifetime ago with everything that had happened since.

“Focus on that, not that the past few months have been . . .not more weird, but a more stressful weird for you guys,” Hunk said, glancing up thoughtfully as he beat down the omelette with a tool Lance didn’t recognize. “And if Keith really does hate his soulmark, let him know you don’t.”

Lance crossed his arms against his chest, facing screwing up in frustration. “I did! I yelled at him and implied he didn’t have a soul!”

“Okaaay. Don’t do that this time?” Hunk suggested, looking at Lance in confusion, eyebrows pressed together and gaze bordering on disapproving. Lance realized belatedly that his words sounded a lot worse out of context. They didn’t sound great in context, granted, but at least he and Keith were equally to blame instead of Lance just sounding like the worst soulmate ever. “But what I meant was that Keith needs to know you like _Keith_. Compliment him about the things on your palm instead of him being good at piloting. He already knows that, and apparently it didn’t do a lot for his self-esteem.”

“He said I was a good shot a few weeks ago before everything went to hell,” Lance murmured quietly, smiling softly at the memory. Hunk grinned at him, leaning over to press a hand on his shoulder.

“Right, so you know there’s a goodwill opening, and you cut his hair and dragged him to movie night. He trusts you, go for it,” Hunk told him, giving a light shove toward the door. Lance nodded, suddenly feeling more confident. Hunk was right. Maybe Keith didn’t think of him as a seventh wheel, and if nothing else he trusted Lance. Trusted him more than maybe anyone except Shiro. That was more than most soulmates started with.

Lance gave a small thankful wave to Hunk, before running out of the kitchen and to the greenhouse, a small but overcrowded room about 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the ship. He hoped Keith was there and not trying to fight a gladiator. And luck would have it, he saw messy black hair and heard a familiar voice cooing over something that looked like a rosebush. Who even knew Keith could coo? This was too adorable. Fate was clearly on his side.

“Keith!” Lance called out, watching as the other boy stumbled, turning on his heel to look back at Lance. There was a little bit of dirt smudged against his cheek, and his black t-shirt had leaves stuck to it, black bangs falling messily across his forehead as Keith swiped at them with one hand, the other still gently holding the flower pot.

“What’s up?” Keith asked as he put the flower down, taking a few steps towards Lance. He was making that adorable confused face he did sometimes, lips forming a perfect “o” and eyes wide. Lance wanted to lean over and kiss right then and there.

“You’re sensitive,” Lance nearly shouted instead, and Keith’s eyes widened further as he took a step back. Lance winced, realizing that sounded more like an insult than a compliment. But he was speaking from the heart here, like in a romantic comedy, and what better place for a bond-cute than surrounded by flowers (and vegetables, but minor details)? Now was their moment. “No, not in a bad way. It’s . . . it’s sweet how much you care about Shiro and even the rest of us and you’re always risking your life to protect people -”

“Are you making fun of me?” Keith asked, frowning a little as he picked up a piece of cloth from the a nearby table. He pressed it roughly against his cheek without any water, and Lance knew now that part of why he was Keith’s soulmate was to teach him good skin care.

“No?” Lance said back, a little confused and worried that Keith’s self-esteem was actually so low that he couldn’t imagine someone complimenting him. He’d have to fight Shiro if that were the case, and he’d definitely lose.

“Are you sure?” Keith asked with a small frown, brow furrowing gently in confusion. Lance could work with confused. “Just, you normally . . . tease me for being hotheaded and impulsive and then I say something snarky back. It’s kind of our thing.”

“That’s not our thing! Our thing is competing over stupid things and knowing we’re secretly both having fun,” Lance said and took a deep breath, because he’d never meant to genuinely hurt Keith with his bickering. Lance knew that Keith had hit on his weak spots unknowingly before, and now it was clear he might have done the same, but there had never been any malice. To his relief, Keith seemed to agree as he nodded at Lance’s words, smirking a little with a surprisingly mischevious glint in his eyes that disappeared as soon as Lance saw it. “Look, I’m trying here, Keith.”

“Trying what?” Keith asked, cocking his head a little, mouth making the “o” again. Right. Keith didn’t know they were soulmates.

“I - nothing,” Lance said and turned to go, before stopping himself. If he didn’t tell Keith now, he wasn’t sure when he’d have the courage to again. His insecurities were clawing at him, telling him wasn’t good enough, to run. Lance needed to act before they won. “Look, I saw your mark.”

“What?” Keith asked, somehow becoming even paler than normal as his expression grew eerily blank. He took a step around Lance, knocking over a few almost tomatoes with his hips with his sudden movements. He was starting to remind Lance of a wild animal again, and that couldn’t be a good sign.

“When Shiro first disappeared, I went to check up on you and you’d taken your armor off and not put your regular gloves back on,” Lance explained, holding up his hands in front of him as Keith took a few ragged sounding breaths. Lance had no idea how the mood had shifted so quickly, but then, there was probably a reason Keith wanted to keep his mark covered all those years, one that probably tied into why he thought Lance’s mark was so ugly. “I didn’t want to say anything until we found Shiro.”

“Okay, so you know I have a soulmark,” Keith said, trying to keep his voice light even though the hints of panic still clung to him. He gave Lance a small lopsided smile, tugging on the glove hiding his mark nervously.

Lance watched his actions and felt his stomach sink a little. Keith suspected it was him, on some level. And he still wore his gloves. Either Keith truly didn’t think he deserved a soulmate or he really didn’t want it to be _him_. Lance honestly wasn’t sure which was worse. “Keith, I memorized the soulmark right away. We’ve been drawn to each other since school, and your mark describes me to a tee, and I’m pretty sure mine is you. I think you’re my soulmate.”

Keith stared at him for a second, gaze somehow at once longing and terrified. He took a step toward Lance and then back toward the wall, as though not sure which way to go. Then Keith bolted, running across the greenhouse with a speed Lance didn't even try to match.

Lance clung to the longing and reminded himself it was a small castle.


	6. Back to Back

   Keith would like to say he took the brave route, that he went and found Lance and told him there was no possible way someone like Lance could be stuck with someone like Keith. The universe just wouldn’t allow it, no matter how much their signs made it seem like the opposite. But Keith was … not a great liar, and if Lance pushed him on if Keith was positive they couldn’t be soulmates, Keith would have to admit there was a chance. And Keith knew how it looked, between Lance memorizing Keith’s mark and Keith memorizing his. But Keith also had a great memory for detail and Lance was smart, so it could just as easily be a coincidence.

The fact that Keith didn’t know what Shiro’s looked like perfectly after 5 years of knowing him didn’t mean anything.

So Keith did the right thing: he avoided Lance as much as possible outside of training for the two days following Lance’s soulmate bomb, skipping meals and team bonding. Hunk seemed hurt, sending him confused or worried looks here and there, but Keith couldn’t tell Hunk what was going on without Lance finding out that Keith also thought they might be soulmates. Same with Shiro, whom Keith might have told once, but now Shiro seemed insistent Keith needed to be a person and make friends, and while normally Keith really wanted that, it was a pain in the ass when it came to this. And Lance … Lance kept giving him small, knowing but tired looks and shaking his head when Keith brushed past him.

And yeah, Keith felt like an asshole. But he had to remind himself he was doing this for Lance, not to hurt him. Short-term awkwardness was better than long-term pain. Even someone as impulsive as Keith knew that.

But avoidance could only last for so long. They were a team, and they could only form Voltron if they trusted each other. Keith couldn’t risk the universe just to protect Lance from himself. So Keith knew what he had to do: he had to remind Lance why he hated him. It wouldn’t be hard, seeing as how Lance apparently had from first sight. He’d call Keith hotheaded and impulsive and _selfish_ enough times, it wouldn’t be hard to remind Lance that he still was all of those things. God knew it had never been hard to remind anyone else. 

And sure Lance said some nice things when he dropped the soulmate bomb, but Lance sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Keith he thought those things. And they hadn’t been that nice. ‘Sweet’ was almost always used sarcastically nowadays, so Lance probably hadn’t even meant it. And Lance was annoyed with for being impulsive and hotheaded, so suddenly acting like he thought it was cool that Keith risked his life for people was clearly a lie, and sensitive …

_“Stop crying! You’re not the only kid here going through hard times,” Keith’s teacher snapped at him, and Keith bit his lip and wiped uselessly at his eyes. The tears wouldn’t stop coming, and her expression only got harder the more that fell. “C’mon, you’re a big boy.”_

_“I – I miss my dad,” Keith murmured as he clung to his coat, glancing down at the floor so she wouldn’t have to see that he was still crying. “I just wanna know when he’s coming back.”_

_“I can’t answer that,” She said, and for a moment her tone is a little softer, warmer. Then her gaze goes hard again as Keith started to shake. He’d kept her here past working hours for 20 minutes already waiting for his ride. His foster parents forgot him again. “But look, I’m sure your foster parents just lost track of time. Sometimes adults do, it doesn’t mean anything. You can’t go through life being so sensitive.”_

_**_

_Keith was 11 this time, the other boys in the group home mocking him for getting so excited about the planetarium. Keith didn’t care, because one of the employees gave him a model of Jupiter to take home, complete with moons. He spent hours spinning it and copying the names of the moon carefully into his notebook._

_Three days later Keith woke up to find it smashed, and when he told their group home mom, she just shrugged and said accidents happened. Keith shouldn’t be so sensitive._

_**_

_Just tell me where Shiro is!” Keith yelled, one hand slamming flat against Iverson’s desk, papers flying everywhere. Iverson stared back at him coldly; shaking his head a little bit as he took in Keith’s face, twisted with rage and streaks from his earlier tears still visible. Keith knew it wasn’t the face someone wanted from their ‘best’ pilot, but Keith couldn’t really give a fuck right now. Not until he found Shiro._

_“That’s classified information, and you’re still a cadet. Barely,” Iverson said calmly and with a warm smile, though Keith can feel the venom in the last word. He balled his hands into fists and mentally repeated ‘patience yields focus’ over and over again in his head. “What happened to Shiro is … unfortunate, but you’ll have other mentors here. Don’t be so sensitive.”_

_Keith saw red and by the time he didn’t, he was alone in a shack in a desert with no resources outside of a motorcycle he borrowed on his way out. It was a rough six months._

Well, Keith knew that being sensitive wasn’t a good thing, even if Lance thought it was. But that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was coming up with a new plan to keep Lance from wanting to find out Keith was his soulmate –

The alarms went off before Keith can come up with one though.

Keith went from avoiding Lance to finding himself stuck in a cave with Lance for an indefinite amount of time. They were protecting the local village and Hunk and Pidge (doing the complicated mechanical work while Shiro guarded the door) from the hoards of robots coming their way. Shiro insisted they needed someone who would come up with a careful, well thought out plan to get them in the cave, but also quick thinking and impulses once they were inside. And so it fell to them, and Lance, through a series of vents and careful shots with his gun and slashes with Keith’s sword, had gotten them to the heart of the cave quickly. And now they just had to wait. And wait.

“For someone who supposedly had a tough guy image, you sure do pout a lot,” Lance said with a wry smile as he glanced at where Keith was, body tense in case of attack. Keith only frowned harder at that because it was a frown, not a pout, and maybe he made this expression a lot, but he was bored. They’d been waiting here without any sign of a robot or the Galra for at least half an hour, maybe even longer. Normally he’d stabbed something or done a bunch of cool moves in Red by now.

“At least I don’t pose like I’m in action movie,” Keith countered, gesturing to where Lance was currently standing with one leg bend at a perfect 90-degree angle with his gun cocked over his shoulder. He even kept tossing his head every five seconds, bangs brushing against his forehead and falling across those deep blue eyes. Not that Keith noticed.

“Hey, gotta be ready for heroics at any moment,” Lance told him with a small smirk even as he repositioned his legs in a more comfortable position. Keith blinked at that, cocking his head a little and scrunching his eyebrows. How was keeping your leg at an angle that was actively hard to jump out of going to help them save anyone? Was it good for aim? “You never know when we’ll need to impress someone with my dashing good looks and charm,”

“Whatever, Indiana Jones,” Keith muttered, sending a teasing grin over at Lance even as he rolled his eyes. Of course. He should’ve known that Lance’s pose was for whatever cute alien he wanted to impress this time. Keith pushed away the sinking feeling that caused in his stomach, reminding himself it was a good thing Lance was moving on from him. 

“Oh my God, Keith, was that a pop culture reference?” Lance asked, clutching his free hand over his heart, eyes comically wide as he leaned back against the rock next to him. Keith shook his head, biting his lip a little as he looked over at Lance. He wondered if this expression looked like pouting too. “I’m so proud.”

Keith tried to glare at Lance, but the warm feeling rising in his stomach, threatening to make him blush wasn’t anger or even frustration. Instead it was the softer, brighter warmth he felt whenever Shiro or his dad used to tease him. Safe. Keith couldn’t stop himself from letting out a light, airy laugh if he tried. “I didn’t literally grow up alone in a shack.” 

Lance opened his mouth to retort, grin playful, when a small robotic arm shot out above his head. Keith lunged forward, slicing off the arm, sparks filling the air around him. Keith ignored them, focused on the problem at hand. Shiro had explained that this model of robot was rare, but especially deadly. If the robot actually got out of the hole, it was capable of injecting them with fast killing venom. There was no way they’d make it to the ship in time. He needed to act fast. 

Keith slammed his bayard into the hole a second later, wincing at the loud pop and tiny ‘skreeing’ noises that followed. The robot sounded like Pidge pretending to be a laser. Keith pulled his bayard out to find the tiny debris of the robot around his sword and, shook off the tiny bits of metal that still clung to it. Gross. Keith took a deep breath, grabbed a stone from the ground, and with some assistance from a still rattled looking Lance, filled the hole. Keith grinned over at Lance, rubbing his hands together cheerfully, though his smile faded at Lance’s expression.

“The plan was to take them out quietly, Keith, not make the robot explode,” Lance snapped, tone annoyed and tired. There was something heavy in his gaze, something Keith had seen before aimed at him way too many times. Disappointment. But why? Keith solved the problem, and he couldn’t help what kind of sound the robot made as they died. 

“Yeah, well the plan didn’t include the robots coming out a whole in the cave? Would you rather I let it stab me?” Keith asked with a low snort, crossing his arms as he glared softly over at Lance. The other boy didn’t answer, the silence spreading between them and making the air thick. Oh God, they were never going to be able to form Voltron again. “Oh my god would you actually –“

“What is wrong with you? Of course I didn’t want the robot to stab you,” Lance cut him off, gaze wide as he pressed his hands against his hips, glancing over at Keith like he’d lost his mind. Keith flushed a little, running his hand through his hair sheepishly, but still staring at Lance in confusion. That might have, admittedly, been a wild guess, but it didn’t change the fact that Lance seemed upset Keith saved their lives. “I was just trying to impress you.” 

Keith bit his lip, taking a few steps forward until he was face to face with Lance. Lance blinked at him, and Keith put a careful hand on his shoulder, one eye still on the area in front of them and free hand glued to his bayard. “Why would you care about impressing me?”

“Because you’re my rival and my soulmate, and I’m sorry that I didn’t want you to feel like you were stuck with your replacement,” Lance snapped, though there was no anger in voice, just a kind of sadness Keith hadn’t heard before. Keith never understood why Lance wanted to be his rival; they had completely different skillsets so there wasn’t really any competition they’d be evenly matched in. And Lance shouldn’t even want Keith as a soulmate. But Keith pushed both those thoughts aside, focusing on the word “replacement” and frowning as he softly squeezed Lance’s shoulder. He didn’t know what it meant but he knew he hated the look it put in Lance’s eyes. “You don’t know what I’m talking about do you?” 

“No,” Keith admitted with a small shrug, grip tightening on his bayard at Lance’s low sigh. Somehow he didn’t think this was a pop culture reference he wasn’t getting.

“Iverson only made me a fighter pilot because you got kicked out. You’re a better pilot than me,” Lance answered in a clipped tone, gaze dropping to the dirt floor below them for a second. Then, as though remembering where they were, Lance snapped his eyes back to the cave walls in front of them, embarrassment still evident in his gaze.

“Yeah, I’m a better pilot than everyone, even Shiro,” Keith answered with a small shrug, because that had always been true. Keith winced a little when Lance’s lips went into a thin line, eyebrows dropping and gaze blank. Keith wasn’t making his point well. “But Iverson is an idiot!”

Lance snorted at him, gaze bordering on condescending as he took in Keith’s words. Keith frowned, cocking his head a little at the look. “Thanks, Keith, but you don’t need to make me feel better –“ 

“I’m not. Lance you are a great pilot and paladin. You’re smart, way smarter than me; you come up with great strategic plans and then execute them perfectly. You’re a great shot, even better than Shiro. I’m a terrible shot,” Keith rambled, voice rising in passion as he spoke and probably waking up any poison robots left in the cave wall. Keith couldn’t bring himself to care when Lance’s gaze grew wider and more watery with every word. “You’re great at giving directions and explaining things, and you’re never a jerk when I don’t get them right away when you use hand signals, you just explain them differently. And you have great social skills and you’re able to make friends with lots of different people, and even that’s not a piloting skill, Shiro always says diplomacy is important. Iverson is an _asshole_ , trust me.” 

“Thanks, Keith. That means a lot to me, coming from you,” Lance muttered in a wavering tone as Keith gave his shoulder another squeeze before letting go. Lance gave him an unbearably soft look that Keith couldn’t stop himself from returning, light blush returning to his cheeks as he took a step back from Lance.

Keith turned more fully towards the front of the gave, though one eye was still glued to that warm, intoxicating smile on Lance’s face. “Don’t worry about it –“

* * *

Except Keith never got to finish his sentence, a few dozen robots suddenly coming into the cave from the front and the ceiling. At least none of them were the poisonous kind, small miracles. Lance sighed, pulling at his gun and aiming toward the ones in the front. Keith caught his eye from where he was currently stabbing one near him and nodded. Keith would take the ones up close; Lance would take the ones that were far away.

“Lean left,” Lance called as Keith swung slicing through the middle of one robot as Lance shot one making the same movement – oh. The robots were moving in synch with each other. Lance didn’t know if there was a reason or if they’d gotten hit with a lucky design flaw, but either way he was gonna work with it. “Now right!”

“Got it,” Keith called as he went to move, pausing suddenly with his sword midway through the air, frown so small and adorable Lance almost forgot to shoot the robot aiming tiny laser beams at him. “Wait my right or –“ 

“Our left,” Lance called, suddenly, a plan coming to mind as he jumped backwards toward Keith, looping their free arms together so they were back to back like that time at the pool. Hopefully they’d learned to move together a little better since then (though Lance would like to note they didn’t fall to their deaths, so really they couldn’t have been doing that bad of a job).

“Good thinking Lance,” Keith answered back, swinging his sword in time with Lance’s shots. They moved across the cavern with a kind of ease Lance normally associated with dancing, Lance offering the firm strength and Keith the flexibility and quick motions that had robot after robot falling to their ground in a pile of rubble. 

“Right, Left – toward the entrance,” Lance called when there were only four robots left, Keith swiftly turning them around in a circle so they could take the next to at in one quick circular motion. Lance twisted a little to grin over at Keith, who smirked back playfully as he eyed the last two robots. 

“Hey, this is going a lot better than the last time we were back to back,” Keith said suddenly as they approached the last two robots, voice light and teasing as he pressed closer to Lance.

“You got better at listening to directions,” Lance muttered back to him; grin wide as Keith playfully rolled his eyes at him as he lifted his sword up in the air.

“You got better at not elbowing me in the ribs,” Keith answered with a small snort, before gracefully lunging forward at the same time Lance pulled his trigger. The two robots fell to the ground, electronic limbs shaking for a minute before going still. There were none left, but Lance kept his guard up as they ran from the cave, arms still looped together. 

“Well, I think we did pretty well out there, and we kept the robot army from getting anywhere near the village or the others,” Lance said as they got outside, both of them glancing up to find three lions flying across the sky above them. He waited for Keith to let go of his arm, but Keith didn’t, gaze still glued to the sky and more likely the forest above him. Nerd. “We make a good team.”

And then it happened. Keith squeezed Lance’s arm gently but instead of letting go, Keith _curled_ against him. His helmet clinked against the metal of Lance’s shoulder armor softly, body warm where it pressed against Lance’s own. Seconds passed without Lance being aware of anything, mind in a near future where they’d touched marks and were dating. He saw endless moments of Keith making confused pouts at him, Keith jumping to his defense in every situation and protecting him even when Lance didn’t need it, of Keith cuddling with Lance and holding his hand all the time because Keith was just adorable and – 

Keith apparently was picturing something else, given how he dove away from Lance like he’d been hit. Keith twists around, glaring at no one and squeezing his bayard tightly, like he was going to stab the concept of a hug. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t a reaction to cuddling with him.

Well, okay, Lance could admit it still kind of was.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that,” Keith said, taking a breath as he gave Lance an apologetic look before turning and doing a light sprint towards Red and Blue. Lance rolled his eyes but followed, knowing Keith couldn’t avoid him forever. They’d both be in the hangar in a few minutes.

“Yeah, okay, you can put your sword away,” Lance called from where he chased behind him, grabbing onto Blue like a lifeline. Blue gave him a knowing look, and Keith stilled to where he was climbing into Red, sword turning back into a bayard. They didn’t banter on the way back this time. 

“Stop avoiding me!” Lance yelled as Keith started to bolt from Red, the other boy freezing comically as he took off his helmet. Lance followed suit, setting it aside as he marched over to Keith and lightly poked him in the chest. “Look, I thought I knew what was going on here, that you were disappointed your soulmate was a seventh wheel.”

Keith opened his mouth, glaring only to close it again and scrunch his eyebrows a little. Maybe Keith was finally realizing that whatever plan he’d made was a bad one. “Seventh wheel? What are you talking about –“

“But unless you were lying when you showered me with praise back there, which I know you weren’t because you’re a terrible liar, I’m not your problem,” Lance cut Keith off, frustration bleeding into his tone as he poked Keith in the chest again. Keith opened and closed his mouth, likely realizing he couldn’t argue with Lance without proving his point. 

Keith’s gaze grew distant, mouth pressed into a thin line as his hands balled into fists. The last time Lance saw him make that expression was right before the Blade of Marmora, or maybe right after he cut his hair. Lance stiffened, ready for the yelling. This time, however, Keith sounded desperate, not angry. “Of course you’re not the problem!”

“Then what is?” Lance asked as he pulled his hand back, trying to keep his voice level as he took in the swirling emotions in Keith’s expression. It was like a beautiful, painful mosaic of hurt and frustration and something else Lance couldn’t place. 

“I’m the problem! I’m trying to protect you from me,” Keith shouted, shaking his arms in the air as though it were obvious. Lance blinked, slowly reaching out to grasp one of Keith’s shoulders, some of the fight going out of the other boy as he slumped forward. 

“Keith, what are you talking about?” Lance asked softly, feeling a little lost here. He knew that Keith’s self-esteem hadn’t been as good as he’d thought after the Shiro incident, but he thought getting Shiro back and Shiro treating him differently would fix that. Instead it seemed like Keith was just as sure he wasn’t good enough, but less able to cover it up. Lance just didn’t get _why._  

“Think about it, Lance,” Keith muttered as he pushed off Lance’s hand surprisingly gently, giving him a small smile that looked more like a grimace. Lance nodded, face blank as Keith took that as a cue they were done talking and walked away. Keith seemed to think Lance understood what he meant, when in reality he’d never been more confused. 

Time to go see Hunk. Lance found the other boy in his room, tinkering with a robot and sat on his bed unceremoniously dropping his face in his hands. Hunk raised an eyebrow, gesturing for Lance to go ahead and start talking, so Lance recounted the mission from their end of things in perfect detail.

“And then he left, so yeah, I’m thinking about it, but it still makes no sense,” Lance finished his story, shaking his head a little in frustration just from recounting what happened. He and Keith had really gotten over a few hurdles today, only for it to end so awkwardly. Life wasn’t fair; it was just confusing and full of pretty moody boys. “Like, protect me from him? We’re on the same side and we were really bonding until then.”

“Yeah, don’t think that’s what he meant,” Hunk answered with a small snort as he did something that made the robot in his hand let out a light squeak. Hunk glanced over at him, frowning a little as though considering what he was about to say. “But look, I’m not sure this as weird as you think. The thinking he’s the issue part." 

Lance raised an eyebrow, turning around and sliding one leg underneath him so he was facing Hunk more head on. The way Hunk said that had felt … loaded for lack of a better word. Loaded in a way that made Lance a little nervous. “What are you talking about?”

“When we were on that mission to the Weblum he said some stuff about being afraid of us hating him,” Hunk explained softly as he set the robot down, meeting Lance’s gaze with a worried one of his own. Lance felt his heart sink a little, but reminded himself that Hunk might be overreacting. That had been a pretty bad day for Keith, after all. “And he freaked out when Pidge tried to leave and when Shiro vanished, and even with the Allura thing …” 

“The Allura thing?” Lance asked, raising an eyebrow as he considered everything else Hunk said about Keith’s reactions so far.

“Maybe he thought the best plan was to leave Allura there because he figured we’d do that to him,” Hunk answered back, voice soft and a little regretful. Lance bit his lip, feeling the same way. They’d called him cold and selfish, when Keith was probably used to … someone, maybe Iverson and the other heads at the Garrison (Lance didn’t know anyone else Keith interacted with on the regular), telling him they’d leave him behind in a second. No wonder he went AWOL the moment Shiro left. Lance would’ve too. 

“Okay, yeah. Yeah, this is … starting to add up,” Lance agreed, letting out a small sigh as he curled his long limbs in on each other a little. Keith was afraid of being left behind, of being rejected. This wasn’t just the Garrison, couldn’t be. Someone broke Keith’s heart before Lance even got there. But there was still one question lingering in Lance’s mind. “But what about the protection part?”

“Yeah, don’t have all the answers here, Lance,” Hunk answered back with a small, apologetic shrug as he picked the robot up again, gaze dropping to his work. Lance flopped on the pillow next to him. “You’re gonna have to try and find that out from the source.” 

Lance snorted. Yeah, because he’d had so much luck with that so far.

* * *

Keith frowned as he gazed at the list he’d made and hung on his wall for now, small red strings connecting different traits that might be even worse when combined. It reminded him a little of his wall for Blue, except instead of actual connections it was just words like ‘hot-headed’ and ‘stubborn’ and ‘doesn’t understand any of Lance’s references’ hung up on little scraps of paper. Proof he wasn’t right for Lance. Somehow it all seemed stupid laid out in front of him. Maybe because of how happy Lance had looked when Keith defended him yesterday. Keith was about to add ‘moody’ when he heard his door open. He really hoped it was Coran again.

No such luck as Keith turned his head to find himself face to face with Shiro instead, the other boy’s eyes going wide as he took in the wall in front of him, reaching his metal arm out firmly. Oh. He was going to rip it down. Yeah, that made sense.

“Shiro! I know this looks bad,” Keith said as he darted in front of the wall, putting his hands up pleadingly. He couldn’t let Shiro destroy all his hard work when he’d barely gotten started. Not when … okay, Keith’s motives weren’t 100% clear to himself anymore either. But he could deal with that later.

“Yeah, Keith, it really does,” Shiro said in a soft but firm tone as he carefully pushed Keith aside like he was Pidge. Keith pouted a little and reminded himself to focus more on muscle building the next time he trained. Shiro pulled the wall down with a soft thud, looking at with hard eyes, before turning a much softer gaze towards Keith. “Look, I know you’ve been really anxious about the future lately, buddy, but this isn’t going to help. 

“No, this isn’t about that!” Keith snapped, crossing his arms and huffing as Shiro pressed one arm against his shoulder. Keith felt like he was 14 and had an unrequited crush on Matt Holt again, and yeah, he really hated it (he should also get Shiro to promise to never tell Pidge about that, but later). He just felt so … young.

“Then what is it about?” Shiro asked as he glanced at Keith giving him a crooked smile, as though remembering the same thing Keith was, and that made Keith relax just a fraction.

“Lance,” Keith said, as though his name was answer enough. It wasn’t going by the blank look that Shiro gave him, a small frown coming across his face as he set the flaw map down and gestured for Keith to continue. “I need Lance to hate me.”

“That isn’t really helping your case,” Shiro said, cocking his head a little as Keith let out a small sigh, mostly annoyed with himself. He wasn’t explaining this well. “And we kind of need Lance not to hate you for Voltron.” 

“Not hate. Dislike,” Keith corrected with a small nod, gaze becoming determined as he realized he needed to be direct to get Shiro on the same page as him. Shiro and his bond had always been cemented on honesty, and even if Keith hadn’t understood how Shiro felt before, that part of it didn’t need to change. Changing it had only caused chaos and Keith was tired of chaos. “Look Lance is … Lance is likely my soulmate. There are no guarantees but there’s a lot of evidence –“ 

“Keith, I’m not helping you make your soulmate hate you,” Shiro told him slowly, eyebrows scrunching as he stared down at Keith. Keith crossed his arms a little; deflating as he realized Shiro was still on a different page than him. He forgot for a second that Shiro had found a perfect soulmate in Allura. He couldn’t know what it was like to have a soulmate who was going to realize he was too good for you. “You do understand that makes this whole plan, which was already bad, make even less sense, right?”

“Look, Lance is a really good person,” Keith explained, voice small as Shiro raised an eyebrow at him. He hadn’t thought telling Shiro this through.“ And he deserves for his soulmate to be one too.” 

“So he’s lucky that you are one,” Shiro said, voice warm and confident as he patted Keith on the shoulder. Keith glanced up at him, glaring a little because he didn’t need to be coddled. He wasn’t actually 14 again, even if it did make him a _little_ better. But that didn’t change the fact that Shiro was wrong. 

“But I’m not – I’m not good enough for him, I have a lot of issues,” Keith finally spat out, arms flailing a little as he tried to put well, everything in his life leading up to this revelation into words. At least Shiro knew most of it already. Shiro’s smile was still warm as his metal arm came up to gently clamp Keith on his other shoulder, looking down at him with a worried gaze.

“So do I, do you think I’m not good enough for Allura?” Shiro asked pointedly, raising a wry eyebrow as Keith started to fidget a little under his stare. Of course that wasn’t what he meant, Keith thought Shiro deserved the best soulmate and Allura was starting to feel like a big sister to him. But just because things worked out for Shiro and Allura didn’t mean they would for Lance and him. They were different people. “Keith, you’re not going to convince me you’re a bad person. You’re not. And destiny doesn’t put two people together if they’re not meant for each other.”

“You don’t get it,” Keith finally muttered with a low sigh, not able to come up with a better argument. The only one he had was the nervousness in his stomach, the cold fear running through his veins, and Shiro wasn’t going to be moved by that. Shiro let go of his shoulders, seeming to realize they’d reached an impasse. “I’m going to train.”

“Okay, but don’t overwork yourself, and I’m here if you need to talk later, okay?” Shiro said as Keith reached his door, lips quirked into a sad smile. Keith gave a short nod before darting out of the room, hoping the swing of his bayard would make him feel better. 

It didn’t though; it mostly just reminded Keith he’d barely slept in the five days since Lance revealed he knew they were soulmates. His mind was haunted by dreams of being abandoned again, mostly by Lance, but sometimes by Shiro or his dad for variety. They followed Keith into his waking hours, coldly reminding him of what he didn’t deserve, what he shouldn’t take, and training or the long, hot shower afterwards didn’t make them go away. 

But mindless television might, and Keith flopped down on the couch tiredly, grinning a little when he saw _Forest Fighters_ , his favorite Altean drama, was on. At least not everything was going badly.

“Hey, you look exhausted,” Lance’s voice suddenly rang out as the other boy hopped over the couch until he landed next to Keith, spreading out just a little too casually to be genuine. So much for things not going wrong. Keith wasn’t ready to deal with any of this right now. “What are you watching?” 

“It’s an Altean show about a group of Olkari and Altean warriors,” Keith answered, deciding to just … not worry about the other stuff right now. It could wait. _Forest Fighters_ was on right now. “They protect the forest from attack, it’s pretty good.”

“Oh my god, it sounds like your dream future,” Lance snorted, laughing a little as he leaned closer to Keith, the tension from a second ago leaving his lanky frame. Keith pouted at him, crossing his arms a little because, okay yeah, becoming a park ranger but with a sword was one of his childhood dreams. Sue him. “Is this like your Mirror of Erised moment?” 

“My what? What mirror?” Keith asked, cocking his head a little as the theme song started, glancing over at the starting credits, shots of trees and strange, unknown animals spreading in front of them. When he glanced back at Lance, the other boy was still staring at him in confusion, gaze confused and also a little like he felt bad for Keith. 

“Okay, so Indiana Jones yes, Harry Potter no,” Lance asked as he leaned further into the couch, so that his and Keith’s shoulders were touching. Keith calmly reminded himself that friends did that as he glanced up at Lance. He nodded a little, shrugging. He knew what Harry Potter was, but he’d never read it before. His dad mostly stuck with the classics. “Just trying to figure out how much I need to teach you about pop culture.” 

“My dad mostly liked 80s movies,” Keith answered with a small shrug, as he curled into the couch. He caught Lance nod thoughtfully at his words, like he was actually filing that information away for later. The thought made Keith smile, a warm feeling running through his veins. 

The episode is one Keith has seen before, the familiar patterns and lines lulling him into a half-asleep state. He barely noticed as his head found its way to something soft yet firm. He should have noticed when he slid his fingers through something soft and warm, a space where they fit perfectly. But he didn’t for the entire ending song of the show.

So three minutes, Keith glanced down at his hand in a slow dawning horror. He’d been holding Lance’s hand for three minutes and resting his head on his shoulder for God knows how long. And Lance hadn’t even reacted, was just staring at him curiously, softly hopeful in a way that made guilt flare in Keith’s chest. 

“I’m sorry! Again,” Keith said as he carefully untangled their hands, not wanting to hurt Lance. He stood up a second later, taking a few steps away from where Lance was sitting on the couch, the other man crossing his arms loosely and letting out a small sigh. Keith bit his lip apologetically as Lance stood up and took a few steps toward him. 

“Hey, I’m not mad, but you really got to stop with the mixed messages, Keith,” Lance said with a small snort, running a hand through his hair as he looked over at Keith. He scrunched his eyebrows as glanced down at Keith, and there was an exhaustion in his eyes that made Keith feel tired too. “One second we’re having fun, talking, you’re cuddling up against me and its adorable. The next you’ve thrown yourself across the room.”

Keith nodded, crossing his own arms and frowning at himself. He let things go to far and now he’d hurt Lance when he was trying to do the opposite. “Look, I’ll stop –“ 

“I don’t want you to stop. Look, can we at least talk about being soulmates, Keith?” Lance asked, the tiredness still there, but a slow growing hope that made Keith want to run away again. But he’d been doing too much of that lately, and it wasn’t … it wasn’t fair to Lance not to be upfront with him.

(And a small, treacherous part of him didn’t want to stop cuddling with Lance either).

* * *

“We did,” Keith said, though there was none of his usual conviction behind it. That gave Lance enough hope to uncross his arms and let them hang by his sides instead, cocking his head a little at Keith.

“No, you told me you had to protect me and then avoided me for two days,” Lance reminded him with a small frown. Keith had the good grace to look guilty, muttering something under his breath about a plan. Lance decided to ask later. They had more pressing issues at hand. Like why Keith didn’t want to bond with him even though his mark was clearly in overdrive, when he actually liked Lance, when he was Keith. “I don’t need protection from you." 

“Yeah you do,” Keith insisted, glaring up at Lance with one of his signature Keith Kim pouts, arms crossing tighter against his chest. Back at the Garrison and the first few weeks here, Lance thought that expression met anger. But he has learned to read Keith’s pouts, the intensity of his glares and what the emotion behind them actually was. This one meant he felt anxious. Anxious. Afraid. He and Hunk we’re right. 

“Look, I know you’re afraid I’m gonna reject you,” Lance said, letting his annoyance and hope bleed equally into his tone, taking a step towards Keith. Keith turned to run, again, and Lance couldn’t stop himself from gently grabbing his shoulder, though the words that followed were angry and frustrated. “But maybe your exes or your favorite teacher or whatever wouldn’t have if you didn’t try so hard to push everyone away! Did you ever think of that?”

“Oh,” Keith muttered in an empty voice, confirming the regret that was already filling Lance. He went too far. He’d crossed a line. Keith looked up at him, expression muted and small and just not a look that should ever be on Keith’s face. Keith was fire and passion and almost too much. Emptiness didn’t suit him. Then Keith smiled at him, small and soft and nowhere near his eyes. “Look, you can come talk to me in the morning if you want. I need to sleep right now.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning, Keith,” Lance said instead of apologizing, walking out of the room before Keith could beat him to the punch. He needed to know how wrong he’d gotten things, but Lance had the feeling Keith wasn’t in the right headspace to tell him. And so Lance decided to do the next best thing and go to the Source’s best friend. 

That was how Lance found himself outside of Shiro’s door, knocking just a little too hard in case it turned our Shiro wasn’t alone in there. “Shiro? Can we talk?”

“What’s up, Lance?” Shiro said as the door swiped open, Lance darting in and taking a seat on Shiro’s bed. Shiro raised an eyebrow as the door shut behind him, sitting down next to Lance and cocking an eyebrow. Lance let out a small sigh, running his hand through his hair again as he tried to get the courage up to explain himself. 

“Look, I – Keith and I are soulmates, which I wouldn’t be telling you without him except I think I messed up,” Lance spat out, looking down at his hands as he squeezed them together in his lap. When Lance looked up, Shiro didn’t look surprised, gaze patient even as his brow furrowed a little bit.

“Keith implied as much. What happened?” Shiro asked carefully, but his tone was warm as he glanced at Lance. Apparently Keith hadn’t talked to him since Lance said what he did. He didn’t know if that was better or worse.

“I said – I said maybe the reason he got rejected before was because he pushed people away, and he looked … gone,” Lance admitted with a sigh, wincing a little at the momentarily blank expression on Shiro’s face. At least that wasn’t as off-putting as when it was on Keith’s face. 

“Oh, Lance,” Shiro murmured with a sigh, frowning as he ran over his face. He didn’t seem angry so much as concerned as he glanced over at Lance, his other hand pressing tightly against the bed. “When we first all met up again, Keith was living alone in a shack, even though he was 17 when he got thrown out of the Garrison.”

“Yeah, he was all … oh. He didn’t get dumped, did he?” Lance asked slowly, realization hitting him. Whoever abandoned Keith hadn’t just been an ex or a teacher. It had been someone who was never supposed to abandon Keith at all. Lance clenched his fists lightly, shaking his head softly. He messed up.

Shiro glanced over at him, nodding softly as he saw that Lance understood his implication. Then he smiled a little ruefully. “No, and then the other issue is well, me, but we’re working on that. You helped.” 

Lance glanced over at Shiro, frowning a little as he didn’t say anything else. “With the first one –“ 

“Not my story to tell,” Shiro cut him off, gaze serious as he caught Lance’s own. Lance nodded, frowning a little. Shiro was right; he needed to learn that from Keith if they were going to finally get on the same page. “Just make sure he knows you didn’t know. That’s a start.”

“Right, thanks Shiro,” Lance said with a soft smile, standing up from the bed and glancing at the door. Tomorrow was suddenly a very important. Shiro nodded and returned the smile, patting Lance on the back before sending him on his way. 

Lance didn’t get much sleep that night, but that was okay because Keith woke up at 4 AM most of the time, so he didn’t have to lie in his bed for too long. He knocked at Keith’s door, surprised when the other boy came out yawning, hair fluffy and sleep ruffled and falling across his face.

“You’re here really early,” Keith murmured, patting his hair a little from where it stuck up around his face. He frowned when it just puffed back up, frowning slightly at Lance like it was his fault (maybe it didn’t do that when it was a mullet because it didn’t have the will to live). 

“This is kind of a big deal for me Keith,” Lance said softly, giving Keith a pointed look as his expression went from sleepy to serious, eyebrows scrunching and frown deepening as crossed his arms nervously. “Why don’t you want to be soulmates?”

Keith let out a small sigh; glancing down at the floor and then back at Lance, glare replaced with wide eyes and a pained expression. Keith grimaced a little, gaze growing a little steelier before he started talking, as though he was trying to protect himself. “Look Lance, you’re great and I’m a mess. It’s for your – 

“You’re honest, sometimes to a fault, passionate, protective, sensitive,” Lance cut him off before Keith could say anything else, grinning more and more brightly as he lifted off each trait. Keith winced a little at sensitive, and Lance made a mental note to come back to that later, but to make sure Keith knew Lance liked it right now. “Sensitive which is a _good_ thing, and you’re devoted to Shiro and going by your Iverson rant, me now and probably everyone else since you’re always protecting Hunk and Pidge in fights. I like you Keith. I liked those things about you before I knew we were soulmates, I was just too insecure and jealous to fully get it.”

“I – I still have flaws,” Keith murmured, though the argument sounded weak and Keith’s gaze was darting everywhere but at Lance, the same way it did when he tried to lie to someone.

“Yeah, no shit Keith, so do I, so does everyone,” Lance pointed out, shrugging at the small shake of Keith’s head, because he definitely did and under more normal circumstances Keith wouldn’t hesitate to agree with him. “My point is I’m getting your martyr argument out of the way since you’re great, so we can get to the real issue here.” 

“That being?” Keith asked softly, arms falling to his side as he leaned against the wall. His gaze was wary but curious, and that was at least some progress past Keith running away or one of them saying the wrong thing. Lance could work with progress.

Lance took a deep breath, before just deciding there was no good way to say this, no way it wouldn’t be uncomfortable for both of them. Better to get it over with so Lance can try and fix his mistake. “You’re scared. You’re afraid I’ll leave you.” 

“It wasn’t an ex. It was my dad,” Keith murmured in a small voice, cracking slightly on the word ‘dad’. Then Keith stared at Lance, eyes sad and filled with old hurt, but also a challenge, a determination that filled Lance with a kind of joy because it looked so much like Keith even through the pain. “I was 8 and I woke up and he was gone. Then both my foster homes sent me back because I cried too much, and then Shiro left. Twice.”

“First of all, your foster parents were assholes. Second of all, Shiro didn’t leave you. He was kidnapped by the Galra and then stuck inside the Black Lion. And you … you don’t know if your dad left because he wanted to or had to,” Lance said the last part slowly, carefully because it wasn’t quite his place, but Lance needed Keith to know. Keith’s eyes widened, expression slowly growing softer, tears clearly building behind his eyes. “Look, Keith, I’m not pretending things haven’t been unfair. From the sounds of it, it’s been a lot of bullshit you were way too young for, that you’re probably too young for now. But as far as we know, no one has left you by choice. Maybe it’s time to give yourself – and me – the benefit of the doubt about leaving too.” 

“Okay,” Keith said after a beat, nodding firmly and suddenly looking just as determined as when Shiro asked him to do something badass in Red, taking a step toward Lance and looking up at him. He gave him a small smile, cheekier than the nervous look in his gaze, and yeah, Lance didn’t quite know what was going on here. Keith seemed to realize they weren’t on the same page, letting out a small, shaky laugh. “I mean, let’s go out. I want to make sure this works even without the bond, so go on a few dates with me first.” 

“Deal,” Lance answered with a wide grin, leaning over and ruffling Keith’s hair a little. “But that means the first one is gonna be right now, so get ready to be romanced.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I finally updated after two months of many people helping me figure out how to take this story forward! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope everyone has a good time reading it!


	7. Four Dates and a Healing Pod

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may note this chapter was published twice. There was a screw up with the date! Sorry for any confusion this may have caused!
> 
> Also all alien names in this chapter were made up off the top of my head, so if they end up being the same as any real life word (especially if there is any offense!) please let me know!

Keith watched as Lance turned on his heel, all confidence and long legs swiftly spanning the hallway like he has no question Keith would follow him. The only hint that it was partially an act was Lance glancing over his shoulder, the nervousness in his gaze turning to relief when he saw Keith following him. Keith gave him an awkward half-smile, cocking his head a little as Lance walked past the hangar without so much as a glance. Apparently this date didn’t include Red or Blue.

Maybe they were going to spar? But no, Lance walked past the training room without so much as a glance. Keith frowned, because that covered most of what he did everyday and half of what Lance did. If they passed the space they’d dubbed a living room, that would be everything, as far Keith knew. And they did. Oh God, was their first date going to be in one of their bedrooms? Keith still hadn’t gotten his poster of flaws off the floor where Shiro ripped it down. He couldn’t let Lance see that. “Where are we going?” 

“To the kitchen,” Lance said, glancing back at him with a wide grin, though there was still nervousness in his eyes that made Keith’s stomach do flip-flops too. But … of all the answers Keith expected, the kitchen hadn’t really been one of them.

“ . . . You’re bringing Hunk to our date?” Keith asked slowly, eyebrows pinching together. On one hand, Keith is pretty nervous because it wasn’t like dating is in his skill set, but he kind of thought this was going to be a one-on-one thing. Keith didn’t need witnesses to how badly he was going to blow it. They stop outside the kitchen doors, Lance raising an eyebrow at Keith, lips pressed into a thin line that seemed more confused than angry. Okay, so Hunk wasn’t coming on this date. “Coran?”

“No, doofus, we’re going to be making breakfast for ourselves,” Lance answered back with a small snort, gesturing for Keith to follow him inside. Keith did after a beat, arms crossed and eyes narrowed in a way that usually made people assume he was mad even though he was just deeply uncomfortable. Lance seemed to be catching on, giving him a small worried smile as he picked up one of Hunk’s aprons.

The thing is, Keith didn’t know how to cook. At all. He was going to be useless and Lance would see that, and Keith was just … he still thought there was a good chance this whole experiment would end with Lance realizing he didn’t want Keith as a soulmate, but he didn’t want it over before it began, either. Keith had some pride. He grabbed an apron and tried to return Lance’s smile, though he was pretty sure his own was more of a grimace. “Oh. Right.” 

“Don’t look so nervous, I’m not bad with every type of blade,” Lance said suddenly, smirking as he twisted a knife in the air before playfully pointing it in Keith’s direction. Keith couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped his lips. “In fact, when it comes to a knife I might be better than _you_.”

“Oh, you’re on,” Keith muttered as he grabbed a knife of his own, catching Lance’s eye and smirking the same way he did when they were competing in training sessions, though something about this felt safer, softer. Lance smirked back, tossing his blue pear like thing in the air before slamming it down on the counter and wielding his knife. Somehow Keith didn’t think Hunk would approve of that method.

Keith sliced his own vegetables carefully and methodically, hitting each fruit (vegetable? Keith honestly had no idea) straight down the middle before chopping it into smaller pieces. By fifteen minutes in, he had nearly triple what Lance had sliced. Though a part of that was Lance feeling the need to constantly toss his fruit in the air and him watching Keith like a hawk.

“Wow, you are really good with a knife,” Lance murmured as he finished slicing the last of his own fruit, a slight bit of awe in his gaze. Keith flushed a little under the look, crossing his arms as he dropped the knife to the counter and waited for the fear and questions that usually followed the awe. He didn’t expect the sudden bright smile or Lance poking him in the shoulder. “Was that your job at home or something?”

“Job at home?” Keith asked, cocking his head a little and raising his eyebrows in confusion. Why would he have needed to use a knife at home at all? Lance winced, almost imperceptibly if Keith hadn’t been so close to him.

 “Oh, nothing! My family, we just all cooked together,” Lance answered a little too quickly, smile still huge as though the wince never happened. Keith didn’t know why it had, and he took a step closer to Lance and looked up, trying to make it clear he was interested. Lance’s family sounded nice. Whole. Keith wanted to learn all about them, to learn all about Lance. “My dad was the main chef, but he’d give us all little jobs to do. I was in charge of the salad, and lemme tell you Keith, I make one gorgeous salad.”

“As gorgeous as Coran?” Keith said with a small quirk of his lips, glancing up at Lance who stared back blankly for a second before laughing, loud and bright in a way that makes Keith’s heart soar up to his chest. “We mostly ate fast food and ready meals.” 

The laughter faded after Keith said that, something soft and worried entering Lance’s gaze as his hand found his way to Keith’s shoulder. Keith barely remembered this was a date and not to shake it off. “Keith –“

“At the group homes, but dad too,” Keith continued, smiling fondly at the memory of his dad coming in with a bag of McDonalds in one hand and one of every plant under the sun for Keith to try out so they could grow it in their backyard garden. Lance’s gaze was still soft, but the concern shifted into something warmer as he let go of Keith’s shoulder, fingers still lingering. “He threw in fruit and vegetables for me, but he didn’t know how to cook so it was a lot of chicken nuggets and baby carrots.”

“Doesn’t sound too different from the Garrison,” Lance said with a small, wry smile, pulling out a bowl from the cupboard and a tool that looked almost like a whisk. “Hey, did you ever take the Garrison Galley class?”

“The what?” Keith asked as he glanced up at Lance, who was throwing all of the fruit into a bowl and then adding fake flour and sugar with Hunk’s makeshift measuring cup. Lance glanced back up at him and shrugged, smile small and surprisingly gentle, the same way it was when he missed a pop culture reference or didn’t understand a joke.

“It was a class where you could go learn to cook your own food, I think Hunk was the only one who took it and it was only to shame the chefs for how poorly they used spices,” Lance explained as he swiftly moved around Keith to the fridge, taking out the milk. Keith still didn’t want to know why there were or what it meant that there were cows in space. Keith nodded back as Lance spoke, because he’d never paid too much attention to anything but his classes and Shiro at the Garrison. He probably missed a lot of clubs.

“Right, his mom is a chef,” Keith said with a small laugh as Lance finished his story, because he could just see Hunk now, wielding his whisk and kindly but firmly lecturing every chef in the Garrison like a teenage Gordon Ramsay.

Lance though, looked at him with wide eyes, cocking his head a little as he handed Keith a whisk. “You knew that?”

“You guys have talked about it before in the living room,” Keith answered with a small shrug, glancing down at the bowl in front of him nervously. Keith pulled the milk in and started stirring, comforted by watching the ingredients blend into something new, something better. He needed to focus on something to try and banish the warm flush spreading across his cheeks at the curious state Lance gave him. “Sometimes I listen.”

“Well, you’re always welcome to talk too, Keith,” Lance said with a small scoff, but there was no annoyance, no resentment behind his words. Their teasing and light, and they made Keith feel a little lighter too, even as he was pretty sure he was stirring the dough too aggressively. “Speaking of food, what did you hunt in the desert?”

“What are you talking about?” Keith asked with a confused frown, one that gave way to shock as Lance came up behind him and wrapped himself around Keith’s upper body, gently gripping both of Keith’s arms as he slows down his stirring pace. Keith stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed letting himself lean back against Lance as the other boy guided him.

“In the desert? You know, when you were living off the land, getting water from cacti?” Lance said and his mouth was right by Keith’s ear, so Keith gets the full rich tone of his voice, the bright timbre and loose cadence, and it matched the tender way he was holding Keith as they stirred the dough (or whatever this was) together. It was almost enough for Keith to miss the bizarreness of what Lance just said. Almost.

“I had a part time job at the grocery store and they let me eat lunch there for free,” Keith answered with a small laugh, leaning back against Lance further so he can look up to see his face. He expected the gentle teasing when he didn’t know a movie, not the slight stiffening of Lance’s arms around his and Lance’s face and neck heating up under the florescent lights of the kitchen. Why would Lance look so embarrassed over Keith working at a grocery store - “Wait did you think I scavenged off the land?”

“Keith, you built explosives and stole a hover bike,” Lance defended himself, body loosening again even as his face takes on a self-righteous expression in the face of Keith’s laughter.

“Yeah, Google exists and the Garrison has shit security,” Keith said and he couldn’t stop the soft laughter (some people might call them giggles) escaping his throat as he buried his face In Lance’s shoulder. After a minute Lance started laughing too, the bowl all but abandoned below them as Lance’s hands come up to pull Keith’s own from his face, Lance’s gaze warm as he stares at Keith’s wide eyes and cheeks that are flushed from laughter. “You know I grew up near Houston and not in _Mad Max_ right?”

“You’re really ruining the mystique you built up at the Garrison here, Keith,” Lance muttered between bursts of laughter, carefully untangling himself from Keith as he grabbed a muffin tin from the counter. Keith shrugged casually and tried not to let it show on his face that missed the cuddling. It was way too early for that. “Next you’re gonna tell me you never fought a wolf with your bare hands and won.”

Keith watched as Lance rolled the dough into a ball and the grabbed a handful of his own and copied him, making tiny balls and laying them out in each tin. He glanced up at Lance, pouting a little with scrunched eyebrows as he finished the last of the dough balls. Lance raised an eyebrow at the expression as he grabbed the tray, sliding it in the oven. “That wasn’t really a rumor, was it?”

“… No, it wasn’t. Here, lemme give you some help with that,” Lance said, letting out a snort at the first half of Keith’s sentence. Keith swore he heard Lance call him naive under his breath as Lance reached for the flour bag Keith had already picked up. Then a mischievous glint entered Lance’s gaze and Keith knew where this was going, but he couldn’t do anything to stop it as a fistful of flour suddenly hit his face.

“Hey, hey you got makeshift flour in my eyes,” Keith murmured softly, closing his eyes and rubbing at them with a small pout. It wasn’t a lie, though it didn’t hurt so much as just feel really weird around his eyelashes. Lance still grabbed him by the shoulders gently, looking down at him with worried eyes. It almost made Keith feel guilty for what came next.

“Wait really? I’m sorry – you asshole,” Lance spluttered as Keith suddenly threw a flour in his face so they matched, laughing at the way Lance let go of him to nervously try and push any flour out of his hair.

Keith found his pajama shirt covered in it a second later, and within minutes the entire counter and both of them look like they’ve been dipped in cake batter, Lance pinning him against the sink and holding the bag menacingly over his head while Keith giggles loud enough that he was surprised no one else is going to wake up. Keith took on a mock-solemn expression as he considered the consequences of their actions, Lance seeming to be thinking the same thing as him as he suddenly dropped the bag back down to the counter. “Hunk is going to kill us.”

“Not as long as we clean it up. But first, let’s take a bite of the beautiful cakes we’ve made,” Lance said with a small smile, though the fear of Hunk’s wrath (which Keith has to assume is as deadly as it is rare going by that look) hadn’t completely left his gaze as he turned back to the oven. One thing Keith had to give space, the ovens out here worked a lot faster than the ones on earth and the food always came out the perfect temperature to actually eat it.

Lance cheerfully pulled two mini muffin like things off the plate, handing one to Keith before sticking one in his own mouth. Keith took a small bite of his own and immediately covered his face with his hand to resist the urge to gag. “That’s disgusting.”

“Yeah, no, this was a real bad idea,” Lance muttered, his own face turning green as he dropped the rest of own muffin to the counter, glaring at it as though it had betrayed him with its sickeningly sweet yet somehow vinegar laced flavor. Keith couldn’t help but agree on the muffin, but …

“It wasn’t bad,” Keith murmured as he gently nudged Lance on the shoulder; smile soft as he stared up at the other boy. Going by the gentle look Lance gave him and they way he leaned into Keith, fingers ghosting against his waist, Keith thought Lance knew that he didn’t mean the muffin.

Keith spent the rest of “date” (which mostly consisted of them hurriedly cleaning the kitchen before Hunk woke up and stared at them in disappointment, which Lance assured him was _way_ worse than anger) and the next day pretty much floating on air, standing even closer to Lance than usual and occasionally bumping shoulders with him. It took until almost two days later, when Lance joked about their next date during sparring, for Keith to start panicking.

Honestly, given his current track record, Keith thought that was something to be proud of. It didn’t change the slow growing horror building in his stomach as he made his way to the living room, the last place he saw Shiro. Keith hadn’t thought this whole dating thing through, and now he was terrified he was only going to make things worse. 

“Shiro! Are you busy?” Keith called even as he slid the door open, taking a step inside the room without stopping. A minute later he was glad that Shiro was alone, because if Allura had been there Keith was pretty sure he’d be running for his life right now. Keith would worry about knocking later. Right now he needed help, as much as he hated to admit it. “I can come back later.”

“Not right now, what’s up?” Shiro asked with a small smile, a knowing glint to his eye as he pats the seat on the bed next to him. Keith took the seat, crossing his arms and shifting his feet a little as he stared down at his lap.

“Lance and I went on a date,” Keith spat out, crossing his arms tighter as Shiro made a sound that was suspiciously like a laugh. Keith glanced up at him, gaze tight and worried, but also something else that made Shiro take him a little more seriously, clasping his hands together.

“Well, that’s certainly a 180 from yesterday,” Shiro said, voice neutral, but his gaze was soft and proud and made Keith flush a little as uncrossed his arms, giving Shiro a crooked smile. Then Shiro’s expression changed, light and teasing as he leaned closer to Keith. Shiro reminded him a little of a shark just then. “How was it? Did you throw a scarf at him and say he was too hot too look so cold like with Matt?”

Shiro threw an arm around his shoulder as he spoke, tone casual. But when Keith glanced up at Shiro, the smile on his face could only be described as a shit-eating grin and his eyes were practically glowing. Keith knew that look and he instinctively scowled in return, sticking his tongue out for a second before crossing his arms again, because how dare Shiro bring that up again (especially when he’d considered knitting Lance a scarf). Some things really haven’t changed since he was fourteen. “Haha. We talked about life and ruined the kitchen. It was really good.”

“And the problem is?” Shiro asked, the teasing expression fading into something more caring as he gently squeezes Keith’s shoulder. Keith looks up at him, expression anxious as he uncrossed his arms and let out a small sigh. If he was going to let his guard down around Lance and trust that he wasn’t going to abandon Keith, it wasn’t really fair to keep walls up around Shiro either.

“I have to plan the next date, after all this was my idea,” Keith explained, voice tight as he clenched his fists together, shaking his head a little bit at the prospect. Shiro blinked at him, frowning a little as though he didn’t understand Keith’s point and – oh right. Shiro didn’t actually know what was going on. “I told Lance I’d only try bonding if we went out first.”

“Not an unreasonable request,” Shiro assured him, ruffling his hair a little with his free hand. Keith let out a small sigh of relief, because while he was mostly worried about the actual date, he also didn’t want to be unfair to Lance. He knows a lot of couples didn’t bond right away on earth, but they also weren’t risking their lives on a daily basis, so Keith couldn’t help but feel a little selfish. Knowing Shiro didn’t think he was overreacting helped a little. “But now you’re anxious about your date?”

“Yeah,” Keith admitted, frowning a little as he crossed his arms again, curling into himself a little under Shiro’s watchful gaze. He knew better than anyone how little experience Keith has here.

“I’m sure Lance would be happy just to watch some of the movies he or Pidge have on board together, you don’t need to overthink this,” Shiro said after a beat, giving Keith a reassuring smile. Keith knew Shiro was right, but Lance deserved more than to _just_ be happy. He deserved everything.

“Not good enough. Lance has been – is – great, and I’m some asshole whose never even been hit on,” Keith explained with a small sigh, because he didn’t want to concentrate on that part right now. He didn’t need to add more reasons to the list of why he wasn’t good enough for Lance right now. Shiro frowned at his words, squinting a little at Keith the way Hunk did when he missed a joke. Keith crossed his arms and glared up at Shiro, as determined now as when flew Red. “This date has to be better than the thousands Lance has been on already been on.” 

“Okay first of all, while Lance would love that exaggeration, it’s a huge one,” Hunk’s voice suddenly rang out, and Keith glanced up to find the other boy in the doorway. Hunk bit his lip and pointed at empty space where he was standing, and Keith realized in his panic he’d forgotten to close it after him and Shiro hadn’t bothered, so anyone might have walked by and heard any of that. Great. “Second of all, does this mean you know what I know about what Lance knows?" 

“If you mean their being a thing, then yes,” Shiro said with a small smile as he gestured for Hunk to come in, and unlike Keith, Hunk is actually smart enough to close the door behind him. Then Shiro glanced back at him, smile becoming a little sheepish, even as there is some disbelief in his gaze. “Also, plenty of people hit on you at the Garrison, you just didn’t notice apparently, and I scared them off.”

“What?!” Keith snapped, eyes growing wide and mouth falling open a little, because he has no memory of anyone flirting with him. Shiro just shrugged as though it had been obvious, and Keith will have questions later, but honestly that wasn’t important right now. Hunk and his in depth knowledge of Lance was important. “Whatever, that’s not the point. Hunk, you know about Lance and me?” 

“Yeah, he tried to keep the soulmates thing a secret, but the fake name he chose was Kevin,” Hunk muttered with a small snort, shaking his head fondly. He glances over at Shiro and let out another small laugh. “You were Hiro, he’s not great with names.”

“You can help me,” Keith said, and he knew his gaze was probably a little too intense as he grabbed Hunk by the shoulder. Hunk raised his eyebrows, expression a little lost, but he still nodded along to Keith’s request. Keith decided to take that as a good sign. “Hunk, what kind of date would Lance want? Take him to a isolated planet somewhere to race lions?”

Hunk stared at him blankly for long enough that Keith started to feel awkward, letting go of Hunk’s shoulders to cross his arms tight against his chest. Hunk smiled at him softly, almost apologetically, though his tone was still both incredulous and nervous when he spoke. “Please don’t get yourself and Lance killed by mysterious aliens or plants or whatever, as someone whose friends with both of you that would be a real bummer for me.”

“Right. Okay,” Keith agreed, pouting a little because he got Hunk’s point, but that date would’ve been awesome. He needed a backup that was just as cool and they didn’t exactly have a lot of options. “Sparring? No, that’s too much like training. I could teach him how to sword fight? But his Bayard is a gun, would he even want to learn?”

“How about one of your less stabby hobbies?” Shiro suggested with a grin, ruffling Keith’s hair again. Keith cocked an eyebrow before Shiro’s implication hit him, smiling softly in return. 

“That might work. Hunk, would you do me a favor?” Keith asked, leaning toward the other boy and giving him a hopeful look. Keith would need food for this, and going by yesterday, his own cooking would make less for romance and more for a biohazard warning. 

“For true love? Of course,” Hunk answered with a warm smile, gaze growing soft and dreamy. Keith guessed he was thinking about Shay, and seeing Hunk so happy made Keith’s stomach twist, but for once it was from hope and not longing. Maybe, maybe someday someone would make that expression over Keith too.

Maybe it would be after this date.

* * *

 

Come what they think was Friday (after several weeks of math and practice conversion, Pidge and Hunk had come exhausted to the rest of them and said it was Thursday and not question it, and Lance had been doing his best to keep track ever since), Lance found himself being led through the castle like it was a maze. Keith is squeezing his hand tightly, almost to the point where it hurt, but Lance wasn’t going to complain.

Not when Keith was finally starting to let his guard down about that, leaning his head on Lance’s shoulder during briefings and sitting a little closer to him so their shoulders bumped during team bonding. It was … nice, really nice, to have someone who wanted to be that close to him all the time. Validating. Lance wasn’t going to do anything to jinx it, and besides Keith’s grip softened as they stopped in front of a door, his expression growing more anxious as he hovered his free hand in front of the handle. 

“You’re really cute, you know that right?” Lance murmured as Keith finally grabbed the handle, eyes narrows and lips pressed into a thin line, the same expression he made when facing the enemy. Keith glanced back at him, mouth going into a small “oh” of confusion and Lance shook his head and just barely resisted the urge to laugh. “No reason, just saying.”

“You’re not that bad yourself,” Keith answered fluttering his eyelashes and with a small smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes, which are instead a little nervous. Lance bit his lip, shaking his head and letting some of the laughter peel out as Keith pouted up at him. 

“Not a bad try, babe,” Lance assured him with another chuckle, squeezing Keith’s hand softly as he glanced down at him. Keith was still pouting, but the look in his gaze is warm and a little sheepish, so Lance knew he wasn’t really hurt. Keith’s eyes, now that Lance was really looking at them, gave away pretty much everything. Keith would be a terrible spy, he should tell Shiro about that later. But then Lance forgot both Keith’s expressive eyes or his shaky attempt at flirting because he finds himself surrounded by trees baring rainbow fruit and flowers of every color, a bright red blanket spread out below his feet. “Hey, we’re in your garden!”

“Yeah,” Keith murmured softly, a hint of pride in his gaze when Lance called it his that Lance almost missed as Keith glanced down at the ground. Keith sat down after a second and Lance followed him, spreading his legs out in front of him and watching as Keith grabbed a basket from underneath a space rose bush. “Hunk made us lunch.”

“Didn’t think we should go for a second try?” Lance asked, throwing a hand over his heart in mock-offense. Keith rolled his eyes and gave Lance a playful smile that makes Lance feel warm all over, because a few weeks ago he never even would have thought Keith could smile this much, let alone at _him_.

“That cake chipped Pidge’s tooth,” Keith reminded him with a small scoff as he unwraps the basket, pulling out two sandwiches and little squares Lance knew from experience tasted a little like Lays potato chips. Keith caught Lance’s gaze as he looked up from where he was sitting the juice boxes down, and they both wince a little as they remember the look on Pidge’s face when she bit into her muffin.

“Yeah, we really shouldn’t have left them in the kitchen, that was our bad,” Lance muttered, shaking his head and grimacing. Then they were both laughing, Keith shifting until he was sitting next to Lance, their shoulders gently bumping into each other. Lance gazed around the garden, taking in the thick green canopy above them and the brightly colored flowers surrounding them, to the point where Lance couldn’t even see the walls of the ships. “Keith, it’s gorgeous in here.” 

“Yeah, Coran let me rearrange some of the plants to give it a more natural feel,” Keith explained with a small sigh, leaning a little more toward Lance. Lance takes the unspoken cue and gently wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulder, sighing softly at the feel of his body pressing up against Lance’s like it belonged there. “It’s kind of like being back on earth.” 

“Yeah, a little bit like the woods,” Lance agreed even though he has barely spent any time in nature since he quit the Boy Scouts at 12. But Keith loved nature, loved the quiet. He probably went camping, maybe with his dad before he disappeared. Maybe Keith was homesick too. “Do you miss it?” 

“Earth? I mean yeah, I don’t have people I miss there since Shiro is with us, but I still grew up there,” Keith explained softly, glancing up at Lance with a small smile and a bittersweet look in his gaze. “It’s not the same as you or Hunk or Pidge, but …” 

“Yeah, but now you’ll have people to go back with,” Lance said, squeezing Keith’s shoulder a little. Lance never thought about it before, but suddenly he wanted to give Keith a reason to want to go back to earth, a reason to miss it or the castle. He wanted him – but also all of them – to be somewhere Keith wanted to come back to, because Keith deserved to have that as much as Lance did and Lance had _two_ places like that now. 

“Yeah,” Keith murmured, glancing up at Lance a little like he was the sun for a second, squeezing into his side, and for a second Lance couldn’t breath from how awesome he felt. Keith Kim thought he was the sun, even if only for a minute. 

Then suddenly Keith pulled away, scrambling in one of the bushes again, back tensing for a second and then relaxing just as quickly. Lance blinked a little and wondered if he should tell Keith he was getting his jacket dirty. Then he decided Keith probably wouldn’t care.

“Oh, here,” Keith said as he popped back up from the bush, holding a ridiculous amount of flowers tied with a red “ribbon” Lance suspected was actually Keith’s bandana from when he rescued Shiro. Then Keith shoved them into Lance’s arms and crossed his own, glaring a little – before turning bright red with wide, far away eyes as though he was remembering some other boy who he shoved a gift at (and Lance wasn’t jealous at all). “Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Lance assured him, smiling warmly as he glanced over the bright, fully bloomed flowers. They really were beautiful, and Keith had cared for all of them the past three weeks, which only made them more precious. “Thank you.”

“they’re flowers,” Keith muttered as he uncrossed his arms and leaned forward, light flush still painted across his cheeks as he seemed to take in his own words and winced a little. Lance grinned, patting him on the shoulder lightly and earning a small, mostly playful glare from Keith. “I mean, obviously they are, but the deep purple one there, it’s called Taneki. It symbolizes loyalty. The red one next to is Karnora and it’s for outspokenness.”

“What about this green and yellow one here?” Lance asked curiously, smiling softly at the way Keith’s eyes lit up as he described the plants, pointing at the petals and gently brushing his hand over the petals like he didn’t want to hurt them. Keith could be as soft as he could be fierce in another moment, and there was something about that Lance loved. 

“Hunk and Pidge,” Keith said, expression deadpan. Lance let out a long, undignified snort of surprise, because Hunk was right. Keith could be funny when he meant to be. Keith burst out laughing a second later, letting himself fall back against Lance’s shoulder and curling against him a little. “Friendship. The blue one next to it is for steadfastness. It was the closest I could get to stability.”

“You made me a bouquet of my soulmark?” Lance asked after a moment, eyes growing wide as he realized what exactly Keith was saying. Keith, who had taken the time to either match each flower up with an earth counterpart that looked like them, or had Coran tell him the meaning of each flower in this greenhouse until he could make the perfect Lance bouquet. 

“Yeah,” Keith answered in a hesitant voice, glancing up at Lance and biting his lip. Lance couldn’t stop staring at him, and he knew his mouth was hanging open a little which was probably freaking Keith out, but he couldn’t help it, he was just so touched. And they were in the colors of their lions (well, purple for Black but close enough) and Keith didn’t even seem to realize. What a nerd. “Oh God, is that creepy?”

“No, no, it’s adorable,” Lance assured him, pulling him a little closer with his free arm as he squeezed the bouquet a little closer to him, taking an exaggerated deep sniff off the flowers. They did all really smell nice together too. Keith rolled his eyes a little, but his smile was sweet as he leaned up to press his fingers against the flowers again. 

“I also – the blue plant, Winori, and the green and yellow one are good for your skin, refreshes it and lessens scar tissue. I’m looking up how to mix them with your face goo since I know you like that stuff,” Keith explained, voice small and cheeks flushing as he looked up at Lance, trailing off at the end of his sentence. Keith wanted to make him special face cream because he remembered Lance slept in a facemask. 

Lance stared blankly at Keith for a second, carefully setting the blanket aside next to the chips and sandwiches they hadn’t touched yet. Keith is squirming a little under his arm. Lance just kept staring for a second before he made his decision. Now was the right time. “Keith, would it be okay if kiss you right now?” 

Keith nodded wordlessly, pulling away from Lance’s arm so they were facing each other. Lance gently pressed a hand to Keith’s cheek while Keith’s both found their way to his waist. Lance leaned in, pressing his lips against Keith’s lightly chapped ones. He felt the other boy still and then kiss him back, a little too messy and aggressive and then almost too soft as he let Lance lean his head back a bit before letting go. It wasn’t the best kiss Lance ever had, but it was the only one that left him dizzy and giddy afterwards like in the movies. Keith leaned forward, pressing his head against Lance’s chest as he gripped his arms, eyelashes fluttering for real as he glanced up at Lance.

“That was my first kiss,” Keith muttered, cheeks red again, gaze soft and a little sheepish as he let go of Lance’s shirt and instead pressed his hands against his thighs.

Lance blinked a little because yeah, of course it was their first kiss – wait. Keith said ‘my’. Not their, not the, but my. Lance flushed as well, because he didn’t think he’d ever been anyone’s first anything before, let alone something that important. Or if he had, they hadn’t told Lance. But Keith had and he was for Keith. “Ever?” 

“Yeah,” Keith confirmed, pouting a little as shifted so he was back to back with Lance, leaning against him again. Keith inched a little closer as he spoke, until there was almost no room between them. “I didn’t exactly try and date at the Garrison. Not successfully anyway.”

“I – oh my god, you’re so cute,” Lance gushed because he couldn’t stop himself. He also couldn’t stop himself from turning his head and planting a small, quick kiss to Keith’s lips, the other boy kissing back for the second it lasted before Lance remembered he didn’t ask first. Keith didn’t seem to care, going by the dreamy look in his eye, but Lance still wanted to be sure. “Was that okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, you call me cute a lot,” Keith muttered, gazing up at Lance with sloping eyebrows and biting his lip a little, gaze open and vulnerable in his confusion. Keith inched a little closer to him, despite there not really being space left for that. Keith’s right leg ended up slightly on top of Lance’s, though Keith didn’t seem to notice as he kept staring up at Lance. 

“I get the feeling not enough people have,” Lance said softly, expression tender as he gazed down at Keith, and Keith gazed back up at him with a light flush, lips parted a little and gaze bright. Yeah, definitely not enough people telling Keith he was cute if it made him that happy. He wondered if Keith even knew it did. Lance shook his head, because now was not the time for serious thoughts. Now was a date. Lance pushed one of Keith’s messy bangs away from his face. His hair had grown a bit since Lance cut it for him almost two months ago, though this time it grew more evenly and is less of a mullet. Lance idly wondered if Keith could tie it up yet.

Keith leaned against him again, leg almost entirely on top of Lance’s, and Lance snorted because this was ridiculous, adorable though it might be. Lance shifted a little so Keith has no choice but to either pull away from him or end up sitting in between his legs, back pressed up against Lance’s chest. Thankfully, for the date and for Lance’s pride, Keith chose the latter, hesitantly curling against Lance. “Well you know I like gardening. What do you like to do, besides watch movies?”

“I can play the guitar,” Lance answered, glancing down at Keith in surprise as his reverie is broken. Keith pressed against him a little more firmly, one hand idly running over Lance’s fingers and squeezing encouragingly each time he found one of Lance’s hard earned callouses. “I’m hoping to find one – or something Pidge and Hunk can turn into one – soon.”

“I’d like to hear you play,” Keith said, and he curled down a little so he can look up at Lance with a small, shy smile, as though he wasn’t currently pretty much sitting in Lance’s lap. Lance snorted, shaking his head a little and running his hands through Keith’s hair. Probably still needed to be a little bit longer.

“I could come in here, play you some songs while you work,” Lance murmured as Keith leaned forward a little more and turned his head, his hair brushing against Lance’s neck as he moved and his hands still squeezing Lance’s gently. His gaze is soft but hopeful and a little awed, and Lance realized, between that and the way Keith ran his finger over Lance’s callouses, that Keith is impressed he can play the guitar. Lance decided that he needed to really up the ante on finding that guitar. Just wait until Keith found out he can play _Eye of The Tiger_.

“Yeah, plants like music,” Keith whispered, twisting more fully so he was leaning against one of Lance’s knees. They were kind of face-to-face again, and Keith grinned small and soft, hands loosely lying against his own now that Keith was done finding his callouses.

“So do cats,” Lance answered, internally face-palming because what did that have to do with anything? Way to ruin an intense romantic moment. Keith glanced up at with scrunched eyebrows and a small frown, a lot like the face he made about the cheer and Lance’s favorite movies, crossing his arms and letting out a small huff. Lance shrugged, wrapping an arm around Keith subtly and flicking one of his bangs, because suddenly _why_ he said it struck him. “You’re like a cat.”

“So are you,” Keith muttered, still pouting up at Lance. Lance cocked his head for a second, because Keith is the one who went from moody and aloof one second to a cuddle monster protecting him from danger the next. Totally a cat. But there was no heat behind Keith’s words, instead a kind of softness, a recognition. Keith gazed up at Lance with a warm, knowing gaze, smile wide and a little goofy in a way that made Lance laugh. 

“Yeah, so am I,” Lance agreed with a snort instead of arguing that he was a Lion or a dog like he might have a few weeks ago. He understood Keith and himself better now. They were different people, very different, but they were also in many ways the same. And it was both those differences and similarities that let them spend the rest of the afternoon cuddling in different positions next to Keith’s plants, arguing over _what_ kind of cat they would each be.

 It was, much like the first date, pretty much perfect. And much like the first one, Keith loosed up after it, let his guard down. Not only was he sitting and standing close to Lance now, but he was gently squeezing his hand when Lance seemed nervous or Keith was nervous and giving him little half or even full hugs whenever Lance did something cool on a mission. Lance was pretty sure it looked like they were dating to anyone with eyes and the thought warmed his heart.

So yeah, Lance spent the rest of the week on cloud 9, 10, 11, and 12 and it wasn’t his fault if he needed to talk about it. A lot. 

“Hunk! Have I told you about my second date with Keith?” Lance asked as he swung the living room door open and saw his friend on the couch, phone in hand and gaze dreamy. He and Shay texted more than anyone Lance had ever met, but then Lance guessed that was why they both had trees and feathers. Coran was next to him, a mug of space tea in one hand and papers laid out in front of him, though they didn’t seem to be mission plans from how unconcerned Coran looked.

“Yes, several times,” Hunk answered with a shrug, not looking up from his phone. “But you can tell me about it again if you want.”

Lance crossed his arms a little, feeling sheepish and put out. Because okay, yeah, he had told the story of how Keith was adorable and kind of intense in his date planning (Lance had the feeling Keith date nights were always going to either be really low-key or so romantic it will make his head spin, and Lance was looking forward to the surprise) many times, but Hunk had told the story of “The Hero Shay and the Perfect Kiss” plenty too. Coran though, smiled brightly and waved at Lance. “And I’ve only heard about it once!”

“Okay, first he brought me flowers that were about me,” Lance explained, because this was important and he needed Hunk and Coran to understand how cute this was. “Like, he knew flower meanings and tried to translate them to alien flowers.” 

“Right,” Hunk agreed with a small nod, glancing up at his phone to give Lance – and by default Keith – a small, fond smile. Lance returned it with a bright one of his own, because yeah, his man Hunk got it. Keith was adorable and Lance deserved flowers.

“And then Keith told me he was gonna learn how to make face creams for me,” Lance said with a sigh as Hunk nodded along, typing away on his phone and looking encouraging but a little bored. It was the fourth time he’d heard this story. Coran though, had his chin under his hands and starry eyes, so Lance felt like he could keep going. “And I just had to kiss him, you know? How could I not? I’m gonna make him keep some for himself though.”

“That your plan for the third date?” Hunk asked, raising an eyebrow as he set his phone aside, looking more curious. And yeah, that was the question of the hour, because third dates were significant (Lance knew from rom coms) and Keith had really gone all out with the flowers and face cream. 

“Still working on it,” Lance admitted with a small sigh, shaking his head a little as he flopped down next to Hunk, his own lightly curly bangs flopping against his face. Keith wasn’t the only one whose hair was growing. He needed to do something about it. Maybe their next date could be hair and skin care. No. that needed to be a continual lesson for Keith so it would stick, and besides, Keith deserved romance too. “Gotta make it even _cuter_ than that, somehow.”

“Ah, competing over the best date, you remind me of my soulmate and I when we were young,” Coran said with a small smile, gaze soft and far away. Lance and Hunk both glanced over at him, Lance laying a hand over Coran’s shoulder. The older man rarely talked about his life before them. Sometimes Lance forgot they weren’t the only ones who were homesick, and that Coran and Allura were homesick for something they could never, ever get back. “I always won when it came to the personal, but it’s hard to beat a king on big romantic gestures.”

Lance nodded, biting his lip because of course it would be. He could just see Coran trying to outdo his soulmate now. Except he said king, not king of or king as a loose term. Just king. Next to him, Hunk looked equally shocked. “… Wait. Are you saying your soulmate was Alfor?!”

“Why, of course. Allura calls me her second father for a reason,” Coran reminded them with a small, twinkling laugh that didn’t quite reach his gaze. Lance bit his lip, because on one hand, it was good Coran and Allura had each other, but on the other hand, for them to both lose the most important person in their life like that. God.

“That’s – I’m sorry Coran,” Lance murmured, and Hunk quickly nodded along, teary-eyed as he grabs Coran’s free shoulder. Coran smiled at them both, shaking his head a little with a soft warm gaze as they both eventually pull away.

“No need to be sorry, my boys,” Coran assured them, a hint of tiredness in his voice even as he looked at them unbearably fondly, ruffling Lance’s hair a little as he stood up to leave, gripping the papers a little more tightly. Lance suddenly wondered if they weren’t work at all, if they were from Alfor. He decided now wasn’t the time to ask. Then Coran turned his gaze more fully to Lance, thoughtful and a little bittersweet. “Just promise me you’ll take care of each other and open up, though it seems you’ve both started to do that. And remember, sometimes dates can be watching plays together, cuddling under the stars, working side by side. All those things matter too.” 

Lance nodded and whispered a thank you, Coran’s words rolling over in his head long after the other man left the room. Lance had always thought bigger the better when it came to romance, but maybe things like cuddling with Keith in the garden or sitting side by side after a fight, maybe those were even more important. Maybe the most important thing was them.

* * *

“So much for movies on the holodeck and stargazing,” Keith muttered, crossing his arms as he glowered slightly at the Thank You party they’ve been dragged into for the Mulari. Keith didn’t understand why they had to have a party when it was time for his and Lance’s third date anyway or why parties were a thing when they saved them because they wanted to. He’d been ready and pushing down his nerves, and now a whole new set of nerves was rising to the surface because there were tons of people here and several of them wanted to talk to Keith or at least the Red Paladin of Voltron who’d done all of those cool flips to protect them.

Keith was only cool during a fight. 

“You were really excited for that, huh?” Lance asked with a small grin, a bit of relief flicking across his face. Keith nodded, returning the grin with a soft, nervous smile of his own. Because that was a part of it too. He … liked dating Lance, liked it a lot, and he had actually been looking forward to their date as much as he’d been nervous about it. “Well, no worries, we can make this our date.”

Keith nodded along for a second, because Lance was right, he was being selfish and overreacting. The Mulari were being kind even if Keith felt uncomfortable and … no that wasn’t what Lance said. “Wait what?”

“It’s a party with dancing that looks like earth dancing and free booze,” Lance pointed out, sweeping his arm across the room and then smiling widely at Keith, practically bouncing on his heels. Right. Of course Lance liked parties. Keith should’ve realized that. Now to let his boyfriend know that besides being a hothead with impulse control issues, Keith was also a stick in the mud who was too awkward to dance and who’d never had a drink in his life because he was afraid of getting in trouble at the Garrison (and yeah, Keith knew that was ironic now).

“Parties aren’t really my thing,” Keith muttered, glancing down at the floor, crossing his arms a little tighter against his chest. Lance suddenly stuck a few fingers under his chin, lifting Keith’s head up so he was looking Lance in the eyes.

“You did okay with the Alrusians,” Lance reminded him, gaze soft and sympathetic as he slid his free hand over Keith’s shoulder and gave him and encouraging squeeze. Keith nodded, still anxious and going by Lance’s expression, that still being obvious on his face. “You even made friends with the one who hugged you and the one you tried to fight.” 

“We bonded over being the fiercest warriors on our team,” Keith explained with a small shrug, because that wasn’t going to happen here. The Mulari were all healers. Keith was pretty much out of his depth here. Lance drops the hand from his chin, staring at him first blankly and then with a little bit of disbelief and amusement Keith didn’t get for a second. Then he rolled his eyes, letting out a small huff as Lance started giggling. “I said fiercest, not best! But he _was_ the best even if I’m not on Voltron. But that was … everyone was in small groups and … they weren’t so tall.”

“Huh, you really are shy, huh?” Lance asked, a hint of laughter still in his voice. But his gaze softened as he took Keith’s hand and gently squeezed it. Keith flushed a little because … yeah, he tried to play it off as annoyance and his reaction to feeling nervous was to glare, but Keith was shy. This party was terrifying. “Hey, it’ll be okay, because I’ll be with you.”

Keith smiled at that, gripping Lance’s hand back and letting the other boy lead him through the party and small groups. Keith stayed with Lance, holding his hand or looping his arm through his, and it actually made him feel just a little less nervous. The Mulari also seem less put off by his awkwardness as long as he was with Lance, smiling softly if a little weirdly at the two of them. One of them even turned out to work with healing herbs and Keith grilled him for information about plants while Lance looked on fondly. Keith was almost feeling comfortable – which he almost never felt at parties – when Lance went to grab them some drinks.

That was when Shiro showed up next to him, glancing back fondly at where Allura is talking to the Mulari and as far as Keith could tell, impressing them with her great strength. Shiro stopped his admiration of his soulmate long enough to smirk at Keith though, somehow at once teasing and proud, and that was never a good combination. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to tease you, I’m just impressed you let go of Lance. You’ve been holding on to him all night. All week really.” 

“Yeah,” Keith murmured softly, as though there wasn’t teasing implicit in Shiro’s words. He felt his cheeks start to heat up and tried to force it back down, because what was Shiro even talking about? But before Keith could ask, Allura called Shiro over, her laughter ringing across the room as Shiro ran toward her and she caught him like they were in Dirty Dancing (it wasn’t only 80s action movies Keith’s dad had liked). Keith was happy for his (probably drunk) friends, but he couldn’t get Shiro’s words out of his head. 

Probably because they were true. Keith had been clinging to Lance’s side all night tonight, and well. He always sat next to Lance if they were in the same room, leaned against him and dropped his head on his shoulder if he was tired enough. Hugged him after missions and squeezed his hand when Lance did something awesome. Hell, he’d even started holding Lance’s hand during debriefs and down time just because, like one of those couples Keith always rolled his eyes at back on earth.

And he’d done all of this without checking if it was okay with Lance first. God, he was an asshole. 

“Hey, a minute ago you were having fun, why the pout?” Lance’s voice rang out, because the universe hated Keith and didn’t think he deserved time to make an exit strategy. Lance was holding a rainbow colored drink that also glowed a little, two red straws sticking out the top. Right. They were going to share this one since they both already had one. 

Keith took a deep breath, trying to make it clear how sorry he was with his eyes as he held his hands up, pouting a little at the increasingly bemused look Lance was giving him. “I – am I clingy?”

“I prefer cuddly and affectionate,” Lance muttered after a beat, smiling gently and snorting a little as he looped his free arm through one of Keith’s. Keith instinctively curled into Lance’s side before he can stop himself, but Lance didn’t seem to mind given how he leaned back, so at least the question of if he minded was semi answered.

Just not the part where this was embarrassing.

“Oh my god, I’m literally what I made fun of your soulmark for,” Keith muttered before taking a big sip of the drink. It tasted like two pixie sticks melted into apple juice, so Keith was pretty sure didn’t have any alcohol in it, or at least not by human standards. It was still something he could hide his face in, and that was good enough for him. 

“Yeah, that makes sense it’s you know, you,” Lance pointed out, wriggling out his eyebrows and letting out another small chuckle in the face of Keith’s embarrassment. The corners of his eyes crinkle softly and Keith kind of wants to kiss them – and whoa, where did that thought come from? “But you’re forgetting that I have flowers too. So when you get all cuddly or you let me know you think I’m awesome with hugs instead of words, not only are you happy, but _I’m_ happy, so everyone wins.”

“You – you don’t mind?” Keith asked in a small voice, because affection had never been his forte and it had been years since he was allowed to touch someone before now. The idea that he can touch Lance as much as he liked, that Lance liked it when he did and got what he was _trying_ to say was kind of mind-blowing. 

“No, pretty much the opposite,” Lance promised, voice soft as he pressed a small kiss to Keith’s forehead. Keith followed him out to the dance floor, where Keith pretty much spent the night leaning against Lance and stealing sips from their shared drink even though it was kind of disgusting.

They both have headaches when they wake up the next day, but it was definitely worth it. They reschedule movie night for the end of the week, except then the Galra attack again because apparently the universe didn’t want Keith to see _Mulan_ for the first time. They were infiltrating a ship and Lance and Keith are on opposite sides, Keith protecting and helping Pidge break into and hack the computer system, while Lance and Hunk and Shiro rescued prisoners on the other side of the ship. So far things were going smoothly.

Then Keith heard quiet breathing over the monitor while Lance was crowing to a robot, and Keith felt his heart stop even as he stabbed his way through his own battle droid. “Lance, duck and cover!” 

“You of all people are telling me to duck?” Lance asked in disbelief, even as Keith heard the sound of metal hitting metal and angry Galra cursing as Lance ran down the hallway. His weapon must have gotten stuck in the wall when he tried to take Lance out from behind. Good. “Miracles really do happen.”

Keith rolled his eyes even though Lance can’t see him, crossing his arms as he glanced around the control room, finally droid free as Pidge started typing away. Keith heard another loud crunch and then a series of blasts that didn’t sound anything like Lance’s gun. The slightly pained sound from Lance didn’t really help his nerves either. “Shiro! Lance! Hunk!” 

“Stop worrying about us, Keith, and keep your eye on the prize, you and Pidge are the ones in the most danger here,” Lance shouted over the com, and Keith took a deep breath. Technically Lance was right, they were in the highest risk part of the mission if they made any mistakes. But Lance and Shiro and Hunk were the ones facing down a whole army of droids right now, while Keith was just facing a few different colors of wire. It was hard to see himself as the less safe one here.

“We’ll be fine, it’s just detonating a few bombs and Pidge is a genius and I got great instincts,” Keith explained calmly, pinching one of the wire between his fingers lightly. There is dead silence on the other side of the comm from all three of them, though Keith can still hear breathing so he wasn’t as nervous. More confused than anything else. 

“Please don’t assume you instinctively know how to defuse a bomb,” Shiro said over the comm, exasperated and a little worried at the same time. Keith froze, wanting to defend himself but unable to because that was exactly what his plan had been and maybe he shouldn’t admit that right now. His silence was telling though, going by Shiro’s quiet ‘shit’ and Hunk’s ‘what?!’ on the other end. Oops. “Keith, I’m begging you –“

Shiro never finished his sentence as a loud shot rang out over the com and Keith heard Lance scream instead. The links go silent after that save Shiro saying the rest of them are okay. Keith felt like time stopped.

“Lance? Lance!” Keith shouted into the comm as he sliced through each wire Pidge was hurriedly pointing at with none of his usual grace but luckily all of his usual skill. He was worried about Lance, but not enough to endanger Pidge or Shiro and Hunk or the prisoners on this ship. Keith would never forgive himself if he cost them the greater good, and he couldn’t imagine Lance would either. They were paladins they had a mission to do. But Keith was also human and had a boyfriend to go rescue. “Pidge we need to hurry.”

“I heard,” Pidge muttered tonelessly, but the look she gave Keith was tight and worried, hands tense where she was typing. She was as worried as Keith was, or close. Keith gave her a pained grimace as he sliced through another wire. “He’s gonna be all right.”

Pidge didn’t sound like she was trying to convince him so much as herself, words hollow as she pointed to another set of wires. There were only two more left until the could get out of here. Keith sliced through them faster than even he thought he could move. He glanced back at Pidge, giving her a small smile he was sure didn’t’ reach his eyes. “Yeah.” 

Hope was all they had as they rushed down the hall, taking out what few droids were left with ease. Keith half carried Pidge most of the way, ignoring Pidge’s slightly annoyed curses. Keith wasn’t going to take the chance of losing two people who were important to him today when he didn’t have to.

They reach the hangar five minutes after the other three, and Keith pretty much pushed past everyone but Hunk to get to Lance’s other side. He was laid out in front of the healing pods, bruised and with a few wounds. Lance looked better than when he was caught up in the explosion on Alrusia, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t have internal injuries or bleeding or anything else. 

“Lance! You’re not looking so hot,” Keith murmured, voice surprisingly teary when Lance’s eyes suddenly flutter open and hazily focus in on Hunk and him. Keith winced because yeah, he really was bad with words and he could feel the “wtf” look Hunk was giving him out of the corner of his eye. Keith took another deep breath, fingers hesitantly pressing against the uninjured part of Lance’s cheek, touch feather light.

“Wow, just what I wanna hear from my soulmate when I’m bleeding,” Lance said, letting out a small hacking sound that Keith thought was supposed to be a laugh. Keith bit his lip at the sound, shaking his head a little. Lance couldn’t afford to laugh or make jokes right now. None of them could. “I’m gonna pass out, but I promise I’ll remember all our bonding when I wake up this time.” 

“I promise I’ll remember your name,” Keith answered softly as Lance closed his eyes. His breathing was still pained in his sleep as Hunk gently lifted him from the cot and carried him to the healing pod. Keith watched, gaze meeting Hunk’s from across the room. For once Keith understood the constant worry and fear that lived there during missions, even as Coran assured both of them that Lance would be fine and up by the morning. Until Lance was awake, they were just words. 

   Keith couldn’t sleep, images of Lance injured that bleed into Shiro and then Hunk and Allura and Pidge and Coran, even the Alrusians and the Olkari filling his head. For once Keith wasn’t afraid of being abandoned. He was afraid of people being taken from him against his will. Maybe that was what he always should have been afraid of. Either way, Keith found himself pacing the castle in his pajamas, oversized and bright red and making him feel like a kid again. He didn’t remember when he started sleeping in them instead of his clothes, even his boots, when he felt safe enough to around the others.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” Hunk’s voice rang out when Keith walked into the healing room, Hunk leaning against a pillow next to Lance’s pod. Keith gives him a crooked half smile, padding over to him and sitting across from him on the ground. The metal was cold and sterile, and Keith bit back a sigh. Lance didn’t belong in a room like this. “Yeah, I stayed up like this all night the last time he was in here too. It’s why I was so calm by the time he actually woke up.”

“Right,” Keith muttered, because that made sense, but Keith didn’t think he was going to get calmer, not when he kept having to do this for people he loved, when he could feel the fear and anger spreading through his veins into his vital organs and trying to make him see red again. Keith took a deep breath to try and force it down, because of all the people who didn’t need some angry kid yelling at them right, Hunk was number one. After all, he had to be as scared as Keith was right now. 

“Hey, Coran said he’ll be okay,” Hunk reminded him, voice gentle as he suddenly grabbed Keith by the shoulder and pulled him to his side so they were both leaning against the oversized pillow. “But it’s okay if you’re scared. I’m scared all the time.”

“Why you’re the bravest,” Keith told him, smiling up at his friend crookedly while Hunk rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed. Keith let out a small sigh, leaning back against the wall as he looked over at where Lance is floating lifelessly again. He knew next to him that Hunk followed his gaze. Keith bit his lip, shaking his head a little bit. “I just – I’m not used to having things to lose.”

“Well, now you got six people and a lion,” Hunk said, suddenly patting Keith on the shoulder and smiling widely at him. Keith blinked a little, but then nodded, his eyes widening as he realized that Hunk was _right_. “Not doing so bad, Keith.”

“Yeah, maybe not,” Keith admitted, smile a little more genuine as he leaned against Hunk, glancing at the door and wondering who else might show up by morning. They’d all only gotten closer in the past five months since Lance was last in here. They’d become a family of sorts and Keith hadn’t even noticed, or maybe couldn’t notice because this was the first family he’d had in over a decade. Either way the thought made his heart hurt in a good way, warm and soft even as the fear for Lance was still there too. “Are you gonna stay until he wakes up?”

“Planning on it, save for a few snack breaks,” Hunk answered, giving him a knowing look as he pulled out his phone, starting an episode of a show Keith had never heard of before meeting the others but Lance insisted was “basically visual comfort food”. 

Keith wondered if Lance would want to hear about it when he woke up, if he was as worried about Keith as Keith was about him when his comm link broke, if he wished they’d been more connected in that moment too. “Yeah, me too, gotta ask him something when he wakes up.”

Keith knew, suddenly and without question, that he needed to know Lance was okay when he couldn’t be with him, needed the soft thrum that Allura and Shiro described that Keith used to think sounded terrifying.

Keith wanted to soulbond.


	8. Bonded

Lance fell out of the healing pod, limbs heavy and sloppy just like the first time. Only there was no watch party this time, Lance instead stumbling into Shiro’s firm grip. The other man smiled down at him, gaze soft as he gently righted Lance. Lance grinned back, running a hand through his hair. It didn’t matter, it was messy again a second later as he was tackled by Pidge, who gently punched him on the arm as she let go, frowning tightly with watery eyes. Lance snorted, ruffling her hair as his eyes met Allura’s warm, relieved ones, Coran coming over to clasp him on the shoulder with a warm smile.

It was a great welcome, even if two people were missing. Lance let out a deep breath as Coran let go, taking a few shaky steps forward. He was never sure how long it would take him to get his balance back after being in the pod for a few hours.

“Hey, looks like I made it,” Lance mumbled as he managed to right himself, the last vestiges of dizziness fading, though he still gripped the edge of a nearby chair just in case. Pidge grinned over at him, the hint of tears in her eyes gone now that she saw he was okay, her smart device back in her hand as she typed a few numbers into it.

“Glad to have you back,” Shiro answered warmly, patting him on the back gently, gaze lingering where Lance’s fingers were digging into the armchair next to him. Okay, maybe he was doing a little worse than he’d thought, but his pride wasn’t going to let him admit that. Not when the healing pod didn’t seem to cause issues for anyone else. Lance righted himself the best he could, wincing a little as his vision filled with tiny black dots. He’d moved too quickly. Good to know. “Are you feeling okay?” 

“Little dizzy, but that’s par the course for the pod,” Lance answered with a small shrug, earning a blank look from Shiro. The pod hadn’t affected him nearly as much, but to be fair, he hadn’t found out the castle was actually a ship or been missing two of his favorite people afterwards either. Lance should cut himself some slack. 

“Yeah, what is that your third time in the pod?” Pidge’s voice rang out, the hint of worry not hidden from how she kept her gaze glued to her phone. “Maybe try to get hit a little less?”

Lance took a few steps towards Pidge, internally sighing in relief when the dizziness didn’t come back. She glanced up at him with a small smile, her gaze soft and a little sad. Pidge had lost or temporarily lost a lot of big brothers in the past year and a half. Lance really didn’t want to be another one, not when it put that haunted look in her eyes. “Promise, Pidge, I’ll try. Can’t help that the aliens love hitting a beautiful target.” 

“If that were true, they’d only go after Allura or Hunk,” Pidge pointed out, smile growing into a mischievous grin as she glanced up at Lance. Lance sighed dramatically, playfully swatting her for denying his obvious beauty and grace. They were okay. He was okay. This probably wouldn’t be the last time he was in the healing pod, and he was pretty sure they were all going to lose their minds when it was finally Pidge’s turn, but for right now they were safe.

But her words did bring up a question that was still heavy on Lance’s mind. “Can’t argue with that, speaking of, where are Hunk and Keith?”

“They’re on the other side of the pod,” Allura answered with a small laugh, gazing behind Lance with a playful smirk. Lance flushed a little, because yeah, he probably should’ve noticed them before now, but he’d been really dizzy okay? He turned on his heel to find Hunk’s back pressed up against the wall with a pillow under his head, mouth open slightly. Keith was next to him, curled in on himself, hugging a pillow like it was Lance or his knife. Lance couldn’t stop himself from audibly “awing”. “They tried waiting up for you, but they didn’t quite manage. It was very sweet.” 

“They both are,” Lance said softly, gazing over at them with subdued warmth. He had two people (not even getting to his family back home) who waited all night to make sure he was okay, even after Coran had assuredly told them he’d be fine. Lance was really, really lucky. He walked over to them, kneeling down and gently shaking both their shoulders. “Hey, buddies, I’m awake, so you guys should be too so we can hug it out and cry.” 

“Lance? Lance!” Hunk cried as he slowly opened his eyes, gaze widening as he clutched Lance’s shoulders. Then Lance felt himself pulled into a tight bear hug, Hunk’s fingers tangling in his hair. “Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too. You really waited up all night? You didn’t need to,” Lance assured him as he returned the hug, letting his headrest against Hunk’s broad shoulders. He shook his head a little as he felt Hunk’s stomach rumble with quiet laughter, as though the idea that he wouldn’t wait up for Lance was patently ridiculous. Lance didn’t know what he’d done to deserve such a great best friend, but he was sure glad he’d done it.

“Wanted to, and besides, I kind of fell asleep halfway through the night if I’m honest,” Hunk mumbled with a small sheepish laugh as he broke the hug, rubbing the back of his head lightly. Lance rolled his eyes fondly, shaking his head a little before letting his gaze drift to Keith, who was still in the throes of sleep and clutching his pillow for dear life. “Keith was still awake when I fell asleep. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t wake up. Would’ve thought he was a light sleeper.” 

“Normally he is,” Lance answered with a small nod, frowning a little at the realization. How tired was Keith already, and he still tried to stay up to see Lance when he woke up?

“Lance,” Shiro said, voice strangled and a little higher than usual, gaze tight as he took a step toward him. Lance felt his stomach drop for a moment, because that expression could mean so many terrible things about his health or Blue or the Galra – and then Lance realized how his words must have sounded to Shiro. He flushed at the same time he let out a loud, almost pained sounding laugh, Shiro’s arms crossing in a way that was almost identical to Keith as he glared at him. This was terrifying but also kind of amazing.

“Not like that! He fell asleep in the garden, and when I went to wake him up he nearly punched me in the face,” Lance explained, putting both his hands up palm first as Shiro raised an eyebrow at him. Shiro shook his head a second later, arms falling to his side as he let out a small laugh, glancing over Keith with an amused, fond expression Lance had seen on his sisters’ faces many, many times before.

“Well, he’s not waking up now, poor guy must be exhausted,” Hunk pointed out, gently nudging Keith with the bottom of his foot. That, rather than all the talking and laughter, finally made Keith to open his eyes. Keith blinked owlishly as he let out a small yawn, glancing around the room until his gaze finally landed on Lance.

“Lance?” Keith asked in a shaky voice as he rolled to his feet, taking one step and then just lunging forward until he hit Lance in the chest, arms immediately wrapping around his back. Keith buried his head in Lance’s shoulders, hair brushing against his chin as Keith ran soothing circles against his skin where the burns had been. Then Keith looked up, first at Lance and then at everyone else, flushing as he slowly took a step back from Lance, though his fingers still lingered over Lance’s own. “Sorry." 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Lance promised with a sure-fire grin, before leaning down a little to kiss Keith, soft and sweet but not terribly short. He’d never felt more like an action hero. Well, until Pidge started doing dramatic gagging noises until they stopped kissing, shrugging innocently as they both glared over at her. “Haha with the gagging sounds Pidge, someday you’ll find your soulmate and you’ll be just as terrible.”

“Doubtful since I have no flowers, besides you don’t actually know Keith is your soulmate. Similar marks sometimes mimic the tug you feel toward one each other, you might just be like each other’s soulmates,” Pidge pointed out with a small shrug, voice cool and scientific as she rambled, the glint in her eye the only thing betraying her interest. “You can’t know for sure until you touch marks and form the bond.” 

“Haha, very funny Pidge,” Lance scoffed, holding Keith a little tighter. On the inside, he felt his stomach drop a little at her words, veins filling with ice water. The chances of that happening were 1 in 900,000. Lance knew that. But then, Keith had always been special and Lance had been abducted by aliens (kind of), so it wasn’t like either of them hadn’t defied the odds before. There was a chance, even if _ridiculously_ small, that the tug was a placebo effect of their marks being so similar.

Lance tried to force the idea out of his mind. Keith was his soulmate. He’d felt drawn to him since his first day at the Garrison (though Keith wasn’t drawn to him, was he, his treacherous brain reminded him), the tug there before they’d ever spoken. It couldn’t be a mistake, not when the draw was this strong, not when Keith made him face masks. 

Keith squeezed his hand softly and smiled up at him softly, as though sensing his nervousness. Another point in their favor. Except when Lance glanced down at Keith’s face second later, he found the other boy biting his lip and staring at the floor. Keith had sensed his, but Lance had sure missed Keith’s. Keith caught his eye and smiled again, though he still looked close to terrified. “Hey, speaking of soulmates, could we talk? Alone?”

“Of course, babe,” Lance said, swallowing down the quiet screams he wanted to let out. Maybe Keith realized Pidge had a point, or maybe something had happened in the past two days to undo all their progress or who knew what. But Keith was still holding his hand, and Lance took confidence from that, smirking as he squeezed back and trying to put some fire back in his own gaze. “My room or yours?”

“The Hangar, I want Red and Blue to be there,” Keith answered with a small grin, relief filling his gaze as Lance agreed to go with him. Keith was nervous, but as Lance felt himself being dragged across the room and down the hall, he realized it wasn’t a bad nervous, but an excited one. 

Things might not be so dire after all. Keith froze by the hangar, glancing at the doors with a determined look even as he his hand shook in front of the button. Lance smirked, deciding to lighten the mood as much as he could. “That doesn’t sound ominous at all.”

“What? No, just, they should be,” Keith mumbled as he finally slammed the button, and Lance was thankful Keith wasn’t as strong as a full-blooded Galra. Their button would probably be gone now if that were the case. Keith let go of his hand as he pushed through the doorway, marching over to Red and having a silent conversation with her.

Lance followed after a minute, pausing in front of Blue, who rumbled softly in the back of his mind. She playfully nudged him forward, toward Red and Keith. He wrapped an arm around her cool metal head, leaning against her and letting her sooth the heavy nerves running through him the best she could. Red seemed to be doing the same thing, in her own special her and Keith way, angrily pushing him every three seconds and letting out small growls. Keith only hugged her tighter, muttering ‘Good Kitty’ every so often.

Then Keith finally let go of Red, turning around and looking Lance dead in the eye. He was biting his lip, arms crossed so tightly that his jacket had little stress lines despite being at least one size too big. Lance took a step forward, letting go of blue as he brought one hand up to Keith’s cheek to gently caress it. “Hey, hey, you okay?” 

“My gloves are off,” Keith muttered as he slowly uncrossed his arms and let them fall to his side for a moment. Then he carefully held them both up, the skin on the front of his palm a shade lighter than the rest of his hand. Lance stared at them, at the soft skin lacking the tiny scars and callouses of the rest of Keith’s hands. Then Keith turned them over, one palm empty besides the lines of the palm, the other what Lance hoped was his soul.

“Yeah, I see that, Keith,” Lance said after a beat, not able to tear his gaze away from Keith’s palms. They were new, unexplored parts of Keith, and Lance wanted to run his fingers, his mouth over them, felt moved Keith was finally letting him see what he’d kept hidden from everyone else. Except. Oh. “Oh, oh. Babe, you mean –“

“Seeing you in the pod again, waiting for you,” Keith said and then took a deep breath, pressing his hands together so Lance could only see the outside, mark hidden. Lance found that he missed it, even while it was causing him so much terror all of the sudden (he wondered if this was how Keith felt for the past decade). Then his attention was back on Keith, who steeled his gaze even as his voice shook a little on his next words. “I don’t want to wait anymore, I want to be bonded with you.”

“Keith, that is so, so sweet, but no,” Lance answered, trying to be gentle even as he winced a little at his own words. Keith’s face fell, gaze dropping to the floor and arms crossing tight against his chest. When he looked back up a second later, Lance could see the tears building behind his eyes. Lance knew he was making the right choice, but he needed Keith to understand why he was too. “Not because I don’t want to, trust me, I do.”

“Then why? I’m ready, you’re ready,” Keith pointed out, throwing his arms out to the side, mouth pressing into a thin line of exasperation even as the tears were still building behind his eyes. Then Keith froze, guilt and a little bit of shame coming into his gaze. That wasn’t what Lance wanted. “Or – I thought you were since you wanted to bond, but if you’re not sure, I get it.”

“I’m not sure about a lot of things, but you’re not one of the things I’m confused about,” Lance promised, using his markless hand to cup the side of Keith’s face, thumb brushing gently across the corner of his mouth. Keith nodded, gaze soft as he rubbed at his face, and Lance saw tiny stars out of the corner of his eye. 

“Then what’s the hold up?” Keith asked, voice small and strained as he leaned into Lance’s touch, awkwardly pulling his fingerless glove on back over his mark with one hand. Lance watched it disappear and felt a slight pang in his chest, and just stopped himself from reaching out to touch the straight and wavy lines at the edge before they were covered by black pleather.

“I don’t want you to do anything you might regret later,” Lance said with a small shrug, giving a lopsided smile when Keith scrunched his eyebrows, gaze narrowing a little. He needed to tread very carefully here if he didn’t want to offend Keith. At least Lance had proof on his palm that Keith made rash decisions. Probably. “I just woke up from a healing pod after you saw me almost die. You’re impulsive and emotional, kind of feel like that might be why you’re suddenly ready.”

“It’s a part of it, but not all of it,” Keith answered, voice steady as he held Lance’s gaze, warm but also firm in a way that Keith normally reserved for Red these days. “Lance, the past few weeks have been … they’ve been more than I ever expected. I really like you.”

“I know you do, I really like you too,” Lance assured him, sliding his hand down from Keith’s cheek to his shoulder. He grabbed the now gloved one with his free hand, reassuringly squeezing Keith’s hand as he pressed their foreheads together. Keith smiled back at him, though the firmness in his gaze was replaced with a hint of apprehension Lance had come to know all too well in the past few months. “I just think it would be better for both of us if we waited a few days, and hey, I bet you’ll still really like me then.” 

“Yeah, if we have a few days,” Keith murmured softly, smile brittle as he suddenly leaned forward and kissed Lance. It was short but desperate, and Lance could practically feel Keith’s anxiety over him and Shiro and everyone else he’d lost or almost lost in it.

Lance kissed him back and then kissed him again, soft and gentle until the anxiety went out of Keith’s gaze, body relaxing against his. Then Lance smirked a little, not quite able to stop himself from teasing his boyfriend a little. “Okay, Shiro.”

Keith snorted at the reminder of their leader’s macabre sense of humor, and as he punched Lance’s arm he smiled, bright and warm and a little crooked. Lance never wanted to stop seeing it directed at him, to stop feeling Keith’s arm loop around his while they walked down the hallway, to stop being given different types of flowers and herbs Keith thought might help him. 

So if Lance wasn’t testing the bond yet for slightly selfish, fearful reasons, he didn’t think anyone could blame him. 

But he was wrong, because Hunk definitely could, going by the questioning looks his friend shot him in the next two days after that conversation. Lance knew that look; it meant Hunk thought he needed to give Lance either a lecture or a pep talk, or some combination of both. Thing was, Lance didn’t know how Hunk had figured it out. Keith had opened up a lot the past few weeks, but not enough that he’d go to Lance’s best friend to tell him about how Lance didn’t want to bond. And he and Keith had been fine, Keith still sitting next to him and holding his hand and giving him vegetables. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Hey, Keith has been making his anxious face a lot since yesterday,” Hunk said as Lance finally came over and sat across from him, casually throwing his arms across the arm of the couch as though he’d known Lance would eventually come to him. Lance winced a little at his words, eyebrows sloping downward. Stupid Hunk and his overly high emotional IQ. “Did your special soulmate talk not go well?” 

“He wanted to bond, I said no,” Lance answered with a small shrug, not surprised when Hunk scrunched his eyebrows together, one hand coming to rest under his chin as he stared at Lance. Lance shrugged, crossing his legs to try and make himself seem more casual and less like he was internally freaking out just a little.

“I can see why’d that confuse him since you’ve been so gung-ho about the soulmate deal,” Hunk answered with a firm nod, expression carefully neutral as he stared at Lance. He sighed when Lance didn’t say anything after a beat, eyebrows scrunching together more as he leaned forward, one hand sliding to Lance’s shoulder. “… Why didn’t you want to bond?”

“Keith just saw me almost die, I didn’t want him rushing into anything he might regret in the morning,” Lance explained softly, managing to meet Hunk’s gaze with a firm one of his own this time. That part wasn’t a cover for his insecurities. He did think Keith made that decision on an impulse, and as much as that usually worked out in Keith’s favor, Lance refused for their possible bond to be one of the times it didn’t. Not when it would break both their hearts. 

“I doubt he’d regret it, but yeah, that’s fair, I see where you’re coming from,” Hunk agreed with a cheerful voice, patting Lance on the shoulder and giving him a small smile. But then Hunk frowned again, raising one eyebrow as he rubbed his hand under his chin and looked at Lance with an expression that managed to reveal nothing while asking a million questions.

“What?” Lance asked, crossing his arms and glaring a little, and he had no idea why Keith did this, because it didn’t make him feel any better or tougher. Hunk made an innocent expression, gazing up at the ceiling even as Lance brought one arm out to gently prod his shoulder. “I know that look, Hunk, it’s ‘Lance is being an idiot’, so let’s just get to the why for this time. Because I think I’m being _very_ practical.”

“Yeah just, you’ve seemed really tense since yesterday, and Keith might be picking up on that?” Hunk threw out as he brought his gaze down from the ceiling, giving Lance a pointed look to where his other arm was still wrapped around his chest. Lance quickly dropped it to his side and uncrossed his legs, because yeah, maybe his body language had been a little telling. Lance wasn’t used to trying to hide things from people. 

“I have?” Lance still asked, because he knew he was being obvious right now, but the past two days? Lance thought he’d been more careful to keep his slowly growing fears to himself. He didn’t want anyone else to be nervous just because he was.

Hunk just gave him a small nod in response, as though that should’ve been obvious. Hunk smiled softly as he patted Lance on the arm again, gently ignoring the wince on Lance’s face as he confirmed that he’d been broadcasting his insecurities across the ship. “Yeah, and I mean, you almost died so I totally get it, but maybe make sure Keith knows that? He’s really anxious about the soulmate stuff so he probably thinks it’s about that –“

“It is,” Lance admitted, cutting Hunk off with a low sigh as he leaned forward, shoulders slumping at his own admission.

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Hunk said with a small, lopsided grin. He leaned forward, hunching over a bit so they were eye to eye even as Lance was curling in on himself, the insecurities he’d had since he was 11 suddenly pressing down on him. Lance knew, on some level, that he was overthinking the soulmate thing, creating fears where they didn’t exist. It didn’t stop him from doing it though.

“I just – Pidge isn’t wrong, we might not be soulmates,” Lance finally sighed, letting himself slump forward until his head was almost pressing into Hunk’s, the other boy practically supporting his body weight with the hand on his shoulder (and wow, Hunk was super strong, Lance should compliment him on that more). 

“Okay, yes, she’s not wrong, but it’s still really, _really_ unlikely,” Hunk pointed out with a wry grin, raising an eyebrow as Lance flushed a little and leaned back. He knew Hunk was right, but it didn’t make him pointing out that Lance was being unreasonable any less embarrassing. Hunk’s smile was gentle as he ruffled Lance’s hair with his other hand though, and that made him feel a little better. “Like, soulmarks mimicking bonds happens 1 in 700,000 cases and you and Keith …”

“Have always been special,” Lance muttered gently, gaze falling to his hands again as he bit his lip. His soulmark and the wavy lines on it felt like they were mocking him from his lap.

Hunk met his gaze, opening his mouth and then snapping it shut, gaze growing sheepish. Lance imagined the overly blunt response about Keith’s and Lance’s chances of having a faked bond for himself and still winced a little bit. Then Hunk grinned excitedly, raising his left index finger up in the air like he’d just solved some kind of mystery. “Well, if you’re not you’ll probably have platonic soulmates.”

“You can’t know that, we might not be,” Lance answered, voice heavy as he considered that possibility too. It made his chest ache, palms flattening out against his thighs. Hunk patted him on the shoulder gently before letting his hand rest there, both his arms around Lance now in a pseudo hug. “We might both be destined to fall in love with someone else.” 

“Yeah, true, and Keith might have to feel abandoned again and God knows that would probably undo all the progress he’s made and we might not even be able to form Voltron,” Hunk mumbled, gaze growing far away and distant as he considered issues Lance hadn’t even thought about yet, ones that made Lance’s heart catch in his throat. Keith couldn’t be hurt like that again. Not by _him_. “And you’d maybe have to watch him fall in love with someone else –“

“Yeah, thought about the second one already. It makes sense, that his soulmate would be someone better,” Lance cut Hunk off with a low sigh, because that had been the bigger concern for him. Someone else would come along, someone smarter and calmer and more patient than Lance, someone who was _better_ for Keith because Lance was never anything but second best and – he didn’t want to be second best. Not when it came to Keith. 

“No one better in the universe except Shay,” Hunk corrected him gently, gaze firm as he stared over at Lance. He slowly pulled one hand away from Lance, letting it fall to his side at the same time he let out a small sigh. “Lance, I think you’re overthinking this.” 

And Lance let out a groan of frustration, because yeah, of course he was overthinking this! He knew that. But he couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop thinking about the chance, however small, that Keith wasn’t his and he wasn’t Keith’s, not in the way he wanted to be. “Its kind of a big deal!” “Look, I know I'm overreacting, but I can’t, I can’t handle not being good enough again. Not with Keith.” 

“Yeah, but … you can’t put this off forever, either,” Hunk pointed out, giving him a crooked smile as he patted Lance on the shoulder one last time before pulling back. His expression was gentle but also pointed, and Lance knew Hunk was right. Keith deserved an answer and so did he, even if they were both afraid of the answer.

Lance winced a little; giving Hunk a smile that he was sure was more of a grimace as he rolled to his feet. He had a date to get to, and given there was a slight chance it might be his last with Keith (and he really hoped that chance was as slight as they all thought), he was going to make it count. “Yeah, I know.”

* * *

Keith curled further into Lance’s side, entangling their fingers together as Shang started lecturing Mulan and the others. It had taken two weeks, but they were finally watching _Mulan_. Keith wished it was before whatever was bothering Lance happened, but they didn’t get those kind of luxuries in space. Besides, every time he asked if Lance was okay, Lance just flashed him a brilliant smile or kissed him, so Keith didn’t think he was ready to talk about it.

And a part of Keith wanted to push, but things were going so well lately and for once in his life, he didn’t want a fight. He just wanted to be here, half in Lance’s lap and watching a man sing about being like a tiger. They had time (or Keith hoped they did, flashes of Thace heavy in his memory) for Lance to be ready to share whatever was bothering him.

Besides, Keith was pretty into this movie. He’d never been much of a Disney kid, but this was a nice blend of optimism and action Keith could get behind. Apparently it must have shown on his face, because suddenly Lance leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. His smile was amused and warm as his gaze lingered on Keith instead of the film. “You’re really into this, huh?”

“I’ve wanted to see this movie since I was 8,” Keith reminded him with a small laugh, squeezing Lance’s hand softly as the song came to an end. Lance grinned down at him, soft and playful as he ruffled Keith’s hair a little bit.

“Well, happy to facilitate, babe,” Lance answered as he pulled his hand away, fingers lingering in Keith’s bangs for a few seconds before falling to his side. Keith smiled back at him, one eye still on the film even as he took Land’s hand in his own, gently running over his palm as a way of saying thank you. Lance grinned, something teasing entering his gaze as he turned back to the movie as well. “Do you relate to Mulan? She does heroic but impulsively stupid stuff too.”

Keith pouted, shaking his head a little since he didn’t want to let go of Lance’s hand to cross his arms. Keith did lightly punch Lance with his free arm though, letting out a small snort as he considered Lance’s words. “I mean, more than Ariel or Snow White, but I’m not really the _Disney_ type.”

“Well, you’re my favorite Disney character,” Lance assured him with a small smirk, pulling Keith closer to him as the scene changed to Mulan and the other soldiers at the lake. Keith rolled his eyes a little while letting his head fall on Lance’s shoulder, muttering that Lance was a nerd under his breath. “You’re kind of half Hiro and have GoGo.”

“What?” Keith asked, glancing over at him and blinking a little, because he’d never heard those names before. He figured they were _Disney_ characters, but he was lost outside of that. He scrunched his eyebrows as Lance rolled his shoulders and raised an eyebrow, as though that was supposed to be an answer. Lance let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head a little as though he was horrified by Keith’s lack of Disney knowledge.

“ _Big Hero 6_ – so many Disney movies you missed being a broody emo teen,” Lance said with a low exhale as he pulled Keith closer, as though to protect him from his own angst.

“I was busy studying,” Keith countered with a small smile as a brief look of surprise flitted across Lance’s face. Then it faded into understanding, Lance nodding a little as though he just got it. Keith had great instincts, sure, but that didn’t mean all of his training on here was for fun or that he hadn’t been doing just as much (more) at the Garrison. Keith took his work seriously.

“Top student at the Garrison, but at what cost?” Lance teased, eyes crinkling again as he leaned over to flick Keith’s bangs. Keith sighed, frowning a bit as he took in Lance’s words. Lance didn’t even know what he’d said, but he was still right. Keith had been so focused on being the best, on being to go at it alone, that he’d never gotten to have a life or have friends. When Lance and Hunk and Pidge were having movie nights, he was by himself. Always by himself after Shiro moved on to harder classes and missions, in fact.

Except not anymore.

“Well, now we have the rest of our lives for you to show me what I missed,” Keith murmured softly, squeezing Lance’s hand and staring up at him in a way most people would probably call adoring and Keith would have rolled his eyes at just a few weeks ago. Keith turned his gaze back to the film, grinning widely as he saw Mulan take on the Huns in the snow. Shang was going to be so proud of her.

“Yeah,” Lance muttered, squeezing back a little too lifelessly for Keith’s taste. Keith glanced up at him, biting his lip at the look on Lance’s face. It was the same one that had started randomly coming over Lance’s face the past few days, anxious and longing, even though he already had Keith.

“Hey, what’s that face? You’re the one who said I needed to see Mulan,” Keith said softly, trying to keep his voice light. Keith scrunched his eyebrows together, curling further against Lance and trying to reassure him that he was there and not going anywhere. It helped a little, Lance’s shoulders relaxing, but the worry didn’t quite leave his eyes. Not good enough. “I thought you’d be happy I liked it.”

Keith went for teasing again, giving Lance an out if he didn’t want to talk about whatever was actually bothering him. Lance smiled thankfully even as his gaze became more serious as he tightened his grip around Keith’s shoulder. “I am, I’m happy. Honestly almost couldn’t be happier,” “Keith –“

The distress call rang out across the room before Lance could answer, both of them jumping to their feet. They’d come a long way since the first night on the ship.

“Are you kidding me?” Keith muttered, shaking his head a little as they ran down the hallway, Red roaring in the back of his mind. She seemed nervous, which was never a good sign. He grinned over at Lance as they reached their armor, softening his gaze as much as he could. “Someday we’re going to get through Mulan.”

“I believe in you babe, I know you will,” Lance said with a small nod, smile not reaching his gaze as he started changing. Keith frowned, something about Lance’s words making him feel uneasy even as Red’s comforting rumble filled his mind as they entered the hangar. But Keith couldn’t think about that right now. They had a ship to rescue and supplies to recover. They were Lance and Keith, but they were also Voltron and that came first.

Despite Red’s roar, the mission was going smoothly so far, almost too smoothly. Keith and Shiro had gotten the prisoners out of the escape pods in record time, Pidge and Hunk easily disabling the security system and weapons. Though that didn’t stop the hoard of robot soldiers that kept coming their way, Keith and Shiro slicing and shooting their way through one after the other to keep the escaping prisoners safe. Lance, meanwhile, was clearing a path for Hunk and Pidge to recover the supplies and transport them to Yellow and Green, who were going to travel to the prisoners.

Keith didn’t like it when any of them went off alone, especially with Lance having been inured on the last mission. But the comm link had been eerily calm, Lance only encountering about half the robots that Keith and Shiro had. Everything had been easy and Keith didn’t like it. It made him nervous, swings getting sloppier as he kept glancing down the hallway for either Lance or one of the robot armies.

Which is how he almost got hit in the face by a robot arm, only to have someone gently knock him out of the way. Keith turned around, sword in hand in case it was a soldier instead of Shiro, but it was neither. It was Lance, smirking as he swung his gun into position and aimed it towards an incoming robot.

“Welcome to the party, Lance,” Keith said with smirk as he sliced his way through another robot, gently bumping shoulders with his boyfriend before taking another swing.

“Sorry I’m late, I know how you hate going to these things without me,” Lance singsonged back, letting out a mock sigh as he shot another robot, its own laser hitting the ceiling so a bit of debris just barely missed hitting Keith in the head. Keith shot Lance a playful glare as he sidestepped another one, twisting around to take out two robots in one go. “All the small talk and lasers.”

“Really cramping my style,” Keith agreed with a small exhale of his own as a few more robots came in the back, others rushing in so they were close. Keith smirked, catching Lance’s gaze with a playful one of his own. They knew this game, and they were definitely better at it than anything the Galra Empire had built. “Back to back?”

“Well, can’t say I won’t miss seeing your face,” Lance said with a wide grin, fluttering his eyelashes even as he turned on his heel to face the robots that were at a distance. Keith slid his non-sword arm through Lance’s free one, flushing a little even though Lance couldn’t see his face.

“Lance, Keith, not that I’m unhappy you’re getting along, but let’s keep our focus on the mission?” Shiro suddenly called out, face a perfect mask of leadership and seriousness even though Keith could see the twinkle in his eye. Keith stuck his tongue out a little, but then swung, sword impaling a robot that had come up his right. Okay, maybe Shiro had a point about the flirting.

“Sorry Shiro,” Keith said with a quick nod, and Shiro gave him a warm smile before blasting a group of robots and ducking before one hit him in the forehead. Keith gave him a quick thumbs up, strengthening his grip on his sword as he aimed at another robot that was getting dangerously close to Shiro.

“Yeah, sorry, but check this out,” Lance called to Shiro, and Keith didn’t need to see his face to know that Lance was smirking. They suddenly swung around in a circle, taking out at least six of the ever-increasing robots – Keith was regretting being worried things weren’t hard enough – before gracefully landing back where they’d started. Shiro raised an eyebrow, before nodding, gaze warm and approving of their ingenuity. Keith smiled, basking in the silent praise for the both of them for a moment.

“To your left,” Keith said, the moment of pride over as he saw a robot shoot toward Lance out of the corner of his eye. They dived that way, and then Keith swung, pivoting his foot forward as he did. He was glad when Lance followed suit. “My right.”

Lance followed, both of them moving to the right and then back, bending a little to the side as one of the robots lunged toward them again. Keith slid one leg out to trip a robot so it went careening to the floor, sparks flying across the room. Then a laser was suddenly coming over his head. “Duck! Okay, now to your right, Keith.”

“Gonna jump!” Keith yelled as the robot on the ground, malfunctioning but not entirely dead, swung its sword arm toward Keith’s foot. Keith leapt up, gliding over the arm and landing one foot on the robot’s head, machinery crackling and finally going silent under the weight of his foot. Then Lance hit his back, long legs tangling into his and almost knocking them both over as Keith flailed from Lance’s weight. He really needed to work on his overall body strength.

“A little more warning next time, babe,” Lance said with a hint of fond exasperation as they righted themselves, Lance shooting off a few blasts and knocking down a row of robots like they were dominoes. Keith flushed a little as he stabbed his way through his own, because yeah, maybe he should’ve let go of Lance’s arm first. He hadn’t thought that through.

“Of course – Lance!” Keith shouted, because out of the corner of his eye he saw a robot, faster than the rest, slip out of Shiro’s corner and toward Lance.

Lance’s eyes widened, turning on his heel, but there wasn’t enough time. He wouldn’t be able to hit it with his gun. Keith let go of his arm and dived in front of Lance, sword held out in one hand and pushed it forward and into the robot’s metal chest. It was only two bad that the robot’s own sword pierced his armor at the same time, sliding straight through it and the skin below.

Keith let out a pained howl collapsing to the ground as he heard several shots and blasts going on around him. They stopped after a second, Keith surrounded by dozens of robots shells, and at least it looked like they were finally done with the fight. Lance and Shiro would be able to get back to the Lions with ease as long as there weren’t too many more robots in the hallway and they didn’t have too much dead weight to carry.

“L- Lance. S- Shiro,” Keith murmured, voice raspy and pained. But he was still able to speak, which meant his organs were still working, or at least most of them. If they’d pierced something important he wouldn’t be able to talk, right? Keith wished he’d taken more biology classes at the Garrison.

“You need to preserve your energy, Keith,” Shiro said gently as he lifted Keith from the ground; gaze heavy and pained as he carefully slid a hand under Keith’s shoulders and legs. Keith could barely keep his head up, which wasn’t a great sign. He took a shaky breath, glancing up at Shiro as numbness started to grow in his chest. Keith didn’t think he had a lot of time left.

“I love you Shiro,” Keith murmured, voice weaker than it had been a second ago. Keith’s eyes widened, expression growing dark as he shook his head fiercely, as though the strength of his hurt could keep Keith alive. Keith turned his head, ignoring the pain that came with it, so he could stare at Lance, who had the same lost, worried look from earlier. Keith still didn’t like it. I – I love you too, Lance. I’m happy we, we met and –“,

“I love you too, but Shiro is right, you need to shut up and save your breath,” Lance muttered shakily, voice sounding like he might cry any second. Keith felt cool hands brush his bangs away from his face, and then the world faded away.

* * *

The ride back to the Castle was tense, Lance going on autopilot as he followed Black and Red back to the ship. Blue sent comforting purrs to the back of his mind, but Lance can barely feel them against the weight of his fear. Not when he watched Shiro run down the hall with Keith’s lifeless body, Red screaming so loudly the hangar was shaking. Lance couldn’t move for a second, gaze blank as he held on to Blue’s mouth. His legs felt like jelly and there was nothing he could to help Keith. None of them could except Coran and if they hadn’t been fast enough then –

Then he wanted to be in the room to say goodbye. Lance ran down the hall and into the room with the healing pods, watching as Shiro was hurriedly changing Keith into the pod suit, Coran typing wildly. Keith looked paler than usual, skin a sickly color. His hair looked flat. All of him looked flat, actually, Keith lying out like he was on a cutting board, limbs strangely stiff. Lance bit back a cry at the sight, because it was closer to death than Shiro had been when they brought him in after they fought Zarkon.

Lance felt his hand tingle and glanced down, and then his voice caught in the back of his throat. Keith was flat and his soulmark was getting there. The wavy lines were vanishing along with all the diamonds and tiny stars and dots, Keith disappearing more and more with each passing second they didn’t have in the pod. Keith was his soulmate. Keith was dying. Lance let out a strangled cry. “Hunk!”

The sound drew both Hunk’s and Shiro’s, who stepped aside to let Coran work, gaze to him and more directly his palm. Shiro stiffened, expression going blank save his eyes, which are heavy with a combination of grief and shock. Shiro’s hands were clenched against the edge of the cot Coran was lifting Keith off of now. “No.”

“Lance, take some deep breathes, it going to be okay,” Hunk murmured as he came to his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Allura had gone to Shiro, hugging him tightly as he stood there, still staring blankly at where Coran was hooking Keith up to all kind of wires.

“We don’t know that yet,” Lance murmured as he held his mark up. It hadn’t gotten any flatter, but it wasn’t rising either, still stuck in the same limbo between life and death that Keith was. Hunk winced, gaze pained as he pulled Lance into a tighter hug, the only comfort he could offer right now. Coran pressed a few more buttons as the pod closed, expression tight and anxious as the machine beeped. Lance had never found the sound annoying until now.

Then the lights went on, bubbling floating across the pod. Lance felt his palm tingle again, and he was almost afraid to look down at his hand. But he does, taking a deep breath and then nearly crying at the sight. The mark has risen again, firm and visible and _alive_ , just like Keith must be. Keith was going to be okay.

“Shiro, Shiro look, it’s not flattening, it might be a little higher,” Lance called, pushing his palm in Shiro’s face as tears of relief slid down his face, but Lance didn’t care. Shiro stared at his palm, blank expression slowly shifting in a tired smile, one hand coming up to run a few fingers across Lance’s palm.

“Yeah, its perfect,” Shiro said, voice shaky as he pulled Lance into a brief, tight hug, and if Lance didn’t know better, he’d think Shiro was crying a little too. This was the closest any of them outside of them had come to death, Shiro had never been on this side of it, and especially not with someone as important to him as Keith. Or, going by the tired resignation in Shiro’s fear, maybe he had and it was worse than Lance could imagine.

“And now we know for sure your soulmates, so at least we can stop worrying about that,” Hunk said suddenly, letting go of Lance’s shoulder, though his other hand stayed where it laid against Lance’s back. He was smiling, warm and teasing, and Shiro raised an eyebrow along with Allura and Coran. Now that it seemed like Keith was going to be okay, the mood was shifting to tease Lance time, and Lance couldn’t be happier about it.

“Hunk,” Lance still sighed dramatically, though he can’t stop his wide grin of relief or the shaky, bitter laugh that followed. In the moment, he’d forgotten his insecurities, that he’d ever questioned Keith was his soulmate. It hadn’t even been a question and now it seemed stupid that it ever had been.

“What, I’m just saying,” Hunk protested, though there was a twinkle in his eye that made Lance think this wasn’t _just_ his usual bluntness. He glanced over at the pod and then back at Lance and Shiro, smiling as he reached his arm out to pat them both on the shoulders. “One of you should get a super romantic pod awakening, and you blew yours.”

“You’re a jerk,” Lance muttered with a shaky laugh as they walked toward the couch together. Shiro scrunched his eyebrows, frowning in confusion as he took a seat next to Lance on the couch where they could see Keith from. Lance got it, Hunk was giving them something to talk about, joke about, while they waited for Keith to wake up. And Hunk was also right, because Lance got what Keith meant now. He wasn’t going another day without a real tug there to let him know Keith was safe and sound and alive (and when he wasn’t the first two). They both deserved that.

* * *

Keith woke up with a start, tumbling out of the pod and into a firm chest. Arms wrapped around him a second later, one around his shoulders and the other at his waist, holding him up as much as they were hugging him. Only Shiro hugged like that, loving and literally supporting all at once. Keith wrapped his own arms around Shiro’s back, letting out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. Keith hadn’t – he wasn’t sure he was going to wake up when he fell asleep on that ship.

Given by how long Shiro held on before he let go, gently righting Keith and still resting one hand on his shoulder, Keith got the feeling no one else had been sure either. Shiro smiled down at him, gaze warm and filled with relief as he still held onto him. “Shiro?” “How long was I out?”

“Nearly three days,” Shiro answered with a small sigh, and Keith winced, because that was a lot longer than he’d been hoping. No wonder Shiro had been worried, no to mention the distress calls he might have missed helping with or the fights they might have had to leave because they needed Voltron. Keith hated being hurt under normal circumstances, let alone when everyone on the Castle and the universe was relying on him to be there to help protect them.

“Oh, sorry,” Keith muttered, voice small and soft as he glanced up at Shiro. Shiro frowned tightly, shaking his head a little as though to dismiss Keith’s words or maybe out of disappointment. Keith ignored it, because he knew he was right one way or the other. Besides, there were bigger issues to address. “Where is everyone? How mad are they?”

“I decided we should take shifts and I made everyone else go to bed. I almost had to carry Lance out,” Shiro murmured with a small smile, and Keith can’t help returning it as he imagined Lance’s lanky legs hanging over Shiro’s arms, at Lance sitting next to his pod and waiting for him. Lance was, Lance was great and adorable and didn’t deserve to be worried like that. Shiro frowned again, ruffling Keith’s hair a little on his next words. “But who should be mad at who?”

“You guys are always saying I need to think things through and not act on my emotions, and this time I almost ruined the entire mission,” Keith pointed out with a slight wince, because if there had been more robots or soldiers, Lance and Shiro almost definitely would’ve been caught when they were trying to carry him to safety.

“You did what you thought you needed to for Lance, but yeah, I would like to work on your self-preservation skills,” Shiro answered with a small sigh and a tight gaze, before giving Keith a gentle smile to soften his words. Keith still had the feeling they’d be talking about it later. Shiro gave him another quick hug. “But no one is mad at you and the mission went fine, everyone and their medical supplies got to the Balmera safely. We were all just worried about when you’d wake up.”

“Oh, that’s, yeah,” Keith mumbled, eyes widening and tears prickling at the back of them. He hadn’t even thought about them being worried about him, hadn’t ever imagined a world where that many people wanted him to be okay. Keith took a shaky breath, smiling as he rubbed at his eyes a little, relieved when he didn’t actually cry this time. His gaze drifted to the hallway where everyone, where Lance, was waiting up for him or trying to and felt his chest grow warm again.

“I don’t think Lance would mind if you woke him up,” Shiro said in a knowing voice as he let of his shoulder and gave him a small nudge toward the hallway. Keith stuck his tongue out at Shiro, rolling his eyes a little before giving him a thankful smile. Keith almost died but he felt so light as he made his way down the hallway, stopping in front of Lance’s door and smiling gently at the sounds of rustling aside.

Keith pressed the door open, surprised to find himself face to face with a yellow shirt. Keith glanced up to see Hunk’s bright smile and relieved gaze, and before he knew it he was pulled into a fierce hug. Keith returned in full force, laughing a little when Hunk finally let him go and gave him a careful once over, as though checking for lingering injuries (or sudden spots of purple, but Keith decided to let that possibility go).

“Keith! You’re alive,” Hunk cried out, grinning widely as he hugged Keith again, gentle and short this time, though he did pull Keith off of his feet for a second. Keith toppled a little, off balance and letting out a small yawn. He was still tired somehow, even though he’d spent three days asleep and normally only slept about four hours a night. Almost dying had really taken it out of him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m alive and so are you,” Keith agreed with a warm smile as he patted Hunk on the shoulder, trying not to stare over Hunk’s shoulder as he heard light rustling in the background. “Did we get the info we needed along with the supplies? I forgot to ask Shiro.”

“Pidge and I did, but we’re still encrypting it, but who cares when you don’t have a hole in your chest anymore,” Hunk pointed out, shaking his head a little bit at Keith’s words. He pressed a hand over Keith’s chest where he’d been hit, gaze growing tight and surprisingly serious as his voice dropped an octave. “Please don’t get another hole in your chest.”

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t make any promises,” Keith said with a slightly sheepish smile, because between their jobs and his impulsivity, Keith had the feeling this wouldn’t be his last time in the healing pod by a long shot. Though he hoped next time he wouldn’t be quite this close to actually dying. Hunk nodded, expression softening and growing lighter as the rustling behind them grew louder. Hunk took a step back, pulling Keith in with him before spinning them around.

Keith really must be tired, if he was picked up and moved around that easily. His fight or flight (though he only had fight) instincts were basically shot.

“Hey buddy, welcome to the world of the living, look who else is here!” Hunk said excitedly, gesturing over at where Lance was rubbing his eyes in the corner of the room. Lance froze, hand still pressed against his face, as he stared at Keith. Hunk looked between them and then nodded decisively, patting Keith on the shoulder before taking a step back toward the door. “I’m gonna let you two talk.”

“Hey,” Lance murmured as Hunk walked out the door, it closing with a soft ding. Then Lance was wrapped around him hands running down his back and face pressed against his neck and breathing in softly, as though he was reassuring himself that Keith was still there. Keith knew the feeling. He hugged Lance back, tight and close and pressed soft kisses to his cheek, trying to reassure Lance that he was okay. Lance pulled away to gently kiss him on the lips, though there was a desperation there Keith couldn’t help matching with his own. He’d been – Keith had been _afraid_ to die, he realized now, and the thought made his head spin. Keith hadn’t had much reason to be before.

“Sorry,” Keith murmured, kissing Lance again and then again, both small and sweet as he rested his hands against Lance’s waist. Lance pulled back, one arm still wrapped around Keith’s shoulder, the other hand coming down to tilt Keith’s chin up so he was looking Lance in the eye.

“Don’t apologize for saving my life,” Lance murmured, tone teasing and gaze warm and with a quiet knowing there, as though he could see all the things Keith was feeling in his face. Maybe he could. Then some of the worry came back into Lance’s gaze, frowning a little as he pulled Keith closer again, as though he were going over that day in his mind. He probably was, Lance was a planner, someone who tried to fix things. “But babe, there are words like duck or you could’ve tackled me or – we just need to work on your self-preservation skills.”

Keith snorted; because yeah, maybe he should have tried something besides diving in front of Lance, but he’d been desperate and a little terrified at the idea of Lance being injured again when he’d barely gotten better from their last fight. Logic hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind so much as making sure nothing ever hurt Lance again even if it hurt him instead. Lance raised an eyebrow, and Keith smiled sheepishly again, because yeah, maybe that was the point. “That’s what Shiro said.”

“He’s a wise man,” Lance murmured with a small smile, dropping his hand from Keith’s chin to instead take his hand in his own, fingers gently running over his markless palm. Keith hadn’t even thought about grabbing his gloves before he went to see Lance.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed with a soft smile, because he liked that Lance and Shiro wanted him to worry about his own life more, even if Keith knew it was always going to be a struggle for him. But mostly his gaze kept drifting to their two hands that weren’t touching when Keith kind of wished they were. “We were supposed to bond today, but it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“What?” Lance asked in confusion, sliding his marked hand to Keith’s waist to steady him at the same time Keith realized he was swaying a little. He bit back a yawn, not wanting to go to sleep yet, not until he talked to Lance a little more. Apparently the pod made him as tired as it made Lance dizzy.

“You said a few days, and that usually means two or three,” Keith explained, and Lance’s eyebrow shot to his hairline for a second. Keith shrugged, fighting back a flush as he realized he might have been counting on that a little too much. He’d even picked out a few flowers to put around Blue’s legs like they did on beds in the movie. “But I know you don’t wanna do it right after one of us gets stabbed.”

“I didn’t mean that literally, but it’s cute you were counting the days,” Lance said with a slight smirk, squeezing Keith’s hand softly. Keith lost his fight to his blush, rolling his eyes when it only made Lance’s grin grow wider. Then Lance’s expression grew more serious, smile turning bittersweet and a little embarrassed. “I was too. Keith … I meant it when I said I didn’t want you to rush into anything, but that wasn’t the only reason.”

“Lance?” Keith asked in a small voice, glaring a little from his nerves and wishing he didn’t have such an obvious tell once someone knew it wasn’t from anger. If he was going to be rejected, he wanted to be rejected with dignity at least.

“Nothing with you,” Lance swore, squeezing Keith’s hand again and leaning forward to plant a small kiss to his forehead. Keith leaned into the touch, letting out a sigh of relief, even as he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, because if the issue wasn’t one of them, what was it? “What Pidge said, I got worried she was right and that we weren’t soulmates and we’d both end up more hurt and alone than before.”

“We wouldn’t have had to break up,” Keith argued, frowning at the idea and shaking his head a little bit, which earned a warm smile from Lance. Keith meant it. He’d started to believe in destiny because of Lance and how good they were together, because of how his soulmark finally seemed to be worth something. But if destiny had suddenly said they were both meant for someone else, Keith would’ve gone right back to saying ‘Fuck you’ to it, no questions asked. Lance shook his head a little at the determined look on Keith’s face, brushing his fingertips against Keith’s cheek. “What changed your mind?”

“My mark nearly flattened out when it was touch or go with you,” Lance explained with a small laugh, shaking his head a little as he leaned forward so their foreheads were touching, Lance’s head bent a little in a way Keith didn’t think could be comfortable. There was a fondness in his gaze that made Keith’s heart feel like it was going to burst. “Not the ideal way to find out we’re soulmates, but hey, what is in space? And it made me realize – it wouldn’t have mattered, if we weren’t. But we are.”

“Well, at least it’s not a question anymore,” Keith answered with a small laugh at Lance’s rambling, pressing his own, markless hand over the one on his cheek, his other gripping Lance’s waist again. He let out another small yawn, eyelids suddenly feeling heavy even as he wanted nothing more to stay right here. “Lance I really want to bond, but I’m exhausted.”

“Tomorrow morning?” Lance asked with a small smile as Keith yawned again, Lance gently turning him around and walking him to the door and then into the hallway. They held hands the few steps between their door, neither of them quite ready to let go now that everything suddenly felt like it was finally happening.

“Yeah, in the Hangar,” Keith murmured, glancing up at Lance fondly. Lance frowned, eyebrows scrunching together as he pressed a finger to his chin. Keith sighed, because why he wanted it there should be obvious. “I want Red and Blue to be there!”

“You’re a nerd,” Lance murmured softly, though the softness in his gaze made it clear he agreed they should be there. Lance leaned over to press a small kiss to Keith’s lips before finally letting go of his hand, and Keith watched him take the few steps to his bedroom before he finally closed his door. Tomorrow morning couldn’t come faster.

Keith barely slept that night despite how tired he was, tossing and turning as he stared at his palms, gaze stuck on the straight and wavy lines of his mark, the flowers and feathers, and the dots and stars, and all the things that signified Lance. Keith had stayed up all night staring at his hands before, but never because of the fluttering in his chest or the wide smiles he couldn’t stop from overtaking him any moment. Keith wondered if this was what people felt like on their wedding night. Keith finally gave up on sleep after he’d only gotten three hours of it at 5 in the morning, carefully making his way to the hangar still clad in his red pajamas and lion slippers (he had to admit that Lance and Hunk were right about them being more comfortable than his boots).

It was early, around 4:45 in the morning going by the watches Pidge and Hunk made for them. Lance probably wouldn’t be up for hours. Keith still couldn’t bring himself to go back to bed, sitting on Red’s foot and relaxing as much as he could to the soft purrs coming from her. She was sure that today would go well. She liked Lance and Keith grinned a little, hugging her leg a bit as he watched the Hangar door.

“Well, here it is,” Keith murmured as the clock struck 5, even though he knew on most days Lance wouldn’t be up for hours. It was still what most people would call morning which meant any moment now Lance could – except he was coming through the door now, the soft blue of his pajamas like a beacon as he walked in front of Blue. Keith scrambled to his feet, smile so wide it was actually hurting his jaw as reached Lance’s side. “There you are.”

”Anyone ever told you that you’ve got sexy palms?” Lance asked with a wide smirk, winking flirtatiously even though Keith could still see the excitement and nervousness in his gaze, the nerves he couldn’t lose either. It didn’t make sense; they _knew_ they were soulmates.

“That’s bad, even for you,” Keith answered with a soft snort, shaking his head a little as he took another step toward Lance. Keith held up his palms and wiggled them in Lance’s face, earning a sharp laugh from Lance that had Keith giggling after a moment too. He pressed his face against the soft material of Lance’s sleeping shirt, laughter muted for a moment before he pulled back to look up at Lance with a grin.

“Hey, not my fault you kept them all covered up, and it turned me into a Victorian,” Lance countered, voice still shaking with laughter as he took a step back, until there was a tiny bit of space between them. Lance was still smiling, but the seriousness of this moment over took the giggles the elation of it created a few seconds before.

“Well, I promise you’ll see them more in the future,” Keith said softly, smile becoming more muted as he crossed his arms a little, taking another deep breath to calm himself. This was a moment he’d never expected for himself, one he didn’t think he’d deserved. And now it was finally happening, and with Lance ‘the cute popular guy from the Garrison’ Ramirez. Fate was stranger and more beautiful than Keith ever could have imagined. He stared at Lance, with his warm smile and gentle eyes, Lance who was smart and funny and so kind – “Lance.”

“Keith, are you ready for this?” Lance asked softly, gaze tense as he held his hands up and back. And Lance, who was so patient with all of Keith’s issues, would wait for him again. And probably be annoyed with Keith for thinking about it that way, and that thought, that Lance understood and accepted him, supported him even when Keith didn’t always support himself, was all the answer he needed. Keith wanted to be connected with Lance, wanted to be that for him too.

“Yeah, yeah I am, if you are,” Keith promised, gazing up at Lance and smiling as he slowly held up his palm, his soulmark facing Lance. He grinned over at Lance, smile soft and longing as he took a step toward the other boy. Lance returned his smile with a warm one of his own, carefully lifting up his own hand and placing it in front of Keith’s own, both of them pausing for a second to take in this moment. And then their hands finally met in the middle. For a beat nothing happened and Keith sucked in a breath.

Then Keith felt the tug, a spark of warmth that turned into a rush, a heavy thrum spreading down from his palm and filling his body. It was electric but safe at the time, Keith feeling overwhelmed at the rush of warmth and safety spreading through him, like a thousand of Lance’s smiles hitting him all at once. Keith’s knees were shaking and he clutched onto Lance tighter, only able to stare at him open-mouthed while Lance stared back at him with wide eyes, Keith’s other hand coming up to grip Lance’s shoulder.

“Whoa,” Keith murmured because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. Words had never been in his skillset, and there weren’t any to describe the feeling in his chest right now. It was a sense of belonging Keith didn’t even think existed before now, a physical pull that meant he belonged to someone, that he had a _home_.

* * *

“Whoa indeed,” Lance agreed, grinning over at Keith, not able to pull his gaze from the wide eyes and flush on his boyfriend’s – on his _soulmate’s_ – cheeks, or how Keith was smiling more widely and openly than Lance had ever seen before, the gentle heat and protectiveness and love coursing through his veins and in every thrum of their bond. Everything about this moment was something Lance wanted to imprint in his memory forever. Lance squeezed Keith’s hand, laughing gently when Keith shook his head while still maintaining eye contact, mouth hanging open a little, even though he was sure his expression was about the same.

“This is intense, even for me,” Keith admitted, leaning forward and gently kissing Lance, managing to do it without dislodging either the hand on his shoulder or their still locked marks. The thrum was so strong Lance swore he could feel the vibration from it on their lips, even though he was pretty sure that was impossible.

“They say it usually calms down after a bit,” Lance said after Keith broke the kiss, voice a little breathless. Lance was a little sad about that, but mostly relieved; he doubted they’d be able to do much piloting (or anything else) when the tug was this strong. Lance swore he could feel Keith in every atom of his body right now, and beyond Keith, there was something else there. A gentle roar, distant and soft, almost imperceptible compared to Blue, but still there. Red. “Do you – I can hear Red grumbling, it’s not super clear, but it’s there. Can you hear Blue?”

“Yeah, Blue’s there too,” Keith answered softly, flush deepening a little as he glanced down at the ground. Then he glanced back up at Lance, expression a little more determined even though the flush hadn’t faded. “She sounds a little like you.”

“And Red’s like you,” Lance assured him with a tender smile, because he didn’t think he’d ever stop being charmed by the things that made Keith turn soft and shy, especially not when Keith was holding his hand like that. Lance let out a small sigh of contentment, one that was interrupted as he felt himself being pushed into Keith, Blue’s nose cold on the back of his head. Lance glanced up to find Red doing the same, lightly shoving Keith into his chest. Black, Green, and Yellow were all looking on, heads glowing softly and sending a warm glow throughout the hangar. Everything felt and looked soft now. “I think they’re happy for us.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed in an almost whisper, gaze warm as he clung to Lance, pressing up against his chest until there was no space between them. The tug was already fading into a softer thrum, one that was less overwhelming but no less beautiful as Keith softly kissed Lance. Lance smiled into the kiss, pressing their foreheads together and basking in the feel of the thrum. They stayed in the hangar for a very, very long time that morning.

* * *

Lance woke up to find Keith already awake, sitting on the edge of his bed, black hair spread out across his neck and upper back and brushing against the top of his red sweater, which was currently threatening to slide off of one shoulder (Coran had surprised them with new clothes for the first year anniversary of Voltron and Lance had maybe picked out Keith’s when he said he didn’t care). Keith smiled over at him, gaze soft as he took the hair band currently between his lips and pulled his hair into a messy bun, bangs still falling across his forehead haphazardly. Keith leaned down, stealing a quick kiss and kneeling over Lance as he sat up so they were eye to eye. “You ever gonna cut your hair?”

“Not when you like it so much,” Keith teased with a flirtatious smile or his best imitation of one, leaning forward to poke one of Lance’s slightly flushed cheeks. It was nice not to be the one blushing for once. Then Keith playfully flicked one of Lance’s curls, watching as it bounced up and then hit Lance squarely in the forehead. “Besides, I’m no the only one growing my hair out.”

“Couldn’t let you have the best hair on the ship,” Lance answered with a small snort, wrapping one arm around Keith’s neck. Keith rolled his eyes a little, crossing his arms as he slid further into Lance’s lap, pouting a little as he brushed one hand across Lance’s curls again. Lance actually laughed this time, because it looked like he wasn’t the only one who was obsessed with the other’s hair here.

“Not an issue with Allura,” Keith answered with a small shrug, earning a mock-offended look from his boyfriend, who threw a hand over his heart and almost dislodged Keith from the bed. Keith sighed, moving off of Lance’s lap and gently nudging him with his body weight. “Move over.”

“You’re incorrigible, I've created a monster in the past three months,” Lance muttered, even as he moved over enough for Keith to curl up against him, there almost no space left between them in the single bed. Keith pressed his head against Lance’s chest, hair brushing against his chin softly.

“You think I’m adorable,” Keith pointed out with a small shrug, though he knew Lance could see the slight hint of uncertainty in his gaze. It had gotten smaller with each passing day since they formed the bond, Keith finally starting to believe Lance was going to stay, that the universe might just _let_ him stay. The nightmares still came, but they were a little easier to bare now that reassuring thrum in his chest made it cleat at least someone he loved was still there, still close by.

“Yeah, I do,” Lance assured him, grin growing wider as the nervousness faded from Keith’s gaze, replaced with something more playful as Keith leaned up and nipped at him. Sometimes it really was a little like dating a cat. “The cutest.”

“Second,” Keith corrected with a small shrug, snuggling closer to Lance so he was half on top of him again. Keith smirked as Lance sighed, shaking his head a little as though he wanted to argue but couldn’t find a good compliment. It had become their new competition, who could flirt the most or sneak in the most kisses in one day. Keith liked it more than when they argued over who took down the most robots (though they still did that too).

“Well, we have decades to figure out whose right about that,” Lance pointed out with a grin, ruffling Keith’s hair so his bun was at an awkward angle. Keith pouted a little in response, so Lance leaned over to steal a kiss until Keith’s pout melted into a gentle smile, gaze warm as he stared up at Lance.

“Yeah, we do,” Keith agreed in a soft voice, even though they couldn’t know that, not as long as they were paladins of Voltron. Any day could be their last, but it might not be too, and for once Keith wanted to hope for the future. He pressed his marked palm against Lance’s mark, gently kissing Lance again as he squeezed his hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Keith,” Lance whispered back, gazing at Keith tenderly as he kissed him again. It was the second time they’d exchanged those words, though he had the feeling it was the first time Keith remembered saying them. This time Lance could enjoy them, let the meaning soak in and add an extra layer of warm to the tug.

The bond hadn’t been the fairy tale either of them had been told about as children. It was hard earned and required endless work together and apart during the bad times when their insecurities got the better of them. But it was also what caused the warm thrum in his chest, and maybe that contented thrum and the two of them holding each other in this tiny bed was enough. Maybe _this_ , more than anything else, was what it meant to be a soulmate.

It was for Keith and Lance, anyway, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so, after about four months, lots and lots of help from several wonderful betas and friends, and a lot of anxiety on my part, this fic comes to an end. This is a little bittersweet for me, because I really loved writing this story. I hope everyone who read it and reads it in the future experiences that as well! Thank you so much for reading my story!
> 
> To anyone who saw the previous additional chapter "Author's Note" I apologize for being dramatic. I've talked to a friend and realized that I was A: overreacting and B: the stories are dated so it is clear *when* I wrote them anyway. If you didn't see that chapter, please don't worry about it one way or the other, I was just being silly.


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